Happy Funeral Director Page #2

---

When washing and clothing them?

I know you want to be an Undertaker,

But how can you hope people will die?

Who wants people to die, You ass.

You know how to wash and clothe?

Nope.

Do you?

You kill'em first. You do this.

You tie. You bow. You dig.

And then you bury.

It would be nice If a young lady died.

Lift him up.

Turn it and tie it.

Hey, what are you doing?

If the corpse gets up Like this, hit it.

That will be really scary.

Now you have to bow.

Hey, let go. Kong Daesik!

Grandfather is coming.

Untie him.

There's no time. Put me in the coffin.

- In?

- In?

Isn't Jaehyon back yet?

Why is the coffin out here?

We wanted to polish it.

Don't waste time. Put it away.

Put it down for a second.

- Let me put my shoes on.

- Careful.

Hello grandfather.

Sorry, here, have a drink.

My eyes got watery whenever

I see ramen noodles.

Why?

My wife and four children

died on the same day.

Why?

Poison.

They said they'd rather die

than eat ramen every day.

I'm the only one who lived.

Why?

I stepped out for a minute

and the kids ate it all.

When I tried to hangmyself,

I saw the funeral parlor

and thought this was it.

This was what I could do for my children.

Jaehyon, I have to become an undertaker.

Jaehyon, you're a real ass.

Cheol Ku here has to...

become an undertaker.

Oh, what did I do?

You put the store Up for sale!

Oh, I...

Let's the three of us Give it a good shot.

Why don't the two of you

give it a good shot.

I'm going to Seoul.

What are you going to do In Seoul?

Last time you went,

you came back with a bunch of debts.

What are you looking at?

I heard you were Selling flowers.

They don't sell well. Nobody buys them.

I already wore out two brooms.

All I do is to clean the store.

Come on in, have some coffee.

Coffee? No, I have to Got somewhere.

Some other time. See you.

- How many can you eat?

- 15.

- What about you?

- 6.

A person I know got beat up

while boiling ramen noodles.

- Why?

- He burst the egg yolk.

- Why ramen is ramen?

- I don't know.

Would you eat that?

Would you eat that?

- You know what this is?

- No.

Open ramen.

- You know what this is?

- No.

Unopened ramen.

- Do you know what this is?

- Chicken egg.

- Oh, I spit in it.

- Let's put it in.

Aren't you sleeping?

I thought you went to Seoul.

Your father didn't want to become

an undertaker either.

But he thought it was good after a while.

It's not a big deal.

Hey, you want to have a drink?

Go to sleep.

Becoming an undertaker

becomes better with time.

I took care of so many corpses.

I wonder who'll take care of mine.

It would be nice if my grandson did.

You brat...

Go to sleep.

Yeah.

I don't have many days left.

I'll give you money tomorrow,

pay back your debts.

And if you really don't want to do this,

you don't have to.

There are more than 30 kinds of biers.

There's those for the rich

and those for the poor.

Put some more flowers for the rich

and less for the poor.

These flowers only cost about 5 Won each.

Hammer a nail here and put up the frame.

Put it up like this.

And it falls.

You didn't nail this side.

I know, I was going to tell you.

Hey, don't laugh.

This is no fun. Got any beer left? Move.

These are shrouds.

Where are you going?

They're all shrouds.

No, these are expensive ones,

these are average.

And those are really cheap.

Jerk. Why are you laughing?

Hey, look at that person over there.

He's the one who sews up corpses

that are ripped up.

He earns 6 million Won a month.

6 million?

Just by sewing up bodies?

Wow, isn't that great?

He looks great.

They're having a sports outing

at the school.

Let's go give these out there.

Hey, it's so nice to see you.

I thought you were in Seoul

working in a beauty parlor.

Oh, hey, Seong Ku.

My son goes here.

You're married?

I had no choice.

I dated a girl during highschool

and she got knocked up.

You know Jaehyon? Say hello.

Mom.

These guys work with me.

They are law-abiding citizens.

Yeah, I can see.

I'm Pan Cheol Ku.

We're like brothers.

- Please call us if anyone dies.

- What's this?

Does your family

still have that funeral parlor?

My grandfather is an undertaker.

We have a lot of wars.

I'm sure someone will die.

Oh, please call us.

People die when the time comes.

Let's help each other out.

Sir, the 5-way gang is here.

What are those jerks doing here?

You don't suppose they'll start a fight

at a children's meeting.

Next, is the village relay.

Mr. Kim, get those kids lined up.

You kids eating over there, get in line.

Hurry, hurry.

I'm from Nakcheon Funeral Home.

Hello, call us.

Sir, those a**holes want to have a fight.

What? At a children's Sports outing?

We don't have enough people,

should I ask your friends?

Just tell'em we'll make'em

our exclusive undertaker for 10 years.

- Jaehyon!

- Come here.

We'll give you a good deal, call us.

Hello?

Is this the funeral parlor?

I saw your ad.

No, this is a private home.

Oh no, right, this is the funeral parlor.

- Are you sure?

- Yes. Who's calling?

Here? This is the public cemetery.

I'm a ghost.

Who is this!

I told you I'm a ghost.

You son-of-a-b*tch! Who is this!

Is this the funeral parlor?

Yeah, a**hole.

Is this the public cemetery?

- And you're a ghost, right?

- Yes, this is Seongseong-Ri.

Next to the public cemetery.

Myungja's mother died.

She died?

Who is it?

Seongseong-ri, Myungja's Mother died.

Someone died?

Hurry before someone else Gets there.

Jaehyon, you go and hang our lantern.

The undertaker that hangs

his lantern first gets to do the job.

You go and get Daesik. Hurry.

Get things ready.

Who's that? Looks like an undertaker.

- What?

- Hurry. Go faster.

- Pedal harder.

- I am.

Who is that?

- Get off.

- What?

Your weight,

the bike's not going any faster.

What did you say?

I said the bike's not moving

cause you're too heavy.

How can I get off when we're moving?

Jump off.

He's catching up.

Hurry. Jump off.

Now!

Hey, you jerk. Take the lantern.

I'm from Nakcheon Funeral Parlor.

She's been dead for over 10 days.

She lived alone for 10 years.

Loneliness was her problem.

She killed herself.

Take that knife out first.

Oh, he fainted.

What are you doing? Get some water.

This isn't scary at all.

Why did Jaehyon faint?

Oh, my, you want to take that knife

with you?

You have to straighten the body,

before it gets stiff.

It's too late. Do your best.

God, you scared me.

Hey, come on, it's not scary at all.

I heard you decided

to help your grandfather.

Huh? Who said so?

Your grandfather. He's really happy.

That's good.

We'll see each other more often.

Yeah.

- You should know better.

- What?

- Did you see her gold teeth?

- I don't know.

I heard two gold teeth are missing.

- Let's split it.

- No thanks.

Hey.

Soju is best in chasing away any germs.

If you're going to be an undertaker,

you have to forget.

Otherwise,

you'll keep seeing the dead body.

Soju is best for that, too.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes