Hampstead Page #8

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the very kind of thing

- that this court demands.

- FIFE:
You mean this?

(MURMURING)

See, I had to drive myself to A and E.

I couldn't get the bloody nail out.

It had penetrated a tendon

and scraped what they call the proximal bone.

It was a mess.

Uh, may I, Mr Fife?

Thank you.

"For construction injury received

whilst performing volunteer charity work."

Time-stamped 3:
35am, October 13th...

(MURMURING)

Nothing further, Your Honour.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Consent was never given

by any owner of the land...

And, Mr Horner,

though you exerted a great degree

of exclusive physical control

over the land in question,

you had no legal title to it.

On the other hand,

while Mr Fife's NHS document

is scarcely proof positive,

it is, combined with his flavourful testimony,

very convincing.

It is my opinion Mr Fife was telling the truth.

Mr Horner,

I am convinced that you meet

the requirements for adverse possession.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

What? Sorry, excuse me.

Is... Is... Are you saying that I can stay?

Whether you stay or not is up to you.

This court is prepared to grant you

absolute title to the land in question.

(CHEERING)

The Land Registry office will be notified

that you are sole proprietor.

REPORTER:
Donald, how do you think

your life will change?

I've no intention of changing anything.

(REPORTERS CHEERING)

And that's Donald Horner,

the overnight millionaire.

One can only wonder

where he'll be celebrating tonight.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

EMILY:
Donald, can we talk for a moment?

Uh-huh.

I'm not exactly clear

about what our plans are.

For this evening?

No.

For us.

Are you not having fun?

Oh... Oh, I am. Oh, I really am.

I mean, it's brilliant fun.

It's just that I'm not exactly

getting any younger.

- You look great.

- And at a certain point, I...

I did expect that we'd move on

from these particular circumstances.

Well, maybe I should have been made aware

of these expectations.

Well, maybe it wasn't clear

to me until the hearing.

You see, a couple of days ago...

I received a certified letter from the bank.

And...

I'm out of tricks.

So if I don't sell my flat and sell it right away,

I can soon expect to be

enjoying breakfast with the bailiff.

Okay, well, sell the flat, pay off what you

owe and come and live here.

- Next chapter in the fairy tale.

- But this isn't a fairy tale.

No.

This is real life, our life.

We can't live here forever.

Listen to me.

Let's find a place of our own together.

With what?

Okay, so if...

I sell my place and everything's paid for,

I'll have enough money to settle,

you know, somewhere.

Maybe a little place outside of London.

So you want me to sell up?

I don't want your money, Donald.

I just want you.

When you told me you had problems,

you didn't say it was this bad.

What are you implying?

That I planned the whole thing?

I'm not saying that, you know. I'm sure

I started out as some noble charity case,

make you feel good with your friends,

and then, who knows,

maybe you saw other possibilities.

It's human nature, right?

You don't really believe that, do you?

I don't know what I believe.

All I know is I'm not going anywhere.

Well, we can't survive here,

not in this, we can't.

It never stops, does it?

The whole world wants me to change

and now you too.

Oh, well, that's just perfect.

Indignation, right?

Your one-size-fits-all answer for everything?

So, I'm supposed to lose everything

to save you, is that it?

No.

You're supposed to gain

everything by having me.

Please, I'm asking you, I'm begging you...

Sweep me off my feet.

Carry me away to a home of our own.

I have a home.

You have a prison here, Donald.

When are you gonna stop

punishing yourself?

I think you should go.

Please don't do this. Please.

I think you should go.

(SNIFFLES)

(SOBS)

MAN:

Now we come to lot 52.

This is a 1934 Barr and Stroud

hunting binoculars.

They're a much-loved family heirloom.

Now, who can start me at 200?

Thank you, madam. 225.

Two hundred and twenty five. 250.

Thank you, sir. 250.

275. Thank you, madam. 275.

(SIGHS)

- Hi.

- Oh.

I think that's everything I owe you.

Oh, I see.

And I have to just forgive you now,

I suppose.

No, you're not supposed to do anything

except take the cheque.

Rory would kill me if he knew

I was even talking to you.

Well, maybe you might wanna apply

some of that money to counselling.

- I'm sorry?

- No, I'm just saying.

It sounds really unhealthy,

living under someone's thumb like that.

- (GASPS)

- (CLOCK CHIMES)

And what's little Emily doing,

just packing up and then running away?

I mean, that's what you're choosing to do?

You could say that or you could also say

that I'm choosing to no longer live

a lie, and you might wanna try it.

Come along, Emily. Let's stop this, please.

I... I miss my friend. So, truce?

We were never really friends,

Fiona, were we?

I mean, I was just your project.

I was your quirky American project. Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

How are you gonna

even manage on your own?

Oh, I have absolutely no idea, none,

but I can't wait to find out.

Yeah.

Will you tell me one thing, Fiona?

Did you know Charles was having an affair?

Right.

Well, I gotta go.

Oh, Emily, Emily.

Yes?

You're a lot braver than me.

Oh...

I doubt it.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Sorry.

- Sorry, I'm late.

- EMILY:
Oh, no. No.

Oh.

Oh, gosh.

- Ready?

- Oh... Uh-huh.

(PAGES TURNING)

(SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(CLUCKING)

ANNOUNCER:
(ON RADIO) The Eiffel Tower

was lit in green last night

to mark the one-year anniversary

of the Paris Climate Accord.

And finally, in other news,

Donald Horner, a homeless millionaire,

otherwise known as Donald Tramp, appears

to have sold his Hampstead Heath property,

a shack worth close to 4,000,000.

It's all about the location, as they say.

Horner reportedly left the country

with a woman 20 years his junior

and headed off to the South of France.

Onto the weather. Look out for...

(CHICKEN CLUCKS)

- (CHICKEN SQUAWKS)

- (LAUGHS)

Do you mind? Do you mind, you?

(BOAT ENGINE REVVING)

(BOAT HORN HONKS)

- (CHICKEN CLUCKS)

- No! Claude, come here.

It's okay. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Claude, please stop.

Stop it, Claude! Stop, stop!

Claude!

Come here. No.

Claude, Claude.

This yours?

Just... Thank you.

Emily. Emily, hold on.

I thought you were in France

with some sort of woman.

Well, I... I might have been, but, then again,

maybe somebody just planted a rumour

to get the media off his trail.

Maybe... Maybe that's what happened.

- So you didn't sell?

- More like a swap.

I gave the land back to the Heath.

They gave me that old barge.

The Heath grows, the people win,

everyone's happy.

Even you.

Even me.

(LAUGHS) Oh, no. Oh, no.

That's your shack, isn't it?

Told you I'd never leave it.

Why are you here?

I forgot to tell you something.

I love you.

Why'd you let me go?

Emily, that's the question I've been

asking myself every day since you left.

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