Hangover Part 2, The

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You've reached Dr Stuart Price.

The office will be closed until the 24th.

If this is an emergency, please try...

Hi. This is Dr. Stu Price.

I'm getting married, so I'll be out

of the country for two weeks.

I'm not sure if I'll have cell service.

If this is a dental emergency, plea...

Nothing.

Daddy, please. You're not helping.

Not the eyes of a man.

The eyes of a coward.

Excuse me.

--Phil.

I'm sorry.

Where the hell are you?

It happened again.

Don't say that.

Please.

No, this time we really f***ed up.

Seriously, what is wrong with you three?

So much, Trace,

I don't even know where to begin.

TRACY:

Oh, God. How bad?

Like no wedding bad?

Yeah.

Little worse than that.

Mm-hm.

You really need to floss more.

F*** that. That's why I come here.

Then you should come more than

once every two years.

- So you could bleed me of all my money?

- I never charge you a dime, Phil.

- Hey, how do I work the nitrous?

- Uh, you don't, actually.

Come on. Just one hit.

Fillings look pretty good.

Any other problems?

Yeah, actually.

You're getting married in Thailand.

For starters, that's flights for me and Steph.

That's two grand right there.

My mother-in-law's watching the kids.

Now she's got this whole new thing

to hold over my head.

Plus it takes five days to get there.

It's a 16-hour flight.

And it's beautiful when you get there.

- Whatever. it's a hassle.

- It is kind of far.

Lauren's been there a week

and she's still jet-lagged.

It's where her parents are from.

It means a lot.

Who gives a sh*t about her parents?

Her dad hates you.

He doesn't hate me.

He's just never spoken to me.

I think it's a cultural thing.

Why can't you get married in Vegas

like last time? So much easier.

Why can't you just be excited for me?

This is my wedding.

You're really happy, huh?

I really am.

All right. I'm happy too.

Thank you.

It's gonna be fun.

Phil? Put the prescription pad back.

Thank you.

You know that's a felony, right?

F*** you, man.

- Was this right up against your scrotum?

- Yep.

TRACY:
Oh, my God. I just realized.

DOUG:
What?

TRACY:

I forgot to renew my passport.

Oh, no.

Good thing I did it last week.

It's in the kitchen drawer.

You're the best.

Hey, we're a team.

No, I mean, you are a good guy.

Like, a really good guy.

Thank you.

So I know you're not gonna get mad.

Mad? What...? Mad at what?

Alan found out that we're going to Thailand

for Stu's wedding.

So?

So he's heartbroken, Doug.

You guys are like his family.

No, your family is like his family.

All Alan talks about is the three of you.

And that weekend.

Wait. Is he the one that keeps calling

and hanging up?

He does that when he's upset. He doesn't

understand why he's not invited.

Could you just run it by Stu?

Just run it by him.

For me?

STU:

No f***ing way.

Absolutely not.

Come on, Stu. it's killing him.

I don't care.

Honestly, the two of you

were barely invited.

PHIL:
Oh.

- All right. I get it. I really do.

Just, you know what? Alan considers you

to be one of his best friends.

I consider Alan to be insane.

PHIL:

Stu, throw him a bone.

His dad pays

for everything he eats and breaks.

We should squeeze the old man

to cover the bachelor party.

That's good.

I'm glad you brought that up,

because this is the bachelor party.

- What?

- What are you talking about?

Yeah. it's my bachelor brunch.

Go crazy. Get some chocolate-chip

pancakes, a lap dance from the waitress.

That's bullshit. Ha, ha. You can't just

skip out of a bachelor party, Stu.

You see that?

That's orange juice with a napkin on top.

Do you know why?

So nobody roofies me.

Well, I refuse to eat f***ing cantaloupe

at a bachelor party.

Come on.

Don't you think you're overreacting?

No, I don't.

I'm still putting the broken pieces

of my psyche back together.

And you know what the glue is?

Lauren. And I'm not doing anything

to screw that up.

- You wouldn't be with her if it wasn't for us.

- Oh, this'll be good.

Stu, think about it.

You ended up ditching Melissa.

Two years later,

you met your true soul mate.

You take Vegas out of that equation,

you would have married a c*nt.

It's okay. I'm allowed to say it.

It's a bachelor party.

Drink up, everybody.

Wait, there's no alcohol.

I forgot, we're at a f***ing IHOP.

Well, it's my decision and it's final,

so how about a toast?

- This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.

- Come on, Phil. Where you going?

I just don't get it.

He's getting married in Thailand.

That's great for him, but what about us?

You're just selfish.

Come on, sweetheart.

Shame on you.

Don't worry, Stu.

I will stand up for you no matter what.

Thank you.

But you gotta help me out

with this Alan thing.

SID:
Guys, I can't tell you

how much this means.

Alan's been waiting for the invite

ever since he got wind of the wedding.

I'm sure he has.

Yeah, he's been standing outside

by the mailbox every day.

- Wow, that's rough.

- Yeah. I, uh ...

I'm not quite sure he ever left Vegas,

you know? He really needs this.

[KNOCKS ON Doom

ALAN:

What?

Sweetie, it's Pa Pa. You have visitors.

Go in slowly,

give him a chance to acclimate.

DOUG:

Hey, Alan.

Hey, guys.

- Hey, Phil.

- Hey, bud.

Uh... Uh, you guys wanna come in?

- Sure.

- Yeah, absolutely.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hey.

- Hey, Stu.

- Okay. See you on the court in half...

Pretty cool room, Alan.

Oh, thanks, Phil. My dad pays my rent.

Alan, what the f***?

We were supposed to delete these.

You made a promise.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell?

I'm not cool with this at all.

You can't have these.

PHIL:
Ha, ha.

- Chillax, Stu. Nobody ever comes in here.

Total violation of trust.

Mother, I'm done with my lunch.

It's just sitting here.

Sorry, honey. I 'll be right up.

ALAN:
Can't believe you stopped by.

This is cool.

Wait a second. AI, is that Mr. Chow?

Yeah. We still keep in touch.

Stu.

- The guy that kidnapped us?

- He didn't kidnap us.

He kidnapped Black Doug. Remember?

It was a whole big misunderstanding.

He's actually quite charming.

- Alan, he's a criminal.

- Excuse me, boys.

- Hi, Linda.

LINDA:
Hi, Dougie.

I guess we don't do dessert any more.

I didn't get that memo.

Well, I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.

Would a cupcake kill you?

- I don't think this was a good idea.

- Uh, Alan, we have a little surprise for you.

Stu would like to invite you

to his wedding.

Well, only if you're not busy.

Stu.

Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers

are in town.

No. They're in Raleigh-Durham

that weekend.

STU:

Mm.

Are you really being serious, Stu?

You're inviting me?

Yeah, why not? Could be fun, right?

- Phil, are you going?

- Of course.

Then it will be fun.

STU:
Ah!

- Whoa, what the f*** are you doing, man?

It's my immunizations.

This is the last day I can do it.

That's supposed to be done

by a registered nurse.

I am a nurse. I'm just not registered.

Oh, Stu, look at this.

I bought this because I thought of you.

STU:
Hey, there he is.

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