Happy, Texas Page #7

don't like us, then screw 'em.

These girls here, they're...

they're talented, they're pretty...

and if if those judges

say anything different

then I hope that on Judgement Day, you

put their asses through a meat grinder.

Amen.

Amen!

Amen.

It's show time, folks!

Let's go.

Good luck. Break a leg. Not really.

All right.

Break an egg.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Straight from

the big bend of Texas...

your nominees for

Little Miss Fresh Squeezed!

Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

All right!

Welcome to Happy

where we are more than happy

to be hosting...

the 18th Annual

Little Miss Fresh Squeezed...

Preteen Talent Competition.

97 girls from 13 communities...

competing for a chance

to represent their hometown...

at the state pageant

in Dallas next month.

What's going on?

No matter what, remember, 3:45!

Speak.

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

This little light of mine

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine

let it shine

How ya doin'?

That's why... I have good news.

The Del Rio girls

they haven't shown up

so the Happy girls are gonna

go on stage early.

I thought maybe we could

go back to my place.

That would be... What?

I thought we'd go back to my place.

Wait. Happy girls aren't supposed

to go on till quarter to 4:00.

Well, 15 minutes early.

David. David.

No. David.

Hi ho.

You know

this reminds me of a story.

Well, I'll be dipped.

Hey, Alton. Get yourself a map

get ahold of the SWAT boys...

and get your best body armour.

Yes, sir.

We have been invited to a party.

Call the local boy. Tell him what's up.

Way out west

Old Dan Tucker

Popped some corn

Old Dan Tucker

Let's go!

I am in the middle of a song here.

Our plans have been changed.

Hey, come on!

Please trust me.

Get us a car.

I could not be prouder today

to introduce to you the Happy girls!

What the hell are we doin' here?

The alarm is in Chappy's office.

Okay.

Enough. I consider

the bank robbed, town safe.

It's time to go.

Where are they?

Who?

Texas Marshals.

You saw Texas Marshals

out there?

No.

Aw, Jesus, you scared me.

For a minute there

I thought we were in trouble.

They should be here by now.

No, see now

if they responded to alarms

which they don't...

I called them.

Jesus on a crutch! What the...

I couldn't let him have Joe's bank.

I can't let Bob do that.

They're here. I think it's time to go.

Thank you.

No.

Joe! Don't!

Joe!

No, you gotta hit

Farm Market Road 2448. South to Happy.

Great oogly moogly.

What is goin' on now?

Look who's here, mija.

Joe.

He's talkin' to you.

Steven...

That's enough.

I put four of them inside.

Let's assume the woman

is a civilian.

You let me know when one of

you boys got a clear shot.

You know what I

don't figure, goat boy?

Either you're here for the cut...

in which case

I'd just as soon shoot you

or maybe you've come

for mi novia here.

You don't have to hurt her, Bob.

Hurting her is not part of the deal.

Now, you stand real still.

You hold this.

I'm gonna have to ask you for your gun.

Gun?

Amateurs.

Got an unidentified on the street.

Did anybody get ahold of the local?

Bob, we had a deal.

You take the money.

But I'm warnin' you, that's all

you're takin' out of here.

You're warning me?

You are one dumb peon.

Shots fired!

Shots fired! Get him!

Will you tell your boy to cease fire

before he kills us all.

Cease fire! Cease fire!

Sir, we got us an officer in there.

What are we gonna do?

Admire him, son.

That is one big dicked cop.

Officer down!

Holy hell!

Somebody kill me

one of them bastards!

Come on, lover!

Oh, Jesus!

Well, here's a surprise.

You all right?

Don't you worry about me.

I've been hurt worse today.

Aw, Chappy.

Chappy.

I want you to know

I'm not tryin' to rob the bank.

That's good to know. I'd hate to think I

got shot tryin' to stop a bank robbery.

You gonna be okay?

I think I can take him.

I'm a bit confused.

I love small towns.

Get in!

Damn!

What now?

Hit the brakes!

You stay here with the local.

He's shooting! Turn!

Hey! Jesus on a cracker!

We are in pursuit

of a late model tow truck...

pullin' an early model

recreational vehicle.

We're travellin' east

on Farm Road.

Farm Road. Farm Road. Uh...

1832, but you don't

wanna go that way.

1832 makes a big, lazy loop east.

Instead, you fellas ought

to take 2886 south

and I'll head 'em to you.

I'm gonna try to get up there.

Ely, you still workin'

that east parcel?

Hey, Chappy.

I need a favour.

You mind drivin'?

I'm feelin' a little lightheaded.

Look, shooting them is not gonna

make this truck go any faster.

But dumpin' them will.

Now, I want you to take the wheel.

Joe!

Steven!

What are you doing?

Trying to save you!

Well, cut it out!

I'm tryin' to save you!

If I don't kill you first.

Tractor!

Watch it!

Go! Go! Go!

Oh, beautiful.

Cops everywhere.

Pull in there.

Oh, no. Not the pageant.

Out!

So there!

Hey! The light is green!

Oh! Hey! Ha!

Adios, amigo.

You all right?

He hurt you?

Move! Move! Move!

Hold your fire.

That's real nice.

Now, what we got here is

an old fashioned Mexican standoff.

Don't you ever talk to me

like that!

Sic him!

Hey, you guys are good.

You're fast.

I don't know

what I run a 40, but...

Whew! In those shoes?

Why, you guys are really good.

That was for my girls!

Hog tie that little convict prick!

What was that all about?

Escaped bank robbin' convict

and I'm dancin' with him.

You know what they call that

in my line of work? Retirement.

Chappy, uh...

I never meant...

Yeah, but you did.

And that's what life's for, right?

Findin' out?

Sheriff Dent?

I just wanna shake your hand.

I wish there were more men

like you in law enforcement.

You are one big dicked cop.

Thank you.

Oh, my God! David!

Miss Schaefer, don't you

worry about a thing.

I love you.

I love you too, David.

Maddy!

Maddy, I'm sorry! I'm not gonna be able

to hear your whole song, all right?

I think you're a great kid!

I like you a lot!

Maddy!

Maddy!

Remember to keep the beat!

And let the beginning

start soft! Start soft.

Shh.

Shh.

It's oh so quiet

It's oh so still

You're all alone

Miss Schaefer.

I love you, Miss Schaefer.

Doreen. You can call me Doreen.

You can call me Wayne.

Look.

Looky what I done for you, sweetheart.

Oh, Wayne!

Wayne?

What's wrong, sugar darlin'?

Look what I've done.

I love that woman.

And so peaceful until

You ring my bell

Bam, bam

Shout, you yell

You broke the spell

Gee, this is swell

You almost have a fit

This guy's gorge

and I got hit

There's no mistake

This is it

Until it's over

And then

It's nice and quiet

But soon again

You look good.

There are very few things

that I remember about my mother.

But I do remember her tellin' me...

"Look out for boys.

They have a way about 'em.

"Make you feel

like fine crystal one minute...

an old penny the next."

I didn't come down here for you.

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