Hands Across the Table Page #2

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Indoor hopscotch.

Not up to turf and field hopscotch,

but hopscotch nevertheless.

- Get the idea?

- Yes, I get the idea.

- Do you wanna play?

- No, thanks.

Well, every man

to his own sport.

You'll be sorry

when I'm champion!

Savoy-Cariton Barber Shop.

Manicure? Yes.

Right away. Yes, sir.

What name, please?

Oh, yes, sir!

Regi, I'm gonna give you

your Christmas present in May.

What?

The answer to every working girl's prayer

just called up for a manicure.

So get out your hope chest, dearie.

- Who is he?

- Theodore Drew III, baby.

Three's a bad number-

That doesn't mean anything.

- It means he must have had a grandfather.

- Is he rich?

Not only rich,

but young and handsome.

What do you talk about to a guy like that?

What does he like?

- Blondes, probably.

- Well, you can't talk about that.

Then tell him how you just love polo.

That's always safe.

Thanks.

Oh, sorry, this is reserved

for an appointment.

Aw, but I have an-

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

Are you taken?

Uh, for what?

A manicure.

Oh, no.

Are you interested

in numerology?

No.

If you don't mind.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

What's the matter?

Don't you know

who that is?

Sure. That's the future

hopscotch champion,

and I'm not interested in hopscotch.

You poor sap.

That's Theodore Drew III.

That hick?

Hick? Hmm!

Ohh!

Oh, boy, oh, boy,

do I pick 'em!

I'll say you do,

dearie.

Oh, thank you.

Well, what's

the matter, dear?

This is it. That chance in a million.

He's rich. He's so rich, he's crazy.

I'm gonna make a stab at him.

You back me up.

Well, who are you gonna

stab in the back?

Shh! Nobody.

Well-

Hello!

My, but you've grown thin!

M- My appointment was canceled.

What's the matter?

Uh, are you really

Theodore Drew?

So I've always been told.

Why?

You don't look like my idea

of any Theodore Drew III.

I know.

I've had a lot of complaints

about it from my parents.

Mother says I'm a throwback

to my great-grandfather.

He was a pirate.

- Honest?

- No, a pirate.

Oh.

I was in the navy

myself for a while.

You were?

Mm-hmm.

Till Dad yanked me.

He said the thought of

my being a sailor made him seasick.

Blood.

I've been stabbed.

Oh!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Stabbed in the cuticle.

What a way to die.

It-It's never happened before.

Please excuse it.

I'm- I'm terribly sorry.

Perfectly all right.

Oh!

Oh, I'm- I'm-

I'm terribly sorry.

This isn't your first manicure,

by any chance, is it?

No, it isn't.

Well, look, uh,

if you think I ought to have ether,

don't be afraid to say so.

Honestly, I've only

cut someone once before.

Aha.

Then I'm your second manicure.

No, there have been

quite a few before you.

How did you happen

to become a manicurist...

instead of taking up pearl diving?

Oh, I'm not really

interested in manicuring.

So I gathered.

What does fascinate you?

Polo.

I'm simply mad about polo.

Really?

What position do you play?

Oh, I don't play.

I just follow it.

Where?

Oh, all over.

As a matter of fact, I was reading

an article on polo when you came in.

Oh, really?

What a coincidence.

Isn't it thrilling when they come

galloping down the diamond

on those dear little ponies,

with the mallets flying

and the chukkers?

- Oh, I just love the chukkers.

- I play chess myself.

But you play polo,

don't you?

No. Sorry.

Oh, you don't?

Lady, I don't even like horses.

You don't?

Ohh!

Oh! I'm-

I'm terribly sorry.

That's perfectly all right.

I've still got these left.

That's all.

Thank you.

Are you doing

anything tonight?

Would you mind feeding me?

I'm going to have to have a nurse.

I'll have to leave about 12:00.

I'm going out of town.

That's all right.

I'll see you about 7:00.

No dressing.

No 7:
00, dressing-

I mean 7:
00, no dressing.

Oh, Mr. Drew!

Yes?

You don't know

where I live.

The subject

hadn't come up.

493 West 120th.

Miss Regi Allen.

See you at 7:
00.

Seventy-five cents, plea-

Oh! No charge.

No charge?

No charge?

No, no charge. No.

When the gong strikes,

the time will be exactly 8:00.

Now, on with the dance.

Well, maybe he said 8: 00.

00's a much better number

than 7:
00 anyway.

No, he said 7:
00.

I heard him, all right.

Well, 7:
00 and 8:00

sound kind of alike.

You'll spoil your dinner

if you keep on

eatin' them nuts.

I guess there isn't

gonna be any dinner.

Oh, now, maybe

he forgot the address,

and he's walking

up and down the block.

Pinky dear, you go stand

in front of the house so he'll know.

Me?

Mm-hmm.

He wouldn't know me.

He might.

You're always forgetting people.

No, he didn't

forget the address.

He forgot the date.

Well, I guess it was

too good to be true.

Regi, I think you're

well out of it.

Those numbers

didn't add up at all good,

and that three

is dangerous for you.

Oh, that's him!

And it's a four!

What'd I tell you?

Well, tell him to wait.

I'll be right down.

Hello. Regi'll be-

I mean, Miss Allen

will be right down.

All right. Thank you.

Oh! Oh, what a grand

speaking voice!

Do I look all right?

Oh, you look swell.

Oh, my bag and gloves!

Pinky, would you mind-

Don't forget to be refined.

You know the kind of girls

he's used to.

Oh, I'll be a lady, all right.

I've been practicing for this for years.

Au revoir.

See you in the society page-

Oh, my!

- Oh! It's the hiccups.

- It's the nuts.

Oh, people in society

don't act that way.

Maybe you haven't got 'em.

Breathe in and out.

You stupe!

How else can you breathe?

Here. Drink this.

I guess they're gone,

all right. Thanks.

You were sweet to stop in.

Good-bye.

Now, don't worry, dear.

We'll lock up.

Listen, don't forget

to be refined.

Will you have a cocktail?

Yes, I'd love

an old-fashioned.

Two old-fashioneds,

please.

Ah! Young lady,

you stand on the threshold...

of the greatest

experience in life.

Until we entered this restaurant

you had only been existing.

Now you're about to live.

I envy you.

What is it?

Onion soup.

Onion soup?

Oh, don't say it like that.

Say it with reverence.

Please give it the respect it's entitled to.

Onion soup.

No, no, no.

More tenderly.

Put a caress in it.

Onion... soup?

Well, that's better.

Waiter, onion soup.

Bi-A big quantity.

Bring me a big vat.

And the young lady?

Cup? Yes, ma'am.

So that's your gratitude.

No, I-

Why,you have

the hiccups.

Yes. I'm sorry.

Well,you're very lucky.

It so happens that you're

sitting with one of the world's

most eminent hiccup specialists.

Are you-

Are you, honestly?

Well, no. No, I am lying.

I am not one of the greatest.

I am the greatest hiccup destroyer

in the history of medical science.

Right this minute,

young lady, you are cured.

Oh, I'm glad-

I'm glad to hear it.

Now do just as I do.

Take your napkin.

Go on.

Put your napkin on.

Take your glass like this.

That's right.

Now drink out of

the other side of it,

just like I do.

Oh-

Come on.

You gotta get up and do it.

Drink out of

the other side.

And drink it all.

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