Hard Boiled Sweets Page #4

Oi, bacon roll.

We're leaving.

Now.

Nice evening for it.

That's far enough.

What about the fairground?

F*** them, we'll get a move on.

I'm not spending all evening

walking down the end.

Thought you could rip me off?

No, listen, please.

You've got it all wrong.

I don't know

what he told you, but...

Enough is what he told me.

It's a lie.

You've got to believe me.

Be a man. You tried

it on, got rumbled.

End of. Now you're going

for the long hard flush.

In the sewerage, right

where you belong, copper.

Oh, come on.

You can't want this?

We go back years.

The trouble is, I spent those

years inside a prison cell.

Didn't I, copper?

I've got a wife.

Then in the long run,

I'm doing you a favor.

Jenna! I'm sorry!

Oh, Jesus. Unbelievable.

What's with you?

Show some bollocks, man.

You got a backbone

made of knob cheese or what?

Oh, my God!

Sh*t. Boss?

Did you not

f***ing check to see

if the f***ing tide

was f***ing in?

Check how, boss?

It's too f***ing dark.

Jesus, nobody knows

what I have to put up with.

My back!

My back's gone!

Well, Dean,

you going to sort it or what?

We can only

get away with so much,

and this is right royally

taking the piss now.

Oh, my God!

I'm in pain!

My nose!

My f***ing nose!

Sh*t.

Maybe I should get down there?

You think?

Dean, get down there

and clear this mess up.

Now here's the thing.

You've put me in a bit of a

situation, to tell you the truth.

How's that?

I mean, you've done me a big

favor, don't get me wrong.

But still, a man like me,

I can't have a fella

like you finding out

about my business

so quick and easy.

You understand?

You know,

I never understood it,

you know when people talk

about guns being phallic.

What a load of old tits.

I mean, what's phallic about that?

Nothing. To tell you the truth.

You want to see phallic?

This is phallic.

Or maybe I was just born lucky.

Boss?

You didn't have a clue

we were being followed.

Not an inkling.

Eddie...

The thing is, Dean, a c*nt without

a hole is a useless c*nt.

You just going to leave

the bodies here?

F*** them.

Let the tide get them.

Showers upstairs,

third door on the left.

Take the bedroom next to it.

Thank you.

And get an early night.

Big day tomorrow, like

I was explaining you.

Nice one.

Who's the visitor?

A friend.

And what's a friend doing here?

Business.

What kind of business?

The none-of-your kind,

sweet cheeks.

And where's Dean?

Well, Dean was

acting kind of funny.

What do you mean, funny?

You know, I was thinking maybe it

was something he ate, you know.

What did he eat?

A bullet.

I need an early night. Come

up and help me relax proper.

Sure, Eddie.

Hi, this is Rhona.

Leave what you need and

I'll catch you later, yeah.

B*tch.

Everything okay?

Yeah, all good.

Sure you don't want anything?

What's the matter?

Lost your appetite?

Nah.

You call a mobile,

it rings once,

and then it goes

to voice-mail.

That's 'cause

the battery's dead, isn't it?

I thought if the battery was dead it

went straight to voice-mail, no rings.

One ring's ignore, isnt it?

Sh*t.

You don't know

anything for certain.

Leroy, man.

You don't know.

Sorry I said anything.

I really am.

I'm sure it's nothing. Why

don't you give him a call?

What, Leroy?

Yeah. Give Leroy a call.

I bet he's nowhere near her.

You reckon?

Only one way to find out.

It's me.

Don't say anything

they can hold you to.

You're not even warm.

I know where it is.

Where what is?

Let's not play games.

Well, why not?

You're the one holding the gun.

You can make all the rules.

I want the money, too.

But taking it

tonight is a mistake.

Why?

'Cause tomorrow

there'll be more.

Much more.

How much more?

I'm guessing 1.5.

Million?

Eddie's boss is coming to town.

He'll be loaded.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Me and Dean were

going to take it, but.

Dean's dead.

That's right.

Which leaves you.

How can I trust you?

How can I trust you?

You've got the gun.

How's that for trust?

You know, a guy once told me,

there's only three reasons

to do anything in this world.

Women and money.

That's only two reasons.

Yeah.

I haven't

figured out the third.

Any ideas?

But I can remind you why

reason number one is women.

And I thought you were a lady.

No, you didn't.

How about Eddie?

Please.

He's under a sleeping

pill I slipped him.

We could do it next to him

and he'd never know.

Seal the deal, yeah?

Whatever you want to call it

is fine by me.

Eddie likes to hit me.

Is that why you want

to take his money?

Who needs a reason

to want money?

I know it might sound

like an excuse, but...

It's been a while.

If it makes you feel more comfortable,

we can do it prison style.

So how you

going to do me, Jermaine?

Huh?

Oh, come on, we're

pals now, aren't we?

I'm a grown-up, Jermaine

I know the score.

Leroy's told you to make sure I get

all the dosh, then take care of me.

Leave me in some ditch,

deepest darkest Essex,

where no one will go looking.

Am I right?

It's not like that.

Don't insult my intelligence,

Jermaine, please?

Well, kind of, but not really.

I got to take you back

with all the money,

so Leroy can check

it's all there.

And then I do you.

What, he doesn't even

trust you with the dosh?

I don't know.

What I don't understand is why he's

the boss and you're number two.

It's a real mystery to me,

that one, I'm telling you.

What?

Well, you got the money,

it's right here.

You got the muscle. What's he got?

He's got nothing, nada.

And yet he's treating you

like his errand boy.

You're taking all the risks.

We get stopped with this dodgy

dosh, who takes the hit?

Not Leroy.

You get caught clipping

me, who takes the hit?

Not Leroy.

No, it's the Muppet sitting,

driving this car that cops it.

I ain't no Muppet, man.

Well, stop acting like

one, then, Jermaine.

I ain't. It's just, Leroy's

got the brains, isnt it?

F*** brains.

It's overrated.

Sh*t, I can help you

with brains

if that's all you're

worried about, you know.

Look, just shut it, old school.

You're doing my head

right in, yeah?

For real, now.

Come on.

Let's get this done.

Hold on, I haven't

finished my breakfast yet.

Have it to go.

Jimmy The Gent.

Screwed Eddie.

Give me my money, Eddie.

So, you going to show me a

good time, Eddie, or what?

Yeah, 'course.

Treat me like a king, Eddie.

As though it was

my last night on Earth.

Of course.

Thought we might start off with

a few champagne cocktails.

Champagne cocktails?

With little umbrellas in them?

Olives on a stick?

Some polite nibbles, maybe?

Do I look like

a ponce to you, Eddie?

Take me to a proper

boozer, will you?

You got it nice

down here, Eddie, very nice.

No stress. Nice and easy.

An idiot could do

your job, am I right?

And you would never get a girl like

this in London, that's for sure.

Porsche?

Just a whore who got lucky.

She knows it, don't you, babe?

But every now and then I have to

put her in her place, don't I?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes