Hands Across the Table Page #3

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Drink it all.

Yeah.

Oh, my.

There you are. Cured.

And you won't have hiccups

again for a year.

I'll have to remember that.

Where did you learn it?

Oh, during the war.

The war?

Why, you couldn't

have been in the war.

Oh, I don't mean the Civil War.

I mean the Spanish-American War.

Oh, I see.

Onion soup. My life begins.

Skoal.

No hiccups for a year.

My, how time flies

when you're having fun.

I read an article on hiccups-

It said they can always be avoided,

and that giving in to them

shows a lack of willpower.

No kidding.

Nobody has to have hiccups.

I'm sorry.

It's the rules.

Patrons cannot enter

in those clothes.

Oh, we can't wear

these clothes?

Yes, sir. I'm sure

you will understand.

Surely I understand.

Surely you understand.

Surely I understand.

Mais non, mais non,

madame, monsieur.

C'est impossible. Non.

Okay, Toots, you win.

Hook this for me,

will you?

Voulez-vous

servir ici,Jean.

Will you have

something?

One more?

No, thank you.

Mind if I have one?

Well, a little bit.

You've had

an awful lot already.

See what my home life is?

Nag, nag, nag!

But your wife

is so pretty.

Pretty?

Hmm, well, I suppose so,

in a- in an Oriental sort of way.

You know,

you'd be very beautiful

with blonde hair.

I have blonde hair.

I know it.

I really had a lovely time.

Thank you, lady.

I've never had

a better time in my life.

From the bottom of my heart,

I thank you.

If- If when you get back,

you'd care to call me up,

I could give you my number.

I mean, I- I could write it down for you

in case you've forgotten it.

Yes, do that.

I would love to call you.

I get back on the 11 th.

I can see you the 12th.

Oh, no, no. I'm-

I'm getting married the 12th.

I could see you

the next day though.

No, I suppose

she'd want a honeymoon.

They all want honeymoons.

Slaves of fashion,

that's what we are.

The whole business

is a vicious-

A vicious-

A vicious-

Here we are. Thank you

for a very lovely evening,

Mr. Drew.

There's no need

of your getting up.

Is he bye-bye?

Well, yes.

Do you want me to help you

take him upstairs?

He doesn't live here.

He has to go out of town

and only has 15 minutes.

That's time enough, lady.

No passenger of mine's

missed a train in 10 years.

What train

does he go on?

Why, I don't know.

Mr. Drew? Ted?

Mr. Drew!

He's moved. That's a good sign.

Keep talking to him.

Mr. Drew!

Mr. Drew!

He's got to get

on that train.

Have you any idea

where he's going?

It might strike a chord.

Do you want to go

to Newport? Newport.

This ain't no season

for Newport, lady.

Try somewheres else.

Palm Beach?

Long Island?

Greenwich?

Rye?

Yes, please,

with ginger ale.

Oh, Ted, where

do you want to go?

Wake up!

All aboard!

Wake up!

Wake up!

I am up!

And so's the whole neighborhood!

If you don't get that drunk out of there,

I'll call for the police!

Oh, don't drop him.

Wake up.

Yoo-hoo!

Come on now.

Ow!

Oh, let me sleep, will ya?

But I got to go

to work.

Look, I can't take you home.

Why don't you take a cab like a good fella?

This is my house, I thought.

Peter!

Coming, sir.

Yes, sir?

She's late, isn't she?

Miss Regi? Oh, no, sir.

It's not 11:
30 yet.

You think they're

dirty enough?

That's better, sir.

You don't think

she won't come?

Oh, she'll come, sir.

She said she would.

She's a nice girl,

isn't she, Peter?

She is indeed, sir.

Good morning,

Miss Regi.

Good morning.

You're all right, aren't you?

Does it show as much as that?

How's he today?

Like he always is

on the days you're coming.

Fine.

Hello.

Good morning, Regi.

What's the news?

Oh, nothing much.

Oh,yes.

Up till now,

they've never been able to tell

a male from a female oyster.

Now they know.

Somebody better tell the oysters

right away there's trouble ahead.

There you are, Peter.

Thank you.

Have you been making mud pies?

You'd better call downstairs

for an extra 40 minutes.

Are they dirty?

Oh, no.

What'd you do

last night?

Last night? Oh, nothing.

Did you have

a date?

Well, yes, sort of.

Well, did you or didn't you?

Yes.

- Who was he?

- Theodore Drew.

Who?

Theodore Drew III.

Well, you don't seem

very happy about it.

Wasn't it fun?

That's the trouble.

It was so much fun.

What'd you do?

Oh, we went out to dinner,

and we went to different places

and danced and-

Yes.

He's a crazy

sort of person.

Do you like him, Regi?

Well, I could,

but-

But he's going

to be married.

How did you know?

- If it's been printed, Regi, I've read it.

- Who is she?

She's the daughter

of Amos Snowden.

You know, the one they call

"The Pineapple King."

What's her name?

Vivien. Vivien Snowden.

I see.

I hate pineapples.

Many people must like them.

She's enormously wealthy.

Funny, isn't it?

He's rich and she's richer,

so they're gonna get married.

Why didn't you try to convince him

he ought to marry a poor girl?

I tried to. I certainly tried,

until I found out he was engaged,

and then I even tried

a little after that.

Why, Regi?

Because he was Theodore Drew III,

or because you liked him pretty well?

Because I-

No, I haven't changed.

I still say money's

the most important thing.

But there I go, telling you

the story of my life again.

I'll bet you can't wait

for the next installment.

Oh, come in, come in.

This is Liberty Hall.

Make yourself at home.

Thanks.

Have a chair.

Have two chairs.

It took me all afternoon

to learn that I had to dampen

the trousers.

You're not doing

that iron any good.

The iron isn't doing

my pants any good either.

I didn't think

you'd still be here.

Oh, I couldn't leave.

I didn't have the fare.

What do you mean?

No fare. Fare no.

No fare.

Why didn't you wire home

for the money?

Home? I hope that's

not a hat in that bag.

I'm hungry.

Say it's food.

What's that?

That's a man coming

to take me out.

Do you know him well?

No.

You don't want

to see him, do you?

Well, I-What?

Come on.

Now stay in there.

Go on. Stay in there

and shut the door.

Well-

Come on in.

Come on in.

Sit down.

Make yourself at home.

Well, Mac,

what's on your mind?

Eh?

What's on your mind?

What are you selling?

I'm not selling anything.

I'm waiting for Regi.

Regi?

Yeah, Miss Regi Allen.

Doesn't she live here?

Miss?

Yeah.

Miss Regi Allen?

Yeah.

Oh, palming herself off

as single, is she?

Didn't think I'd be back so soon, eh?

Here, hold this a minute.

Oh, trying to hide, huh?

Get out of there!

Didn't think I'd be back, huh?

I'll show ya! Take that!

How do you like that, huh?

Come on, yell a little.

I'll show ya!

"Miss," huh?

Think you can get away

with that stuff with me, huh?

I'm gonna tell

my mother on you!

Go on.

I'll tell my father on you!

Nobody gets away with that.

I'll show her.

Why, what's the matter?

It isn't your fault.

It could've happened to any guy.

Sure, certainly.

Any other husband

would blow your brains out.

But I got self-control, see?

Thank you.

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