Happiness Page #11

KRISTINA grabs a napkin to cry into. Pause.

The WAITRESS comes by.

WAITRESS:

All finished?

ALLEN:

Yeah.

KRISTINA:

I guess so.

WAITRESS:

Would you like to see a dessert menu?

KRISTINA:

What kind of ice cream do you have?

WAITRESS:

Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.

KRISTINA:

I'll just have a plain chocolate fudge

sundae with strawberry ice cream.

WAITRESS:

And you, Sir?

ALLEN:

Just the check, please.

The WAITRESS smiles and leaves.

KRISTINA:

So anyway, everything suddenly got

quiet and I thought, well, at least

the worst is over.

106.INT. KRISTINA'S PLACE - NIGHT.106.

PEDRO lies on top of KRISTINA.

PEDRO:

How do you feel now?

KRISTINA:

Kiss me again.

KRISTINA (V.O.)

Well, of course, that was just an act.

I let him kiss me one last time, and then�

BACK TO ALLEN AND KRISTINA in the restaurant.

KRISTINA:

�Grabbed hold of his neck and�

twisted it�backwards.

The WAITRESS comes by with the dessert.

WAITRESS:

Here you are.

KRISTINA:

Thank you.

(while eating her sandae)

Anyway, so then I had to cut up

his body, plastic bag all the parts�

I've been throwing it out gradually

ever since. There's still a little

left in my freezer.

Pause.

ALLEN:

So you did cut off his�

KRISTINA:

No, I left it attached. I didn't

want to have to touch it again.

(a beat.)

Oh, I feel so terrible. You must

think I'm a monster. But what else

could I have done?� Anyway, I couldn't

help myself. I hate�sex. I'm sorry,

but just the idea of it�of someone

all over�inside�me�I know it's not

right, but� Can we still be�friends?

ALLEN:

Um� I guess� Yeah� I mean, we all

have our�you know�pluses and minuses�

Pause.

KRISTINA:

It was a crime of passion.

(a beat.)

I'm a passionate woman.

107.INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT.107.

ALLEN and KRISTINA come out of the elevator.

ALLEN:

Well�

KRISTINA:

I had a lovely time, Allen.

Thank you. I hope we can do it again.

ALLEN:

Good night.

KRISTINA:

Good night.

ALLEN has entered his apartment and is about to close the

door behind him, when KRISTINA suddenly interrupts:

KRISTINA:

Oh, and Allen!

ALLEN:

Yeah?

KRISTINA:

You're a very good dancer.

ALLEN smiles weakly, then shuts his door, locking and

double-bolting it. Pause. KRISTINA returns to her

apartment.

108.INT. ALLEN'S PLACE - NIGHT.108.

ALLEN stares at his telephone. Finally, he plugs it in.

Instantly it rings. He answers it. At first, just

breathing. Then:

HELEN (V.O.)

I've had you on auto-redial all night.

ALLEN hangs up and unplugs the phone again. He sits down

and stares at it.

109.INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - NIGHT.109.

ALLEN comes out of his apartment and walks bravely down

towards HELEN's apartment. He stops outside her door.

Pause. He buzzes.

A moment passes. ALLEN covers the peephole with his hand.

HELEN (O.S.)

Hello?

HELEN opens the door, sees ALLEN.

HELEN:

Yes?

Pause.

ALLEN:

I'm the one.

HELEN:

I'm the one.

(a beat.)

Oh.

She cannot disguise her disappointment, but tries.

HELEN:

Come in.

ALLEN:

Okay.

110.INT. HELEN'S PLACE - NIGHT.110.

HELEN and ALLEN sit opposite each other. A long silence.

Finally:

HELEN:

Drink?

ALLEN:

No�thanks.

Pause.

HELEN:

This isn't working.

ALLEN:

No.

HELEN:

You're not my type.

ALLEN:

No.

HELEN:

I'm sorry.

ALLEN:

It's okay.

HELEN:

I made a mistake.

ALLEN:

Me too.

HELEN escorts him out.

HELEN:

Good night.

ALLEN:

Good night.

111.INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - NIGHT.111.

ALLEN walks back towards his door, pauses, looks at the

other end of the hallway: he decides to go visit KRISTINA

instead.

He buzzes KRISTINA's door.

After a few moments, the door opens. ALLEN looks at the

ground. KRISTINA's eyes are full, her hands coated with

M&M's. he walks inside.

112.INT. KRISTINA'S PLACE - NIGHT.112.

ALLEN and KRISTINA lie in bed, facing different directions.

113.EXT. FLORIDA/ARIZONA GOLF COURSE - DAY.113.

It is hot and sunny. LENNY is golfing alone, isolated.

Suddenly, from afar, he hears a woman's cries. He looks up.

LENNY'S POV:
An older woman is running around, hysterical.

An older man lies on the ground. Ambulance men haul him

onto a stretcher and into a waiting ambulance.

After the ambulance has left, a young caddie picks up the

strewn golf equipment and transports it away.

114.INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY.114.

LENNY sits across from the DOCTOR.

LENNY:

Are you sure?

DOCTOR:

Look, you see this?

(illuminates an x-ray)

You're the picture of health.

LENNY:

So no tumors.

DOCTOR:

Nope.

LENNY:

�And my heart?

DOCTOR:

Like an ox. Lenny.

You're gonna live to a hundred.

LENNY:

Oh. That means I still have

another 35 years.

DOCTOR:

(smiles)

Just stay off the salt!

LENNY:

(musters a return smile)

You bet!

115.EXT. CONDO ROADWAY - DAY.115.

MONA is driving along.

116.INT. MONA'S CAR - DAY.116.

MONA notices someone up ahead.

MONA'S POV of DIANE jogging.

BACK TO MONA contemplating murder. She aims for DIANE. But

as she gets closer, a SECURITY GUARD suddenly appears. She

waves with a friendly smile at DIANE instead.

ANGLE ON DIANE waving back in a pleasant manner.

117.INT. MONA AND LENNY'S CONDO - NIGHT.117.

LENNY and MONA are preparing for bed, watching TV.

MONA:

I met with Steven Zimmer this morning.

LENNY:

You like him?

MONA:

Yeah. I'm gonna hire him.

LENNY:

Good. I'm gonna use Marty Blau.

MONA:

Good. I feel so much better now.

LENNY:

Yeah. It shouldn't take too long.

Pause.

MONA:

Lenny?

LENNY:

Yeah?

MONA:

Can you sleep on the living room sofa?

LENNY:

Why?

MONA:

Steven Zimmer thought it would be

a good idea.

Pause.

LENNY:

Okay.

LENNY starts off for the living room, gets extra pillow and

blanket. Pause. MONA then gets up and follows him into the

living room.

MONA:

Lenny?

LENNY:

Yeah?

MONA:

You don't have to sleep there.

You can stay with me if you want.

LENNY:

Nah. It's okay. Good night.

MONA:

Good night.

Pause. MONA turns back towards her bedroom.

LENNY:

Close the door behind you.

MONA closes the door behind her.

118.INT. DIANE'S CONDO - DAY.118.

LENNY rings the doorbell. DIANE opens the door.

DIANE:

Oh, hello.

LENNY:

I thought I'd say hi.

DIANE:

Please come in.

LENNY follows DIANE into her living room. She fixes a

couple drinks, turns on a cd.

DIANE:

Gin and tonic?

LENNY:

Okay. Thanks.

She returns with the drinks, sits beside him on the sofa.

DIANE:

Uch, it's so bright outside.

It gives me a headache just

looking out the window.

LENNY:

It's supposed to rain tomorrow.

DIANE:

I don't want to talk about the weather.

Pause.

LENNY:

Well, it was good for playing golf.

DIANE:

I hate that game. It's so slow and tedious.

LENNY:

Still, it passes time.

DIANE:

I like to travel.

LENNY:

I wen to Europe once.

DIANE:

Have you ever been to Tahiti?

LENNY:

No.

DIANE:

What about Tunisia? A night in Tunisia!

LENNY:

No.

DIANE:

Vincent never liked to travel.

LENNY:

I guess I'm like Vincent.

DIANE:

(laughs)

You know, when I was a child I always

imagined I'd marry the man I fell in

love with, have a son and daughter who

loved me as much as I hated my mother,

then die tragically and suddenly,

young and beautiful. Later, when

Vincent left me, I imagined I'd finally

be happy.

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes