Happy Christmas Page #7

Well, go tomorrow.

I need my beauty sleep.

I want to f*** you.

Come on.

Don't say that!

I want to, too,

but I really gotta go home.

I know.

I can't.

I really can't. I'm sorry!

Are you kidding?

You're an idiot.

You're like... It's unbelievable, actually.

Jenny!

Jenny!

(ALARM BEEPING LOUDLY)

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Get up. Hey, get up.

I'm up. I'm up.

Will you go in Jude's room?

Jenny!

He's okay. He's okay.

Okay, it's okay.

What the f*** is this?

Oh, my God.

Jenny!

Can you f***ing wake up, please?

Jenny! Wake the f*** up!

Okay. Your f***ing

sister is wasted.

JEFF:
There's a baby

asleep in this house!

Do you know what it's like to wake

up in the middle of the night...

My whole f***ing life is in this house.

Do you know that?

Do you know what it feels like to

wake up in the middle of the night

and think that it

might be on fire?

And that my baby

might not be okay?

Dude, I burned food by accident.

It's smoke. It's fine.

It will go away.

F*** you. Go. I don't want your help.

F***ing go back to sleep.

Why don't you go

pass out in the basement?

You f***ing selfish a**hole.

Hi.

Hi. Go get

that child, please.

You go get that child.

Should we both get him?

Sure.

Oh!

JUDE:
Wow!

Wow!

Wow! A bike!

Look! And a big dolphin!

Yes.

And a present!

You can open that.

Wow!

Yeah! You want

to open this here?

What did you get, Jude?

Dada did a really nice job.

Look at this.

Wow.

She's not coming up, huh?

What's that?

She's not coming up?

I guess not.

I mean, she'll be up at some point, but...

Okay, last lollipop, okay?

Yeah, the last one.

Should I go wake her up?

Is that rude?

I mean, it's not rude.

She has presents, it's like,

you know...

I'm gonna go see.

I'm gonna go just check.

See what's going on.

Your Aunt Jenny's

in trouble, Jude.

You know that?

Can you say trouble?

Trouble.

Trouble, yeah.

She's in trouble.

Jenny?

WOMAN:
...Leonard

Bernstein last year.

MAN:
You know, I must have

seen Leonard Bernstein

maybe 200, 300 times.

WOMAN:
Oh! Well, listen,

if you're ever out around Minneapolis,

you be sure and go and see it.

You'll just love it, I know.

MAN:
Well, as a matter of fact,

I may be heading in that direction

in the very, very near future.

I can't believe

she didn't come back.

It's really shitty.

She'll be back.

She burned the house down...

Almost.

And then she didn't even

stick around to

apologize or see if...

I know. I know. It's the behavior

of an incredibly immature person.

I'm sure she's very embarrassed.

She can't deal with

the embarrassment.

She's 27.

She doesn't want to face up to the apology,

so...

At a certain point, you know...

Trevor's 27.

He didn't act like

this when he was here.

He was like an angel.

I love him.

My family's better than your family.

And they're really far away.

I love you very much.

I love your brother very much.

I love your sister very much.

I mean, I'm just awful.

I know you do.

I'm sorry that you're worried. She's fine.

I love you very much.

I love you, too.

Well, well.

I was hiding.

Yeah.

I felt like you

would be hiding here.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry that

I freaked out so much.

I just got scared.

I know.

We really love you.

Do you want to come home

and open presents?

Mmm-hmm.

That would be good.

JENNY:
But I've heard horny...

KELLY:
I don't like it.

JENNY:
I've heard horny also used as...

Somebody told me I was horny.

And, but they meant

that I made them horny.

Which I was like, "That's not...

"You can't use

that word like that."

CARSON:
They were like,

"You're horny?"

JENNY:
They were like, "Yeah,

no, people say that, too."

KELLY:
No, they're...

JENNY:
They say,

"You're horny,"

but he didn't just mean,

"You seem super slutty to me."

He was like, trying to say...

CARSON:
I'm angry

just from hearing that.

Like, I'm repulsed and angry.

KELLY:
It's really a gross

thing to say to somebody,

and it's also misusing the word.

CARSON:
Yeah, well, the word shouldn't

be used, so don't say "horny" again.

KELLY:
Don't ever.

CARSON:
So then you won't...

So you're looking for sort of a scene

that lets us know that she's

sexually interested in him?

JENNY:
Right, but the scene has to start...

It has to start...

It starts,

the chapter starts with,

we don't know she's

dreaming and he...

So it just seems

like things have

suddenly moved

very quickly, and...

KELLY:
Yeah.

JENNY:
He's in her room at night

and things are happening and

for a little... It feels like

something's definitely different.

This...

It feels really abrupt.

KELLY:
Yeah.

JENNY:
But...

Okay, so I'm gonna lay out what

I think the scenario

should probably be.

The sex scenario?

Yeah. Don't ask me

a ton of questions about it,

'cause I'm gonna

feel embarrassed.

But I'll just say probably,

what I'd imagine the people want

is she's in her bed,

maybe asleep on her

stomach or something.

He comes in, is touching her.

She's like, "Is it him?

Is it not him?"

Okay.

She's all confused

and worked up.

She thinks it's him,

but she doesn't know

if maybe it's some weird intruder

and she should stop him.

Then she turns over,

it's him. She's so excited.

They do it.

Whatever. She wakes up.

Yeah.

That was efficient.

CARSON:
What's her name?

JENNY:
Marion.

These are kind of placeholder names.

It's not gonna be

Harry and William.

It's just easier

to keep track of.

KELLY:
Yeah.

Got it.

Okay, if we're not...

If we're not

getting all women studies,

then can I just say,

if she gasps and we're not

running away from the idea that

maybe this is an intruder and

it's gonna all turn

out to be sexy anyway,

then he puts his hand over her mouth,

'cause I like that.

And so it's...

If we're not running away from it,

then let's run

head-on into the

"maybe this is

not a great thing,"

but then it turns

out to be a great thing.

And then turns out

to be a dream anyway.

Yeah.

I think that's great,

'cause she... 'Cause then there's

that moment where she's like,

"It's an intruder."

She won't say that.

(MIMICKING)

"It's an intruder. No."

JENNY:
You should

read the audio book.

"No. I'm so scared.

It's an intruder!"

CARSON:
Yeah, she should.

One time I was having sex with someone,

I was about to

have sex with someone,

he left the room and I was

kind of on my stomach,

and I didn't hear

him for a little while,

and I was like,

"He could come back

"and stab me in

the back of the head."

It just occurred to me.

I was like, "I don't know him that well."

Gross. Aren't these

situations in which

people get murdered?

Someone leaves the room to get a condom

and comes back and shoots them?

That's a very paranoid thought.

I was fine,

but by the skin of my teeth.

He came back.

JENNY:
Not really.

Not really by the skin

of your teeth.

You were just fine.

Yeah. Nope.

Almost died.

Yeah, I almost died.

That's a near-death experience.

I had one.

You've gone through some stuff.

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