Hands Across the Table Page #5

---

That's our slogan.

You know,

they are kind of like you at that-

tall and blonde.

Holy smoke!

I'm in Bermuda.

Good. I'm in Greenland.

No, don't be superficial.

This is serious.

I'm supposed to be in Bermuda,

and Vivien might telephone.

What'll I do?

Telephone her first.

From New York?

Don't tell her it's from New York.

Tell her it's from Bermuda.

I shall make you

general of all my armies

for that suggestion.

Only you're gonna

tell her I'm gonna

call from Bermuda.

Oh, no, I'm not!

No, come on. You're

gonna be the operator.

Come on.Just this once.

Oh!

Well, what's her number?

Snowden 82793.

Yes?

Yes, this is

the Snowden residence.

Oh, very well.

Bermuda calling Miss Vivien.

Just a moment, please.

Hello?

Hello? Hello, Miss Snowden?

Bermuda calling. Are you ready?

This is Miss Snowden.

Yes, I'm ready.

Well, go ahead with Bermuda.

Hello, Vivien?

Can you hear me?

C- Can you hear me, Vivien?

Hello, Ted. Yes, I can hear

you perfectly. How are you?

And when are you coming back?

Oh, I'm fine, Vivien.

Eh, I'll be back-

Hello? Hello,

Snowden 82793?

Miss Vivien Snowden,

Bermuda calling. Hello?

Hello? Hello, go ahead.

Go ahead with Bermuda-

Operator, I've got Bermuda.

Will you please get off the line?

Hello, hello, Ted?

Can you hear me?

Y- Yes, Vivien,

I can hear you.

Hello? Bermuda.

Oh, operator, I've got Bermuda.

Please get off the wire.

Hello? Hello, Ted?

Can you hear me, Vivien?

- What'd you say, Ted?

- Hello?

Uh, what?

I can't hear you, Vivien.

Can you-

Hello, Miss Snowden. Do you

want the charges reversed?

Oh, operator, go away!

Hello, Miss Snowden?

Bermuda calling-

Oh! I can't stand this.

Hello, Ted? Ted?

Hello? Hello?

Boy, is she mad!

I love my daffodil too!

Hello. Get me the

Bermuda operator, please.

Oh, my jaws hurt.

Yes?

No call from Bermuda?

Why, that's-

From New York?

Are you sure?

Well, thank you.

Oh, wise guy, huh?

What was that?

What's the matter?

Oh, everything's all right.

Hey, Regi,you got

some iodine?

Why? What's the matter?

There's been an accident.

Is there a doctor in the house?

Oh!

Just a minute.

Are you hurt?

Hurt, sire? I'm dead.

What in the world

happened?

I fell off the couch.

Aw, you did?

Oh-ho-ho! Whoa!

It doesn't hurt.

It burns.

I'd fall off every night,

but you'd never hear me.

Do you dream?

No.

You should. You'd meet

a better class of people.

I can't sleep

on a narrow bed.

Aw, you can't?

When I was home, I used to

sleep on a big, double bed.

Well, what would you suggest?

Well, I could suggest something, but-

Well, you won't get mad now, will ya?

- Well, what is it?

- Well-

Will ya tuck me in?

Well, if I wanna get my sleep,

I guess I'd better.

Lie down.

Come on. Lie down.

What's the chair for?

To keep you

from falling out.

You're almost as good at this

as my mother was.

Was there anything else

your mother did?

Mm-hmm.

Before she turned out the lights,

she always used to kiss me good night.

I'm only almost

as good as your mother was.

It's almost five years since

we were on the yacht, sir.

The captain is delighted

you're taking her out again.

You and the captain

shouldn't jump to conclusions, Peter.

I'm not even sure

we are taking it out again.

Wheel me out on the terrace.

I'd like to think it over.

And, of course,

there's always Venice.

I'm sure she'd like Venice.

She's a lovely girl,

Peter.

She is, sir.

She'd make a lovely wife.

She would, sir.

It's only fair to tell you,

Peter, my mind's made up.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask her.

In the morning,

telephone the jeweler and have him

bring all his engagement rings.

Yes, and his wedding rings too.

She might be willing to choose one.

Of course, sir.

It's a fine night, sir.

The morning after

Will you still recall

the thrill we feel

You must have a lot of friends

that could give you a job.

That'd be a fine friend

who'd give you a job.

No friend of mine had better

try anything like that on me.

Hmph.

What's the matter?

You and your ideas.

You wouldn't give an inch,

would you?

Nope. Would you?

Would you?

No. I wouldn't

give an inch.

Okay, then, let's talk

about something else.

All right. What?

Oh, the stars up there,

for instance.

Boy, those really are stars,

aren't they?

Mm, yes, they are.

I've never seen 'em

so close before.

Maybe they never have been.

Have they, Regi?

Not to me.

Oh!

Oh, now, who's that?

Oh, I forgot.

I have a surprise for you.

Oh, stay here, Regi.

That's the nicest present

I could have.

Uh, good evenin',

Miss Regi.

Hello.

I- I sure had a time

gettin' this thing up here.

Eh, Miss Laura,

uh, she said it's gotta

be back in the mornin'.

All right, Snowflake.

Pick it up on your way

to work tomorrow.

Yes'm.

Oh, wait a minute!

There.

Thank you, ma'am,

Miss Regi.

Oh, that's all right.

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you, ma'am.

- Hey, what's that thing? A lighthouse?

- No.

- Take your shirt off.

You've got to get sunburned.

- Who me?

Well, who went

to Bermuda? Me?

Aw!

What do I have to do that for?

So you won't go back

looking like a ghost.

That's nice talk.

Take your shirt off.

I'm tired. I want to get to bed.

Is it gonna hurt?

It'll probably skin you.

Well, you have to know how

to operate those machines.

There's nothing to it.

They told me at the shop

50 minutes on each side.

Fifty minutes?

Or was it 15?

Slight difference of 35 minutes

naturally wouldn't make

any difference to you, would it?

Well,just stay under it

until you're done.

No. Nothin' doin'.

Are you gonna get undressed,

or do I have to undress you?

All right. All right.

Come on! I've never

seen anything like it.

Man always afraid

of getting hurt.

Well, come on. Come on.

This too?

Well, you can't sunburn

through that.

I could tell her I wore

a swimming shirt.

You fool.

Now get underneath it.

Now lie down.

I think that's close enough.

Oh, stop squawking.

There.

Get your feet up!

Is it warm?

Do you think

I'll burn or freckle?

I don't know your habits.

You should.

What time does your boat

get in tomorrow?

I don't know.

Don't you think you'd better

do something about looking it up?

Where's the paper?

Oh, Whitey's sitting on it.

That shows you what he thinks

about the whole business.

He's always been

something of a critic.

Excuse me, dear.

I wanna look up

the shipping news.

Hey, don't you think

I've had enough of this sun?

After all, I'm just supposed

to be a visitor in Bermuda,

not a native West Indian.

Would you

like a drink of water?

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Please.

Turn over.

Thanks. You know, you'll

make some guy a darn good wife.

It's funny how

people thought we were married.

Yeah. Funny, isn't it?

Well, I don't know.

It isn't so funny at that.

I've heard of funnier things.

I'll bet we'd make a nice couple.

Have you forgotten we're heels?

You haven't lost sight

of your plans, have you?

Have you?

Certainly not.

Well, neither have I.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes