Halloween II Page #3

I became the surrogate father.

The last father

in a long series of fathers.

Well, has anybody

got any questions at all?

Yes, sir. Yes. Please.

You never really made it clear whether

you believe it was nurture or nature...

...that contributed

to Michael's condition.

I would like to answer it, in part,

by quoting...

...the great George Bernard Shaw...

...with a little Loomis twist

at the end.

He says:
"In the arts of life,

man invents nothing.

But in the arts of death,

he outdoes nature herself...

...and produces,

by chemistry and machinery...

...all the slaughter of plague,

pestilence, famine"...

...and Michael Myers.

Well, sorry, but I like that little one.

That's my own little twist.

Yes, ma'am?

Do you feel personally responsible for

the deaths of as many as 15 victims?

I have tremendous sympathy

for all the families involved.

And do I personally feel responsible?

Ma'am, no, I do not.

And I've said that many times.

It's just awful and...

...I was very nearly a victim myself.

I'm not a psychic Sherlock Holmes

playing Superman.

Since the authorities haven't

been able to produce a body...

...do you think Michael

is alive or dead?

Will he kill again?

Here we go again.

Look, let me make things

nice and sparkling clear.

Michael Myers is f***ing dead!

Now, do you brain-dead

gossip mongers...

...want me to spell it out for you?

D- E-A-D!

Michael.

Halloween is coming.

You have to get ready.

We are counting on you

to bring us home this year.

I won't let you down.

I know you won't, baby.

I love you, Mama.

I love you too, Michael.

It's that same guy who's been coming.

You seen him before?

- Yeah, it's the same bum.

- Stealing our sh*t.

- I'd recognize him anywhere, Daddy.

- Motherf***er.

Can't have drifters just coming in here

and taking whatever they want.

What y'all gonna do?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Shut up, Ivan. We see him.

Let's do it.

You're just gonna scare him.

- Daddy, what the f***?

- Safety.

Hey, you stupid, slimy dick.

I told you if you came on this land

again, I'd beat the f*** out of you.

What the f*** you think

you're doing here?

As big as he is dumb, man.

Look at that.

He's about 7-foot of f***-tard.

I'm talking to you, sh*t-heel.

You stupid f***!

I'm talking to you!

What's wrong with this

son of a b*tch?

Give him a taste of that here.

- All right.

- Hey! No! You'll f***ing kill him.

- Wanna go to jail for killing that turd?

- One more shot. Shut up!

Chris, knock it off.

- Big man.

- Oh, man.

- Come on, Daddy.

- Don't you come back, son of a b*tch.

Man, that was a professional

ass-whupping there.

I'm jacked.

- You okay?

- Shut up, Ivan!

I'm so sorry. What are we gonna do,

just f***ing leave him out here?

Get in the truck.

Come on now. Chop-chop.

- Get in the truck.

- I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry.

Shut up, Ivan.

Seriously.

- Jump up.

- You didn't need to...

...f***ing beat him to a pulp.

- I told the guy.

- F*** that.

Oh, my God!

F***!

No, Daddy!

What are you doing?

I said I was f***ing sorry!

Pizza.

- Dude, you didn't get whole wheat.

- I forgot.

Anybody hungry?

- Starving like Marvin.

- Starving like Marvin.

Has anybody at this table

ever wondered...

...who Marvin is?

I mean, the original Marvin

who was starving Marvin?

- What?

- Was it-? Was it Lee Marvin?

Who's Lee Marvin?

"Who's Lee Marvin?"

Did I stutter?

Paint Your Wagon.

The Professionals. Lee Marvin.

Cat Ballou?

Cat Ballou. He was great in Cat Ballou.

I can't believe you guys haven't seen

it. He was like playing this drunk...

...but he's like the greatest gun

in the West.

At one point he's like...

...talking about being a gunslinger.

And he misses the barn.

He misses the barn completely.

I wanna thank the both of you for

making me feel as old as Methuselah.

All I know is I hope that dead, rotting

flesh didn't bump on my pineapple.

A little dead, rotting flesh

never hurt anybody.

God. Do we have to do this

every time we eat together?

We need to get you off

the animal products, Mr. B.

- Not gonna happen.

- Man was meant to eat meat.

We, all of us,

have a little bit of caveman in us.

God.

How is it possible that every father...

...perfects the art of humiliating

their offspring?

What? It's cute.

- What?

- Come on, Annie.

I'll go. I always go.

Hang on.

God.

- Here.

- Thanks.

Sorry I was such a b*tch earlier.

I get it.

Okay.

Where have you been?

I've been waiting.

You know

I can't come here anymore.

My time here is over.

- You're here now.

- Michael...

...you know I'm not really here.

I wanna show you something.

All right.

I found her.

I found Boo.

My baby.

Can we be a family again?

Not yet, Michael.

Not yet.

Oh, f***.

Come here, buddy.

So, Dr. Loomis, tell me. How long

do you plan on staying in town?

Please. Sam.

Thank you.

Well, I could stay a few eXtra days.

It depends on if there's something

or someone that motivated me.

- EXcuse me, Dr. Loomis-

- I'm in the middle of something.

Could I speak to you? Please?

- What?

- Please?

EXcuse me, my dear.

I won't be one second.

What?

Okay, I am all for selling books.

All right?

God knows I've done some things

that I'm not proud of...

...but this is disgusting.

I did not agree to this backdrop.

What's neXt?

Heading over to the cemetery...

...and dancing on

the victims' graves?

Look, I don't think you

quite understand...

...what I'm trying to accomplish here.

- Well, fair enough. I don't.

EXplain it to me.

I would really like to understand.

I'm selling the sizzle, not the steak.

- The sizzle?

- Yes.

The sizzle. It's bad taste is what it is.

It's just gonna add fuel

to the lynch mob fire.

Bad taste? Bad taste?

My God, it's business, woman!

Business.

Besides, bad taste is the petrol

that drives the American dream.

I think it's a mistake.

- Oh, yeah, you do, do you?

- Yes.

Well, when I want your opinion,

I'll beat it out of you.

Here. Now, take that and go sit in

the car. Go on. Get your ass in there.

Okay. Hi, where do you want me?

Die, you f***ing b*tch!

You f***ing b*tch!

/'m gonna f***ing kill you.

/'m gonna f*** you-

F***ing die, you f***ing b*tch!

You f***ing c*nt!

F***ing b*tch!

Please, Laurie, please!

You f***ing-

Die, you f***ing b*tch!

Laurie! Laurie, Laurie, Laurie!

- You guys like Frankenstein?

- Yes.

Who likes popcorn?

So / was going through the park...

...and there was this

really crazy Frankenstein.

And he was, like, yelling at the kids.

And he was yelling at them,

like, perverted things and stuff.

And I really thought it was funny

and I stopped and watched.

And then / saw this, like, farm.

- Laurie?

- And this lady let me hold the pig.

What are you feeling

right now, Laurie?

The pig really liked me

and she said that the pig...

- Laurie?

...liked me. I wanted to take it home.

Sit down, Laurie.

Come on, Laurie.

Stay centered. What's going on?

I had this really, really,

really crazy attack.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes