Hannah Montana: Keeping It Real Page #8

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(RlCO GASPS)

Curse this Ric-aroma!

You owe me!

(LlLLY SCREAMS)

(THUDS)

That ought to get her done.

Hey, can we get some nachos?

(SNORTS)

No problem.

(SNEEZES)

On second thought, never mind.

Operation Rico Sicko complete-o.

l can't get the Rico taste off my mouth.

l'm gonna have to boil my lips.

Excuse me, can l get a bigger spoon?

That's Hannah Montana.

l know. She's my date.

Yeah, right.

-Hi.

-Hi.

(TlTTERlNG) Hi.

You said that already.

l don't care. l think it's cute.

You think that's cute,

say hello to drop dead gorgeous.

(SNEEZES)

MlLEY:
Ew!

So, l heard you went to school

in Arizona. How was that?

Not bad. l played a lot of basketball.

You know, it was so hot,

it was hard to get my head in the game.

My ears are stuffed.

What'd you say?

Head in the game. Head in the game.

-You know, get my head in the game.

-l get it.

Now, make yourself useful,

poodle dude.

l want a picture of my first date

with my future wife.

(RlCO SlGHS)

Smile pretty.

This could be our first Christmas card.

Yeah. ''Happy Holidays.

Love, beauty and the beast.''

You so get me.

(RlCO GROWLS)

(SNEEZES)

You know, if you're not feeling well,

you could always go home and rest.

Good idea. Let's go, love bunny.

You can have my salad.

l'm taking the main course to go.

Slow down, little Romeo.

We're all on this date together.

lf you don't feel good,

you could go home

and we could have dinner another time.

You know a year, two, the afterlife.

l'm very flexible.

Forget it.

Fine.

-We'll just... We'll just try to ignore him.

-Okay.

(RlCO GRUNTlNG)

How would you like

your shrimp prepared?

Hacked into tiny little pieces.

Hands off the fancy cheese.

l raised you better than this.

You didn't raise me at all.

Don't sass your mama, boy.

Roxy, you're not my ''mama!''

l'm sorry.

lt's just that the reunion is tonight,

and Clarice and...

(CAR DOOR SLAMS)

They're here!

Ow!

Robby Ray Stewart, you take your feet

off my nice coffee table.

(DOORBELL RlNGS)

Yes, dear.

Clarice!

Roxy, this is my husband, Edward.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, Eddie.

And this is my man, Robby Ray.

Now, l know what you're thinking,

l drilled for good-looking

and hit a gusher.

Yeow!

-What a beautiful view you have.

-Thank you.

Cost us a boatload,

but my Robby-cakes

just loves to spoil me.

Ah, the things we do for our ladies.

You have no idea, Eddie.

Hey, Mom, have you seen

my college-level physics books, Mom?

l didn't know we had company, Mom.

Edward, this is my stepson, Jackson.

We have a son about your age.

He's a genius with a violin.

My Jackson is a genius, too.

On the piano.

-l am?

-He is?

Of course he is.

He's a real bad mamma jamma.

Yeah.

We'd love to hear you play something.

-No, you wouldn't.

-No, you wouldn't.

(UPBEAT PIANO PIECE PLAYING)

(CD SKlPPlNG)

l like to add a little hip-hop flair.

Yeah, he gets that from me.

(PLAYING FINALE)

(MUSlC STOPS)

(SlGHlNG) We're very proud.

Jazz hands.

(GROANS)

(BURPS)

(BOTH GROAN lN DlSGUST)

Seriously, maybe you should go home.

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you,

you walking pom-pom?

Hey, Rico, are you not feeling good?

That's too bad because

this food is really good. See?

Oh, no. Oh, no!

Hannah! Come on,

he's driving me crazy, too,

but the poor kid is sick.

And he's ruining our date.

Don't you see?

He's not mean because he's sick.

He's mean because he's evil!

How do you know he's evil?

You just met him.

l can read people. lt's a gift.

See, you're hot and he's...

(HlSSlNG)

(SCREAMS)

Yes! l should have thought of that

an hour ago.

l paid 20 grand for this?

That's it. l'm out of here.

Wait, Johnny.

Johnny, where are you going?

As far away from you as l can get.

l thought you'd be cool

and down-to-earth, like your songs.

Nobody's Perfect. You ain't even close.

Johnny! Come back!

Way to get rid of the third wheel.

Ew!

(CLARlCE EXCLAlMS)

Oh, look, Robby Ray,

can you believe that that's the girl

you fell in love with?

l still can't believe it.

Every day with this beautiful woman

feels like the first.

l know exactly what you mean, Edward.

Look. Roberta Franklin.

You know, l hear she's still single,

packing groceries in a supermarket.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

She'll probably never show up

this evening.

Well, you don't know.

l mean, she may not be a millionaire

with a gorgeous husband,

but she may be perfectly happy

with her life.

Oh, please, how could anybody

be happy with a life like that?

lt's possible.

l mean, you can get through a lot

if you're surrounded by people

who love you.

Well, l can tell you one thing,

if l see her tonight,

l'm not speaking to her.

l will. ln fact, l'll sit with her.

lt turns out l have more in common

with her than l do with you.

What's gotten into you?

Pride.

Pride in myself and who l really am.

Now l'm gonna say something

l should've said

the minute that you came in here.

-What?

-Get out of my house!

Go on, get!

Way to go, Clarice.

This is why we don't have any friends.

Don't worry.

l'll tell her the truth at the reunion.

lf l even speak to her.

And thanks, Robby.

Thank you for everything.

(CHUCKLES) Okay, honeymoon's over.

Just one more second, snuggle-puss.

l am so glad l'm done with that flu.

Yeah, the only thing good about getting

sick is you feel so great when it's over.

(MlLEY SNEEZES)

(NASALLY) lf l live that long.

l feel awful.

-Poor Miley.

-Poor both of me.

Johnny barely noticed Miley

and now he hates

Hannah.

This might not make you feel better,

but sometimes things happen

for a reason.

Maybe it just wasn't meant to be

with you and Johnny.

Yeah. You're right.

That didn't make me feel any better.

You know, Miley, it's true.

l mean, if l've learned anything

in my past with the ladies, it's...

Don't wear your

''l'm a chick magnet'' T-shirt?

That was one time, Lilly.

Anyways, l was gonna say,

if the universe doesn't want you

and Johnny together,

-there's nothing you can do about it.

-Yeah.

Ooh! And if the universe wants

to change its mind, then...

-How do l look?

-A little green.

lt's a cute green.

lt's a really cute green.

Miley? Miley Stewart?

Hi.

l haven't seen you in, like, two years.

-You look great.

-Thanks. So do you.

l heard you had a date

with Hannah Montana.

Yeah, what a disaster that was.

Sorry, that's too bad.

She wasn't for me anyway.

l like girls who are more down-to-earth.

Kind of like l remember you were.

Really?

-Yeah, really.

-l...

(RETCHlNG)

And the universe has spoken.

(MlLEY RETCHlNG)

And it had shrimp last night.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(PLAYING CLASSICAL PIANO)

Who you trying to kid, boy?

That's right, Daddy. l'm deep.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

l just wanted you to love me.

Wookie - Free4vn.org

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