Handsome Harry

- LUTHER, YOU PIRATE.

- THERE HE IS.

- HARRY, DID YOU CATCH ANYTHING

THIS WEEKEND?

- YEAH, I CAUGHT HELL.

- OH.

- HOW ARE YOU, PETE?

- HARRY, I'M GONNA NEED

SOME DEER MEAT, BUDDY.

- NO PROBLEM.

GOT A FREEZER FULL.

- MORNING, HARRY.

- YOU EVER GONNA FIX

THAT KAYAK OF YOURS, HANK?

- NICE TO HAVE A DREAM.

- YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.

- WAS OUT DANCING TILL DAWN.

- IT'S NOT MUCH FUN

DANCING BY YOURSELF.

YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME.

- [chuckles]

- DID YOUR SON REMEMBER?

- NO.

I NEVER REMEMBERED

MY DAD'S BIRTHDAY EITHER.

- OH, I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.

HEY.

THERE'S A RUMOR

YOU'RE SELLING THE BUSINESS.

I NEVER PLANNED ON

DYING IN THE SADDLE.

BESIDES, MURIEL,

I'M A YOUNG MAN.

I'M A TIGER.

- [chuckles]

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

MY DAD RETIRED,

WENT TO LIVE IN FLORIDA,

DIED OF CANCER IN TEN MONTHS.

- WELL, I WON'T DO ANYTHING

PRECIPITOUS.

- BIG WORD

FOR SO EARLY IN THE MORNING.

MORNING, HARRY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I KNOW IT'S ON THE 27TH,

BUT I WAS OUT OF TOWN YESTERDAY.

- HE REMEMBERS. MY SON DIDN'T.

- I KNOW THE BIRTHDAYS

OF ALL MY CLIENTS.

DON'T TRY TO.

IT JUST STICKS IN MY HEAD.

OKAY, HERE'S THOSE FIGURES

YOU WANTED, HARRY.

THAT IS A SWEET DEAL FOR PAULEY.

YOU COULD ASK FOR MORE.

- I'M GONNA CHEW ON I A LITTLE BIT MORE, SAM.

MURIEL SAYS I'M GONNA DIE OF

CANCER TEN MONTHS AFTER I SELL.

- YOU KNOW, HARRY, ON AVERAGE,

MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER

THAN SINGLE MEN.

IT'S A FACT.

- THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PROPOSAL,

DOESN'T IT, SAM?

- IT'S NOT.

IT'S JUST A FACT.

- I HEARD YOU CAN GE THE SAME BENEFITS WITH A CAT.

- SO GET A CAT.

- OR I COULD MOVE TO COSTA RICA,

GET MYSELF A BEAUTIFUL SENORITA,

LIVE THE LIFE OF RILEY

DOWN THERE.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,

"COSTA RICA?"

YOU CAN'T EVEN SPEAK SPANISH.

- AND WHERE WOULD I FIND

ANOTHER LEAD SINGER?

DON'T FORGET ABOUT REHEARSAL

ON WEDNESDAY.

- I'LL BE THERE.

WHAT?

- HOW ABOUT I COME OVER TONIGH

AND GIVE YOU A NICE

BIRTHDAY BLOW JOB?

IT'S A JOKE, HARRY.

- WHAT'D HE SAY, MURIEL?

- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, HANK.

- MORNING, BOSS.

- ANYBODY CALL?

- UH, DOUG FENTON.

SAID HE WANTED AN ESTIMATE

ON A NEW HOUSE.

I TOLD HIM:

YOU'D GET BACK TO HIM.

- YOU TAKE CARE OF IT.

- MAKE THE CALL?

- MAKE THE ESTIMATE.

- YOU WANT ME

TO MAKE THE ESTIMATE?

- WHAT'D I JUST SAY?

- IT'S A HUGE JOB.

- THEN YOU BETTER NO F*** IT UP.

I'LL GO TO MRS. SCHROEDER'S,

PROBABLY NOTHING

BUT ANOTHER LIGHTBULB.

THEN I'LL HEAD OU TO DAN PARKER'S PLACE.

- WHAT IF HE ASKS ME WHY

YOU'RE NOT MAKING THE ESTIMATE?

- TELL HIM

I DON'T DO ESTIMATES ANYMORE.

TAKE MY CHEROKEE.

- OH, HEY.

UH...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

RIGHT?

- IT WAS YESTERDAY.

MRS. SCHROEDER?

- YES?

- IS THAT FRESH BANANA BREAD

I'M SMELLING?

- OH, THERE'S NO SURPRISING YOU,

HARRY SWEENEY.

- ONLY WHEN IT COMES TO FOOD,

ESPECIALLY FRESH BANANA BREAD

WITH COFFEE WITH CHICORY.

- DID YOU FIND OU WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS?

- OH, YEAH,

YOU HAD A COUPLE OF LOOSE WIRES,

BUT I TAPED IT UP REAL GOOD.

- WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.

- I SKIPPED MY BREAKFAS ON PURPOSE.

I GOT MY TICKETS

FOR THE CONCERT,

AND I'M SITTING RIGHT UP FRONT.

- WELL, YOU'RE MY INSPIRATION.

- SOMETIMES YOU LAY IT ON

PRETTY THICK, HARRY SWEENEY.

- I COULD ALWAYS

MAKE MRS. WELLS MY INSPIRATION.

DON'T YOU DARE.

- NO?

- NO!

- OH, MY GOD, YOU MADE IT!

IT'S SO GREAT TO SEE YOU, SON.

- LISTEN, I WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE

ON YOUR BIRTHDAY,

BUT THIS PIECE OF JUNK

BLEW A HEAD GASKE

ON THE JERSEY TURNPIKE.

- YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME.

- I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.

- WELL, YOU DID.

YOU GOT ME GOOD.

YOU BEEN WORKING OUT?

- TRYING TO.

- YOU LOOK GOOD.

YOU HUNGRY?

- I WANT TO TAKE YOU OU TO DINNER.

EARLY DINNER.

- YOU KNOW,

UH, IT'S KIND OF HARD

TO FIND A GOOD RESTAURAN AROUND HERE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL THROW A COUPLE OF STEAKS

ON THE GRILL.

HOW'D THAT BE, HUH?

HUH? HUH?

- THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

THAT'D BE GREAT.

- OKAY.

COME ON IN.

HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY?

- WELL, I HAVE TO GET BACK

TO WORK ON MONDAY.

I LOST TWO DAYS AND 700 BUCKS

TRYING TO GET HERE.

- OH, MY GOD.

- DO YOU MISS HOME?

- SOMETIMES.

HELLO.

- HEY, HARRY SWEENEY?

- YEAH.

- IT'S ME, KELLY.

- WHO?

- THOMAS KELLY.

ELECTRICIAN'S MATE, THIRD CLASS,

USS FORRESTAL.

- JESUS CHRIST.

HOW'D YOU FIND ME?

- THAT'S NICE.

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT TO SAY

AFTER 32 YEARS,

YOU SON OF A B*TCH?

- IT'S JUS SUCH A DAMN SURPRISE.

HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M DYING.

I GOT A COUPLE DAYS, MAYBE.

- OH, SH*T, KELLY.

YEAH.

WELL...

LISTEN.

DO YOU REMEMBER THE NIGH

WE ALMOST...KILLED KAGAN?

I KNOW I'M GOING TO HELL FOR IT.

- WHEN DID YOU GET RELIGION?

- F*** YOU.

I'M DYING.

AND I WANT YOU:

TO COME AND SEE ME.

DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME,

SWEENEY.

- LOOK.

I'LL BE DYING TOO.

WE ALL WILL.

- I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO KAGAN.

I NEED TO HAVE HIM FORGIVE ME.

- WELL, IF YOU CAN FIND ME,

YOU CAN FIND HIM.

- I DID.

HE'S IN MIAMI.

I CALLED HIM YESTERDAY,

BUT HE WOULDN'T TALK TO ME.

- WELL,

THAT'S THE END OF IT THEN.

- KELLY, WE WERE KIDS.

WE ALL SUFFERED FOR I IN OUR OWN WAY,

SO WHY DON'T YOU

JUST FORGIVE YOURSELF

AND DIE IN PEACE

AND DON'T BE SUCH A P*SSY?

WE BECAME MEN TOGETHER.

THAT MUST COUNT FOR SOMETHING.

- THAT COUNTS FOR A LOT.

- YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

WHO CAN HELP ME NOW.

- WHERE ARE YOU?

- I'M IN THE F***ING

V.A. HOSPITAL OUTSIDE PHILLY.

- MY SON JUST DROVE DOWN

ALL THE WAY FROM CHICAGO

FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

HE'S ONLY HERE

FOR THE GODDAMN WEEKEND.

- I AIN'T GONNA MAKE I THROUGH THE WEEKEND.

I NEED TO SEE YOU, PLEASE.

- I'M GONNA HANG UP, KELLY.

- BLAST FROM THE PAST?

- YEAH.

OLD NAVY BUDDY.

HE'S DYING.

- YOU NEVER TALK TO ME

ABOUT THE NAVY.

- NOTHING MUCH TO TALK ABOUT.

SAW A LOT OF WATER.

I'VE PASSED MORE BUOYS

THAN YOU HAVE TELEPHONE POLES.

YOU WANT A BEER OR SOME COFFEE?

- I'M GOOD.

HEY, LISTEN.

SO UM...

I THOUGH WE COULD GO FISHING TOMORROW.

DAD.

- SH*T.

LOOK, BOBBY,

I GOT TO GO SEE THIS GUY.

I OWE HIM THAT MUCH.

I'LL GET BACK HERE

TOMORROW NIGHT.

- WELL, I NEED TO LEAVE

THE NEXT MORNING.

- THE GUY WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

LET ME, UH...PAY FOR THE CAR.

HUH?

HI, ROOM 2531, PLEASE?

HI, IT'S ME, TOMMY.

- OH, SH*T.

THIS IS HARRY.

HARRY SWEENEY.

THANKS FOR COMING.

ALL RIGHT,

LET ME TALK TO HARRY ALONE.

JANE.

HANDSOME HARRY.

YOU GOT OLD.

THAT'S RIGHT.

- WELL, I STILL REMEMBER

WHEN YOU LOST YOUR CHERRY

THAT NIGHT IN CIUDAD TRUJILLO

TO THE BEST-LOOKING WHORE

I'VE EVER SEEN.

- YEAH, WELL,

YOURS WASN'T SO BAD EITHER.

- THAT'S TRUE.

YOU REMEMBER THE NIGH

KAGAN TOOK US TO THE FIVE SPOT?

AND YOU TWO BUSTED MY BALLS

'CAUSE I NEVER

HEARD JAZZ BEFORE.

- YEAH.

- I TELL YOU, THAT WAS THE MOS BEAUTIFUL F***ING SOUND

I EVER HEARD.

IN FACT,

THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS

I'VE EVER HAD IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE

MISERABLE LIFE.

I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH, HARRY.

I'M NOT EVEN THAT SORRY

TO SEE IT END.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL.

- YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELL.

- YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS ME

WHO F***ED UP KAGAN SO BAD.

- ALL FIVE OF US DID THAT.

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