Happy Hunting Page #2

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All right, all right.

Now you boys

shut the hell up.

- Man f*** y'all!

You hear me you

crazy old prick?

- F*** you!

- That's my grandson,

junior.

Dumb as a bucket

of nails,

but he sure can lay down

an ass whooping.

Hello bedford flats!

How we feeling tonight?!

We've gathered here

once again to

remember where

we came from

before the great

herds died off

and men of low moral

character overran our gates.

Men like the five we

have here tonight.

Bad men.

In their own way,

they are all a burden

on our community.

Never forget that we

are a town of hunters.

Great herds may be

long gone,

but we know who

we are.

Tradition! Without it,

we're nothing.

So we're going to

play a game.

It's not a game so we might

forget our troubles,

but so we might remember

our past.

The rules are simple.

You run,

we hunt you.

We catch you, we kill you.

That's pretty much the

extent of it.

Welcome to the hunt!

- Please sheriff, please!

I promise I won't

drink anymore.

- I told you to put

down the bottle,

I gave you chances.

- I won't.

- I won't!

I promise not to

drink anymore.

- Lay down with dogs,

you get up with fleas.

- Look at me!

I'm not going to

make it!

No one does!

- Bob! Bob! Look at

your poor folks.

Look what you've

done to them.

People are sick of

your sh*t!

All right, all right.

I'd like to introduce you to

this year's hunters.

First up, know him,

love him,

probably buy your

beer from him.

Here for his twelfth

consecutive year,

my main man,

don Lincoln!

Next up, I've known these

three hell raisers

since before they

could crawl.

And they were as mean

then as they are now,

the wakowskis!

And finally,

a real success story,

and one of the

nicest guys around.

Steve Patterson, hunting with

his lovely wife, Cheryl.

All right now let's cut

these boys loose.

- Get the f*** out of

my way!

Get out of my way!

- Seeing as the only one

of you who's

familiar with this

whole situation,

running like

a bat out of hell,

may I suggest you

follow suit.

Somebody get me a drink!

- Need to have a sporting

chance, bud.

There's a light at the

end of the tunnel.

I found it,

and you can too.

- All right!

- Woo!

- Come on!

It's probably horse

tranquilizers and LSD

but what the f***, right?

Slow it down.

We got a head start.

Now we should run.

- Stop! Stop!

I know what to do.

Just hold on,

i know what to do.

- Looks like first blood

goes to wakowski's.

- Why they doing this?

- It's just what we

do man.

It's like, like always.

It brings the community

together, you know?

- No I don't f***ing know.

- Oh look man,

it's once a year.

It's not like an

every day thing!

- There's four of us.

We have to split up,

better odds.

- I'll see you on the other

side of this,

I'm still gonna kill you.

- Well cross that bridge

when we get to it.

- Yeah, we will.

- Stop!

- Run.

- Over here!

I got one!

Got one!

I got one! See!

- Kill confirmed.

- Looks like don snuck

in under the wire.

- He's-he's-he's

all yours!

Guys, i...

caught him for you!

Stop, stop!

I caught him for you.

He's-he's all yours!

- Get a picture.

- No man,

take it long ways.

- Who gives a sh*t?!

- It looks stupid tall ways.

Take it long ways, it looks

f***ing cinematic!

- That's two.

- don, you motherf***er!

- Love you, honey.

- Love you more.

- Cheryl!

- Two of 'em made

it off the flats.

- Well, folks, you know

what that means.

Looks like we're

in overtime.

- Might want to check on

Steve and the wife.

- Copy that, big don.

- I'm heading out.

- So what happens if

you go cold Turkey?

- When's the last time they

off'd one of ours?

- Ninety-eight, I guess.

- Burton mills.

- Only son of a b*tch

that ever hunted

with his bare hands.

It was a bad idea,

i told him.

- Sh*t everybody did,

stubborn old bastard.

That was Steve's year.

Get in the car, boy!

- What the f***, dude?!

- Psst.

- Where are we?

- That's the edge

of the flats,

which puts us

about here.

- Now what?

- Straight through

the border.

- Mexico?

- Last I checked,

there was a whole town

of freaks back

that way.

- You'll f***ing shoot

them, right?

- There's one bullet here.

Listen, Mexico it's our

best bet.

- That gonna be okay?

- Guess we'll find out.

- Dope sick or what?

- Booze mostly.

You take this.

One bullet,

don't be a dipshit.

- F*** yeah!

- Hello bedford flats this

is your sheriff.

I'm not gonna give you

a bum steer.

We had some ups and downs

out there today.

Our boy,

Bob didn't make it out.

It was the best thing

for him.

Condolences to his folks.

As most of you know,

Cheryl Patterson has

been pronounced dead.

Steve's getting the medical

attention that he needs.

We'll have him back on

his feet soon.

But keep him in

your thoughts.

He'll need us more than ever

when he comes to.

But I can assure you that the

men responsible

for these vicious acts will

not go free.

These men are weak

and poorly made.

It's only a matter of

time before

don and the wakowski's

catch up to them.

And when they do,

it will be painful.

That's a promise.

So keep your chins up,

bedford flats.

It's hunts like these that

brings us all together.

- Love you, honey.

- Love you more.

Cheryl!

- Bring them back

to me!

Bring them back to me!

- There's a radio!

It's not doing anything.

- What is that?

- Ethanol.

- Just leave me the

f*** alone, Barney!

- Steve, you're not well.

- Come on, just leave me

the f*** alone.

- Steve?

- Steve?!

- We get to Mexico,

what then?

- Gotta be honest,

as far as Mexico goes.

It's a lateral move for me,

might fit right in.

- What do I do?

- Get to juarez,

find a consulate.

Hope they deport you.

- El Paso to outpost,

anyone copy?

This is El Paso,

anyone copy?

- Copy.

- Saw the grid light up.

Who am I talking to?

You with parks?

- No.

- Forest service?

- Dude, tell him!

- Tell him! Tell him!

- Stop, would you

believe us?

We're backpackers.

- You're way off the trail.

How'd that sh*t happen?

- Look, my friend here

is injured.

Broken leg.

Can you get air transport

in here asap?

He's in a pretty bad way.

- Gonna be hell

on your insurance.

- We'll manage.

- Only problem.

Can't put down where

you're at.

No landing area.

- Okay, where ya thinking?

- I got an idea.

There's a radio beacon

a couple ranges back.

That's way your way out.

Go to the window.

I need you to get

eyes on it.

- Hang on.

- I don't see it!

- You boys looking?

- Yeah, we're looking.

- Good.

Now I got a question

for you.

- Yeah, what's that?

- You wanna see the

insides of this kid's head?

- Reach down, get the man

with the yellow shirt.

God has saved you.

You are sinners.

You will go to hell if you

don't do what you're told.

- Why are you

people doing this?

- Sh*t dude,

if you gotta ask,

you ain't never

gonna understa-

- understand.

- What?

- This is frank.

- Sh*t, frank,

it's the middle of

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