Happy Hunting Page #3

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the damn night.

- Sheriff,

I'm aware of that.

But we've got what I think

you'd call a... Situation.

- Steve, you dumb son

of a b*tch.

- Cerveza?

Bad men back there.

- There is bad men

everywhere.

- Not like this.

- Just leave it alone.

Good morning, bedford flats.

I wish you I could start

your day off right.

But once again I bring

you bitter news.

As some of you may

have already heard,

the body of Barney Erickson

was found

early this morning.

The cause of his death,

still under investigation.

This marks two of

our own that have been

brutality taken

from us in the last

twenty-four hours.

I will not rest until

those responsible

are brought to justice.

Keep your chins up,

bedford flats.

- Grandpa, can I ask

you a question?

- What?

- Do other towns...

- Do this?

- When I was your age,

maybe a little younger,

I took a trip to Dallas

with the old man.

First time in

the city.

Saw a homeless gal

laying on the

sidewalk out cold.

I asked a cop if we

should try and help her.

Well he looked at me

like I was some kind of idiot.

You see,

in the city,

they let their

problems die,

slow right in front

of everybody.

Here, we take our problems

out behind

the woodshed and put

'em down proper.

You're too young

to remember, but...

This hunt can

help people.

- You take Steve.

He was raising all

kinds of hell.

Drinking and drugging.

Then that business

with the baby.

Well, folks got fed up.

Burnside:
When I saw him

stumbling across the flats,

I thought,

this guy is dead meat.

But he showed us.

Beat in Burton mills' head

with a rock.

Figured we'd seen the

last of Steve.

Then a month later,

he shows up walking

down main street.

But you could see it

in his eyes.

He was a changed man.

- Yeah, well,

Chris Nelson said

we do this because

hunting people is fun.

- Well, I suppose there's

that too.

- Yeah.

When are you gonna

let me hunt?

- Not for a while yet.

- Well, looks like you're

going cold Turkey

after all, hombre.

You know, you got

a lot of nerve, man.

I'm practically the only

friend you got left.

- Most people, they don't

die from drinking.

They die from

quitting, bud.

That's a fact.

- It starts with

the shakes,

at least it did

for me.

And then your

vision goes.

Motor skills, thought process,

seizures.

Peaks at twenty-four hours.

Oh, sh*t.

You're gonna wanna bite

down on something, boy.

- Come on, man.

- You can do it.

I got faith in you, man.

I got all the faith in

the world in you,

you sorry motherf***er.

Bo dawg:
You know an

animal in a trap,

they'd gnaw their own

leg off to survive, but...

You ain't got the rocks,

do you?

So we both know how

this ends.

You'll be damned if

some burnout desert

psycho put you lights

out for good.

No way, Jose.

Not you.

But where we're going,

you and me,

people get it.

They get us.

- Do me a favor.

Get f***ed.

- Hello bedford flats.

This is your sheriff.

It's been a tough

few days out here.

I know this year hasn't

been the most fun,

but we're gonna bring

Steve back safe and sound.

The man's been

through hell.

Keep your chins

bedford flats.

- Grandpa,

when we find Steve,

we're gonna

kill 'em, right?

- Well that depends

on Steve.

- When I'm hunting,

I'm gonna kill everyone.

- We got a dead man

back in town.

- You got a lotta

dead men, boss.

- You know what I'm

talking about!

You got his gun

in your belt.

- What?

- This one?

- Don't you f***ing move!

- Stay back.

You're in no condition

to hunt.

Time to call the game.

- Just shoot him, grandpa.

- Just shoot him!

- Shut the f*** up!

Now this Warren,

he's just one man.

And you don't know

where he is.

- But I know where

he's gonna be!

- Give it up, Steven.

- How do you think

i hid from you

crazy f***ers for a

whole f***ing month

back in

ninety-eight, huh?!

How?!

Cause I know!

I know where he's

gonna be!

- Grandpa, I got him!

- Shut the hell up!

- Now how you holding

for road flares?

- Eat sh*t, motherf***er!

- Corn fed motherf***er!

That's why you

never hunted.

You never could

f***ing shoot!

- I thought you were

a changed man, Steven.

Radio:
Sheriff?

Sheriff, are you there?

Sheriff?

Sheriff, this is frank.

Do you copy?

- Hey frank,

is that you?

- Steve?

- No.

This-

this is sheriff speaking.

- Steve, where are you?

What's happening?

Put the sheriff on.

- Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

Okay, let's get

serious now.

This is the

sheriff here,

and I just want to

say to all you

faggots in bedford flats,

have a real happy hunt.

- You son of a b*tch.

- Okay.

No more f***ing around.

I think that we should

change up the hunt.

I know you guys are

all stuck on this

deliverance hillbilly

buffalo hunting bullshit.

I think we should

do a more

all-American sport.

I think we should get

rid of this sh*t

and do some baseball.

Good ol' American baseball.

What do you

think, sheriff?

- Wait-

- hey bud.

Where you going?

Come on,

have a drink.

Run!

Run!

Run!

- That hurts, doesn't it?

- You know what?

You're a real fun guy.

We should hang out

more often.

Say cheese!

I told you there was

a light at

the end of the tunnel,

didn't I motherf***er?

The last time I was

down here I was

the one being hunted.

The place looks

great, doesn't it?

Drink up, bud.

Cigarette?

- Cheers, bud.

- Tequila.

This gringo is wasted.

Tequila.

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