Hanging Up Page #2

this fifth anniversary edition.

I know it's a little self-indulgent.

My fifth anniversary.

Between you and me, I can't believe

my magazine has lasted this long.

Get this.

I'm planning this event...

...Los Angeles Women in Commerce,

their annual party.

I landed it.

It'll put my company on the map.

That is so sweet,

yourlittle company.

lfyou're in business,

and you sort ofare...

...you should shop

at Barneys or Saks.

Oh, God! I'm sorry!

I'm so sor...

Are you all right?

Why would you do that?

- What are you thinking about?

- I'm so sorry!

My lights are just falling off!

- You see what you did?

- I can see that.

I'm Eve Marks.

Hello. I'm so sorry.

Dr. Kunundar.

You're not driving well.

Thank you for not screaming.

It's just that I was so distracted.

I just put my father

in the hospital. I'm sorry.

I hope it's not serious.

You can't drive like...

I have my card somewhere.

- Look at this.

- Wait a minute.

There you go.

- "No Surprises."

- I'm a party planner.

We do special events, and everything

goes smoothly. No surprises.

- I see.

- I'm sorry.

This actually isn't

my first accident this year.

If my insurance company

hears about it...

...my rates will skyrocket.

They'll just go up.

I got the word.

Do you think that we could

settle this privately?

I can't...

I'll ask your mother.

All right, give me that, please.

Why would you talk to my mother?

I don't even speak to my mother.

That's very sad for you.

You can't go through life

without your mother.

You'll get a call.

Her name is Ogmed Kunundar.

Oh, your mother.

She's in Burbank, and

she'll know if this is all right.

I'm late.

My son's getting home any minute.

And I'm so sorry. I am so sorry!

This is fate. Or an accident.

Oh, it's an accident.

Maybe you're gonna be surprised.

I hope not.

So sorry.

I can't rely on you.

What good is a marriage...

...when I can't even trust that...

...you'll be on time

for one stupid meeting!

Look at me, Mom. Look at me!

Look at me, Mom, look at me!

Look at me, Mom.

Eve, not now!

Forget it!

I can't take it anymore!

What are you doing?

Dad! Daddy!

That's my Evie.

That's my cookie.

"It's not so bad"?

- It's really not that bad.

- Compared to a pileup, it's not bad.

The wheels and headlights are fine.

It wouldn't be an accident

without damage, I suppose.

I can just get in the other side.

Just like that. I can just...

I don't even think we have to fix it.

Because look at me. I'm in.

So there was no whiplash, and you

still have your teeth and your back...

No, I'm fine, and he just had

headlight damage and grill.

Mom, how many crackups

is that this year?

That's three now.

What is that?

It's my new laugh. Do you like it?

Lovely.

Lovely!

- Were you on the phone?

- No.

You were on the phone.

Let's call our legal representation.

Do you think

they'll cancel my insurance?

- I don't mind getting into that side.

- It's fine.

That side looks as good as new.

I think I've been

understanding about this.

I have to go play with my Legos.

I hope I can't go to jail for

suggesting that we settle privately.

Did Kim messenger the...?

Yeah. Good. The Nixon Library stuff.

That's my fourth car accident

this year.

Jesse, you can't leave that stuff

just hanging around like that.

You know, he reminded me of Nixon.

Who?

My father. You know, the same jowl...

...the same shlumpy little shoulders

like that.

Wait a minute. Now, why am I here?

Tea?

He can't walk, Joe.

He's dead!

- Hello?

- Georgia's really something, isn't she?

- Yes, Dad, she certainly is.

- Little Georgie.

Dad.

So, not dead.

Oh, not funny.

That is so not funny. God!

You just have no compassion for him.

You know why, don't you?

Or have you forgotten? It happened

right here. I remember.

He's dying, Joe.

Three guesses who that is.

He's dead.

- Honey!

- Where is it?

Honey, what are you doing?

Hello?

Who is it?

- Oh, God, Maddy, is he dead?

- Dead?

Dad.

Oh, come on, get serious.

There's nothing wrong with Dad.

No.

- Buck can't walk.

- What?

Where are you?

I'm back. What am I gonna do?

He's not dead.

Just take him to the hospital.

- Who?

- The boyfriend.

How?

In an ambulance. My God, Maddy.

My God, he just moved his foot.

He just moved his foot!

Oh, Buck, baby.

Sweetie, that's so good.

I think I can get him to the car.

She hung up.

I see that.

- Hello?

- This is Ogmed Kunundar, Omar's mother.

My son's lights are falling off.

And his radiator exploded.

His radiator?

Joe, he has ice cream in his bowl over

there. What's he doing with ice cream?

Yeah, now, are you sure?

Omar does not make a mistake.

He is a genius. He can fix

your ovaries with a laser.

I'm sure that he can.

What I'm suggesting about

the car insurance is legal.

Omarsays you have a problem

with your father.

Yes, my father.

Yes, he's been in the hospital

for a week. It's very sad.

We're getting the results today.

And you do not see yourmother?

I'm sorry, will you

excuse me a second?

Hello? Dad, I'm on the other line.

I'll call you back.

- There's no room service.

- You're in the hospital.

I want Chinese. Shrimp!

Okay, fine, fine, fine.

Hello?

No!

How much does she claim

the radiator will cost?

I don't know.

I lost her. Dad called.

And now I bet she nails us

with a gigantic bill.

And what does he want?

Chinese food! He wants Chinese food.

Now, how is it that a man who can

barely recognize his own pants...

...can remember his daughter's

phone number?

That's one of life's great mysteries.

- You really shouldn't talk to him.

- I have to.

Why?

I don't know.

Oh, Joe, don't go. Don't go.

- I have to.

- I hate it when you go.

I do interviews every three weeks.

I feel like that actress in those

'50s movies; "Don't go, don't go."

But the husband goes,

and the plane crashes.

Only she doesn't know it. She's busy

preparing that reunion supper...

...or playing with her toddlers.

Until the phone rings.

My plane is not going to crash.

Are you listening?

Listen, listen, listen!

My plane is not going to crash.

Okay, I have to pack now.

- What is her name?

- I don't know. Janet Leigh?

Blond. No. A little bit bland?

God, I can't remember.

There's gonna be a TV show called

Name That Person You Already Know.

Teresa Wright?

No. Not Teresa Wright. Sh*t!

I must say I prefera hamburger,

whetherit's in 21 in New York City...

I must say I prefera hamburger,

whetherit's in 21 in New York City...

...or Carl's Jr. in Orange County.

There's nothing better...

...than a charcoal-broiled hamburger.

That's amazzing, Madge.

Really, it's fantastic.

I knew you'd think so.

You can ask him anything.

Entertainers.

Elvis.

People say that because

he had used drugs...

...that therefore he could not

be a good example.

They overlook the fact that

he never used illegal drugs.

It was always drugs prescribed

by his physician.

- Would you like to step this way?

- Certainly.

Come on, Kim.

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