Hampstead

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1

- (BIRDS SINGING)

- (PLAYFUL CHATTER)

(DOG BARKING)

MAN:
(ON RADIO) What's clear is we have

a housing crisis that we've never seen before.

RADIO HOST:
We have

a crisis of affordable homes,

not luxury apartments.

You'll let the developers continue to develop

until they swallow the city whole,

won't you?

MAN:
That's simply not true.

RADIO HOST:
Two of your cabinet

colleagues say otherwise.

Look, they're on record saying the opposite.

MAN:
I don't know where you got that from.

- (THUNDER RUMBLING)

- MAN:
It is our policy to guarantee

any new development contains

a fair proportion of affordable units.

RADIO HOST:

Yes, but you and I well know

there are plenty of loopholes in place

to get around that.

MAN:
Not true again.

(RAIN PATTERING ON WINDOW)

Oh.

(GROANS)

(WATER DRIPPING)

Morning, Xavier.

Any mail?

Huh?

(MAN AND WOMAN MOANING)

It's a war film.

Yeah.

Hate to disturb you in the heat of battle,

but my mail.

Mmm.

Oh.

- From the taxman.

- Right.

Again.

(SCOFFS) Oh.

Yeah.

MAN:
That should do it.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(EXHALES)

Forget it.

Okay, what's it today?

A little march against farm-raised salmon.

Sounds like you're swimming

against the current.

- Oh...

- Oh.

- Speak up for salmon. June 25th.

- Yeah, thanks.

BOY:
Oh, come on. Catch it!

(DOG BARKING)

MAN:
Anyway, were you

at that party last night?

Ah. Fantastic.

That's yours.

Hey, listen, that bottle that you gave...

You little...

There, now.

That's a good boy.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(GRUNTS)

- Sounds fantastic. Yeah, great.

- Hello. Good morning.

I can't wait. I'll see you then. Okay. Bye.

- Sorry, do you mind?

- Hm?

Do you mind?

(KNOCK ON WINDOW)

Thank you.

Sure. No problem.

- Maybe if you just...

- (THUDS)

- What? Oh, my God! No, no, no, dear.

- (CHILD LAUGHS)

No, no, no, that... That's not okay.

No, no, we don't do that. No.

That's not... No, no.

- Okay, here we go.

- (CRIES)

That's right, right over here.

CHILD:
Go away. (CRIES)

Did you just tie up my daughter?

- Well...

- Shame on you. Come on, darling.

CHILD:
Mummy, that lady was horrible.

Oh, that's good. Oh, that's great.

Thank you so much. Bye.

(SIGHS)

- Oh!

- Ah!

Emily.

How's it going?

Oh, fine. Everything's fine, thank you.

Good, good.

Well, um,

- I'd better get running, I guess.

- Oh, you bet.

Oh. Careful. Congress is in session.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh.

Oh, sorry. Whoa!

Oh.

Right, er, hedge watering, drain blockage.

What's next? Ah, yes.

Building maintenance.

It's time for our five-yearly facelift,

I'm afraid, this year.

You know.

Painting, pointing, that sort of thing.

Unfortunately, the estimate

that they've given us

- is approximately 60,000.

- (ALL EXCLAIM)

Yeah, I know.

So each flat is gonna be responsible

for about 5,000.

Oh, well, there goes the shoe budget.

I need to marry a millionaire.

You married a millionaire.

I need a spare.

What if this one pops his clogs?

(LAUGHS)

Oh.

Oh, I'm sorry, Emily. That was thoughtless.

No, it's fine. It's fine.

Okay, yes, so, erm, 5,000 should,

should just about cover it,

so long as the roof holds up.

Oh, Emily, you live up there.

There's nothing... Any problems to report?

Oh, no, none. None that could...

I can't think of one.

Good, good. Right.

Oh, yes, there's one final thing.

They've applied for planning permission

to put that dreadful Haleton Hospital

relic across the road

into some really decent flats.

Now, this is a cause

we absolutely must get behind.

Let's put that old decaying hospital

out of its misery once and for all.

No, but I was just thinking...

Oh, come along, Emily.

Why must we live opposite a decrepit eyesore

we all complain about?

- Very true.

- So, all I need you to do

is to write some letters of support

to the council.

- Drinks on Sunday?

- Ooh, lovely.

- Johnny's back from New York.

- Oh, hurrah.

Bye, darling. Speak later.

Oh, Emily, how are you?

Well, I'm fine. Why?

Well, I just like to know, that's all.

Listen, could you be an absolute star

and come back tonight?

There's something I need to talk about.

Oh, well, I'm sorry,

but I'm having dinner with Philip tonight.

Oh! You can cancel him. He's only your son.

- I'll be sure to send him your love.

- Well, tomorrow night, then.

It would mean a lot to me.

Fiona,

I really don't want to meet anyone

else over one of your dinners.

Emily, listen. Shh.

Charles has been gone for a year now.

I mean, you miss him, I miss him.

We all miss him.

I mean, Rory still doesn't know what to do

without his best friend.

I know how hard it must be for you, so,

come on, you at least need a good time.

Well, you know me. I just... Mediocre times,

that's about all I can handle right now.

You need to break out of this, Emily.

No, you know what I'm saying?

If you wait too long,

we shrivel up like some imported apricot

sitting on the shelf in Waitrose.

(LAUGHS) Oh, well...

I shall carry that image with me all day.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(TWIGS SNAP)

(CLEARS THROAT)

LEON:
Hello? Hello? Anyone here?

Oh! Greetings. I'm Leon Rolands.

You must be Donald Horner.

Apologies for the fright. Um...

So this. This deed is a title of ownership

from Brevon International Limited.

And this, of course, is an eviction notice.

Er, right, I mean,

seeing as we, meaning Brevon,

have received no response

from you regarding our orders to vacate,

over the last two months, well...

Here we are.

It really is in your best interest

to take this seriously.

Veg?

Oh. No, thank you.

LEON:
No, really, you're... You're too kind. I...

I...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Mmm.

I visited Dad yesterday.

You did?

It was exactly a year ago yesterday, Mum.

EMILY:
Mmm.

I put some flowers on his grave.

Did you remember?

Well, of course, I did.

I'm going tomorrow.

What?

The pink ones are the most pricey.

I've been talking to Nigel.

Since when have you started

talking to my accountant?

Since he called me to say he can't

represent you any more.

He's been trying to contact

you for weeks. Exasperated,

he called me.

You're running out of money, Mum.

Well, maybe I'm just running

out of the money I told him about.

Look, I worry about you.

Dad was always so good with money.

Your father wasn't a perfect man, Philip.

Please don't do this.

Well, what should I do?

I know you.

You see problems,

you pull your head into your shell.

I'm not always gonna be here, Mum.

What... Whoa. What does...

What does that mean?

Well...

Actually, I've been offered a new job.

But it might mean that I have to move abroad.

Oh, I see, so that's it. Right, of course.

And that's why the sudden

dinner date, right? I see.

So you're actually going to be leaving in...

Well, that's fine. I'm gonna be

perfectly fine with that.

You have to change, Mum.

- Huh?

- Things have to change.

I don't know. What am I...

What are you saying, honey?

Really, what am I supposed to do?

Am I supposed to go out there and get

myself some kind of a high-powered job?

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