Hard Candy Page #6

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he has his thumb.

Didn't bend so well, but he could,

like, hitchhike and stuff.

I'm just checking to see if it works.

I guess they, uh, weren't brass.

You're not laughing, are you?

Well, no wonder. This isn't

a laughing matter at all.

I don't know.

Maybe Donna's smiling just a tad.

I didn't do anything to her.

Maybe, maybe not.

But I suggest you track down

the guy who did...

'cause he has no idea

what's waiting for him.

Here.

You really need to rehydrate.

Jeff. Please.

Come on.

Jeff, I'm serious.

You really, really need

to drink this, okay?

Come on.

Attaboy.

Do you want more?

Why are you being

so nice to me now?

You're pitiful now, aren't you?

I mean, it's going to be tricky,

not letting anyone find out about...

No more sex.

No more taking public showers.

But one of these days

you're going to get a physical,

and your doctor's going to find out.

And don't worry.

He's not gonna tell his golf buddies...

and they're not gonna tell their friends,

and they're not gonna tell

their friends.

But a couple years down the road

you're going to start wondering,

"Do your publishers know?"

"Do your models know?"

"Does Janelle know?"

God, I'm sweating.

Look, I'll go take a shower

and then I'll be out of your life, okay?

I'll find you.

Don't make threats

while you're still tied down.

- I'm just saying...

- What do you expect me to do about it?

I'm just saying.

The easiest thing for me to do

would be to just kill you.

But I already told you

I'm not going to do that.

You don't get off that easy, Jeff.

I'm sweating like a pig.

Seriously.

Um... I gotta go have a shower,

and then when I come back later,

maybe we can chat some more.

I'm all here.

I'm all here.

Why you can see it

with your very own eyes.

Come on. Come on.

F***.

Hey, Trace.

Look, I'm gonna be done, like,

so much sooner than I thought,

so do you wanna

catch a movie or something?

Cool.

No, I'm not telling you.

Yes, this is Lieutenant Hayley, L.A.P.D.

You're acquainted with a photographer,

one Jeffrey Kohlver?

Yes, there's been

an incident here.

Is it possible that

you can assist us?

I'm not at liberty

to discuss that at this moment, ma'am,

but it's a very delicate matter and the sooner

we can speak with you here,

the better chance we have

of keeping it out of the newspapers.

We appreciate that.

The address...

Yes.

Yes, that's the place.

How soon do you think

we can be here?

Steady.

Stand straight.

Attaboy.

- You're insane.

- Right.

Which I did tell you

when we first met, remember?

"Four out of five doctors agree... "

Maybe I should ask my therapist.

See what she thinks

about it.

Ask her much it would cost

to get a padded cell...

Help!

Shut up.

Hi.

Oh, hello.

Is Mr. Kohlver here?

Um, he's asleep.

Not feeling so well.

I think it's food poisoning.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Are you...

I'm his niece.

Oh, really?

Can I ask you something?

Okay.

I might be a little

out of line here.

Do you babysit?

Yeah, yeah.

I do. I do.

But I'm only here

for, like, a couple more days.

That's too bad.

I'm on a constant patrol

for new babysitters.

Right.

Are those...

Yes. Mr. Kohlver's cookies.

My daughter's a Girl Scout

and we've been trying to deliver these,

but we've always been missing him,

so here they are, yummy stuff.

Thanks.

Yeah. Uncle Jeff loves

his Girl Scouts, so...

- You should probably...

- What?

Well, pay me.

Right. Yeah. I'm sorry.

How much is it?

- Six.

- Six.

Can you just wait here

for a second?

No problem. Sure.

Here you go.

Did I hear something?

The food poisoning.

He's... vomiting and...

I'm so sorry.

- Your cookies.

- Thanks.

And if you're going to be around

any longer,

I'm just... I'm three

houses down, across.

I can always, always, always

use a new sitter.

- I wish I could, but...

- Yeah, me too.

Well...

So how's the roof?

Sorry?

You were on the roof.

I was.

Just a little while ago I was

trimming my roses and looked up

and I saw you there

and I was wondering who it was.

Ah, yeah, we...

There's, uh...

We had a leak

and I...

thought I'd go up and check.

Your uncle made you

go up on the roof?

Well...

he's sick

and I said I'd go and see

if there's, like...

- A hole or...

- Right.

Did it rain?

I have to go back to my uncle.

Oh, sure. No problem.

Just tell him Judy Tokuda

said hello.

- You bet.

- Okay?

Thanks.

Well... it's "yummy stuff. "

A leak? That's all you

could come up with? Pathetic.

Don't piss me off right now, Uncle Jeff.

You know, she'll be back.

She thinks you're flakey.

You might need help...

putting it f***ing mildly.

When you got loose...

did you call the police, did you run for help,

like an innocent person would?

- I did call.

- Oh, yeah?

Why don't we just

press redial and see?

Face it, Jeff.

You could have gotten away

and you didn't.

Now it's so easy.

I leave you here,

someone will find you...

along with the photo of Donna

and the confession that

I typed on your computer.

Or...

I have a special time,

limited offer.

You step off that chair,

you end it all,

I destroy all the evidence.

No one will ever know

why you killed yourself,

not even Janelle.

I didn't kill Donna Mauer.

- We've been over this.

- F*** you. I'm not gonna beg.

You mean you're not going

to beg again?

Because you do it so well.

Please.

Please, pretty please,

with a cherry on top.

One that you just had to pop.

You'll leave a clue.

You've messed up

once already,

more than once.

Mrs. Tokuda's made you.

She's figured you out.

They'll find you.

- They might.

- No. They will.

You'll spend the rest of your life

lookin' over your shoulder.

Waking up, in the middle

of the night,

jumping at every noise.

How hard do you think

they're going to look for me, really?

I mean, they find a pedophile killer,

all gift wrapped for them.

Do you think they're going

to care who did the work?

Do you think they're even

gonna bring it up?

And I will have the biggest

legal defense you ever saw.

If everyone who's ever molested

sends me $5,

oh, come on, I'll be able

to afford

the best f***ing lawyer in the world.

Worst case scenario:

two years of community service?

Jody Foster directs

the movie version of the whole thing.

Who do you want to play you?

You didn't leave, did ya?

No.

You don't wanna

leave me... do ya?

Where are ya?

We've spent too much time

only to walk away.

I know you're not gonna leave.

Come on!

I'll make it good for you,

I promise!

Oh, you're good.

You're so good.

You're so f***ing good!

You're just like her!

You're all just f***ing like her!

You wanna drive a man

f***ing crazy,

then go ahead,

until you go out of your f***ing mind!

Then go... Go on

your f***ing way!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go!

You're right.

You're right, Hayley.

Thank you. Thank you.

This is me.

This is who I am.

Thank you.

Thank you for

helping me see it.

What took you so long?

- You dropped this.

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