Happythankyoumoreplease

(street traffic blaring)

(soft creaking)

(zipper zips)

(phone ringing)

(ringing continues)

(grunts)

Oh!

- Oh my God, oh my God.

- (beeps)

Automated voice:
Hello.

No one is available to take your call.

Please leave a message

after the tone.

- (beeps)

- Woman:
Sammy boy.

Big day today.

It's going to be great.

Will you call me after your meeting?

I need you to talk me down.

You're going to wear

the blue shirt, right?

Ugh, this happens to me

every time I host a party.

There's this moment beforehand

where I prepare myself to learn

that I'm not nearly as well-liked

as I thought I was.

Tuck tuck.

Don't forget to tuck.

Ugh, this is weird, Sam.

You've got to admit,

I'm having a weird party.

Okay, why am I still talking?

You're probably gone by now.

- (beeps)

- Oh look, you're calling me.

- Hello?

- This is bad.

- What? What happened?

- I overslept.

Sam, the meeting's not till 10:00.

You'll be fine.

Oh, I fear success.

Why do I fear success?

What are you talking about?

I went out last night trying to

f*** up my life and it worked.

Wait, before we get to you,

can you come early tonight?

I'm convinced no one's

going to show.

You're wrong,

but I'll get there early.

- When?

- First thing.

Oh, I f***ed this up bad.

- I'm so f***ed.

- Sam, breathe for me.

- Take deep breaths.

- Whew.

Good.

Now listen to me.

It's going to go amazing.

Because you know why?

- Why?

- Because it has to.

You're the voice of our generation.

- That's a lot of pressure.

- Sorry.

Okay, I'll see you tonight.

(folk rock music playing)

#Do I believe in this #

#Or is this the only way

to get around in my life? #

#Do I deserve this? #

#No, you deserve

much better #

#In your life #

#In your life #

#Thinking of you,

thinking of you #

#So what can I do

when I'm thinking of you? #

#Do I believe in this #

#Or is this the only way

to get around in my life? #

#Do I deserve this? #

#No no, you deserve

much better in your life #

#In your life #

#Thinking of you,

thinking of you #

#So what can I do

when I'm thinking of you? #

#Thinking of you? #

Woman:
Stop.

I said stop.

Man:
Stopping 14th Street.

Next stop 23rd.

Stand clear of the closing doors.

(sniffles)

It's okay.

We'll just, um...

it'll be okay.

Uh, hey.

This... this kid got separated

from his mom on the train.

- So?

- So? I gotta... what do I do?

Well, take him to the police station...

21st and Third.

Thanks. Come on.

Let's go. Let's go.

(police sirens wailing)

Hey, what are you doing?

They're going to help you.

I gotta leave you here, dude.

I don't know what else to do with you.

F***!

Don't swear.

Do you know your address?

Come on, dude, help me out.

I am so late.

What's your name?

My name's Sam.

Look, I... I know it's not good

to talk to strangers,

but I'm clearly a good citizen

or something.

I'm trying to help you.

Subway's two blocks that way.

Good luck.

- (elevator dings)

- (phone rings)

Woman:

Smith-Crowley.

Hi. I am ridiculously late

for my meeting

with Paul Gertmanian.

- Your name?

- Sam Wexler.

Just take a seat.

- (phone rings)

- Smith-Crowley.

Hey, um, when I go in there,

would you mind

keeping an eye on him?

What's his name?

Ask him.

He likes to chat.

Paul:
Susan speaks

very highly of you.

She told me, "The one thing

about Sam is he's always on time

for an important meeting."

(chuckles)

Well...

No, this is... this is tightly paced.

It's funny.

Engaging characters

that sound like real people.

It's...

But... how to put this?

Your protagonist Alan...

- Alex.

- Right.

I don't know if you want people

to love this guy or hate this guy.

He's kind of ambitious.

He's kind of mature.

He's kind of just kind of.

Novels are tricky, Sam.

Susan says your short stories

are wonderful.

But it seems to us

that you haven't

entirely adapted

to the longer form.

The novel requires a different kind

of commitment than the short story.

Excuse me for one second.

(huffs)

Hey hey!

Where are you going?

(thuds)

Ah. Question:
who is he?

He's just, uh...

just a kid.

Thanks for coming in.

(elevator beeps)

- Receptionist:
Bye, Rasheen.

- Bye.

- Rasheen:
Where are we going?

- Toy store.

- Yes!

- Kidding.

We're getting you back home

and out of my hair.

You're not my responsibility.

Dude, come on.

(sighs)

Not cool, dude.

Not cool.

Hey, can we stop running?

I'm almost 30.

So look, you're obviously

having some family issues.

But whatever.

It's childhood. It ends.

Don't look at me like that.

You f***ed... you screwed up

a very important meeting

for me back there.

I think I've been

more than accommodating.

Now come on.

We gotta get you home.

Your mom's probably

worried sick about you.

She's not my mom.

That woman on the train...

that wasn't your mom?

Were those your brothers

and sisters?

So... where's your mom?

Were you... what's going on?

Were you living with that woman?

Like in foster care?

(sighs)

Come on.

- I'm thirsty.

- Yeah, I know.

I'm taking you to the place

with the best water in the city.

Stay here.

Come here.

Come on.

Come on.

Good. Look cute.

Cuter. Come on.

There, that's it.

Hey!

Sorry, that was loud.

Didn't mean to scr...

- are you guys open?

- No, not yet.

Can, uh, he get

a glass of water?

Yeah sure.

- So who's this?

- He's my little brother.

Not my actual brother.

I'm his big brother like...

like Big Brother, Big Sister

kind of thing, you know?

- That's great. Good for you.

- Yeah yeah.

Good deeds.

Good deeds.

It's nice to know there are still

good men in the world.

- They're hard to find.

- That's what Flannery said, right?

- So, uh, what's your name?

- Mississippi.

- That's your real name?

- It's what everyone calls me.

I'm assuming it's also

where you're from?

Yes, sir.

Wow, what are the odds

of that, right?

(both laugh)

So great.

You're... you're here a lot?

Sadly, yes.

Okay, that's enough.

Say thank you for the water.

- Thank you for the water.

- Oh, look at that.

You're welcome.

Great, so we're going to...

we gotta...

(clicks tongue)

But... come on.

It was great meeting you.

I'll come back here

and, you know,

drink your alcohol

at some point.

- That'd be nice.

- Great.

- I'm Sam.

- Hi, Sam.

(folk music playing)

- Sam:
You hungry?

- Yeah.

All right.

Let's get a little snack.

Then we'll get you back home.

#Hobos and tacos

and broken down Hondas... #

- Why can't I stay here?

- You can't stay here.

- Why not?

- Because you can't.

- Why can't I?

- Because I said so.

- I wanna stay here.

- You've made that very clear.

You can't stay here.

- Please?

- No.

- Please?

- No.

- Please?

- No.

- Please?

- No.

- I really wanna stay here.

- Ahh.

- We'll have fun.

- I can't hear you.

- Please?

- I can't hear you.

- Please?

- I can't hear you.

#Palm trees, exposed knees,

I punched Mickey Rourke #

#But I miss New York. #

(car horn honks)

F***!

Don't swear.

Let's go.

(muffled music playing)

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