Harold and Maude Page #11

Harold has calmed down and speaks in a matter of fact way.

HAROLD:

(continuing)

People were whispering and looking

at my mother.

I tried leaning forward to see her

face but I couldn't.

(slowly)

She began to sway. She put one

hand to her forehead. With the

other she reached out, as if groping

for support. Two men rushed to her

side and then - with a long, low

sigh - she collapsed in their arms.

(pause)

I decided then I enjoyed being

dead.

Maude doesn't say anything for a moment. Then she speaks

softly.

MAUDE:

Yes. I understand. A lot of people

enjoy being dead. But they are not

dead really. They're just backing

away from life.

(with a twinkle)

They're players - but they sit on

the bench. The game goes on before

them. At any moment they can join

in.

(she jumps up

and shouts)

Reach out! Take a chance! Get

hurt maybe. But play as well as

you can.

(she leads a

cheer before

the stands)

Go team, go! Give me an "L."

Give me an "I." Give me a "V."

Give me an "E." LIVE!!!!!

(she sits down

by Harold, quietly

composed)

Otherwise you'll have nothing to

talk about in the locker room.

HAROLD:

(smiles)

I like you, Maude.

MAUDE:

(smiles)

I like you, Harold.

(pause)

Come, I'll teach you to waltz.

Music comes in from nowhere. Harold joins Maude and,

though they both realize how ridiculous they look waltzing

in kimonos, they begin to dance, and thoroughly enjoy it.

We go into a MONTAGE as they dance together, similar to

the one Maude danced alone. They dance on the beach, the

forest, the fields, the hills, and end up back in her

apartment for the courtly finale.

111EXT. THE CHASEN'S BACK YARD - DAY

Mrs. Chasen and EDITH FERN come out of the house and walk

toward the garage area. Edith, the second computer date,

is short, mousy, and looks like a female Don Knotts.

MRS. CHASEN

This way, Edith. Harold is out

by the garage. He has a new car

and he has been tuning it up.

He's very mechanical.

EDITH:

What kind of a car is it?

112EXT. THE GARAGE AREA - DAY

They come around the corner.

MRS. CHASEN

It's a little MG roadster...

She stops dead in her tracks at what she sees.

113MRS. CHASEN POV

Harold is putting the final polish on the car. The car,

however, has changed. It is now black, with a squared-off

top, a long back, black velvet curtains, and silver trim.

As Edith says...

EDITH:

Oh. It looks like a hearse.

(a pause)

Very nice. Compact.

MRS. CHASEN

(continuing despite

the blow)

Edith, I'd like you to meet my

son, Harold. Harold, this is

Edith... eh?

EDITH:

Fern. I'm very pleased to make

your acquaintance.

Harold nods a greeting and they shake hands.

MRS. CHASEN

Harold, I think you should go and

wash up and meet us in the den.

And remember what I said to you.

Let's make Edith feel at home.

114 INT. CHASEN'S DEN - DAY

Edith and Mrs. Chasen are seated having coffee.

MRS. CHASEN

And what do you do, my dear?

EDITH:

I'm a file clerk - Harrison Feed

and Grain.

MRS. CHASEN

How interesting.

EDITH:

Not very.

MRS. CHASEN

Oh. Well, what is it exactly

that you do?

EDITH:

I'm in charge of all the invoices

for the southwest. We supply,

for example, most of the egg

farmers in Southern California.

So you can imagine.

She sips her coffee.

MRS. CHASEN

Yes.

She sips hers. Harold enters.

MRS. CHASEN

Here's Harold now. No, don't

get up.

Edith sits. Harold sits. A pause.

MRS. CHASEN

(continuing)

Edith was just telling me about

her job.

EDITH:

I'm a file clerk.

MRS. CHASEN

Yes. Henderson Feed and Grain.

EDITH:

(corrects her)

Harrison. Harrison Feed and

Grain... At Hamilton and Fourth...

I'm in charge of the invoices...

And I type up the schedule for

the trucking fleet...

MRS. CHASEN

She supplies the whole southwest

with chicken feed.

EDITH:

(modestly)

Well, not all the southwest.

Although we do have a large

business... Barley was very big

last week... Fifteen hundred...

Harold pulls out a meat cleaver. His left hand rests on

the table. With one great swoop he cuts it of at the

wrist. Calmly he puts his amputated arm in his lap as

Edith pauses in her story. Mrs. Chasen rolls her eyes

and sighs. Edith loOkS at the bloody hand on the table

and cannot continue.

EDITH:

... bushels.

She begins violent retchings and tumbles forward to the

floor.

Harold looks over at Mrs. Chasen.

Mrs. Chasen looks over at Harold.

115INSERT CLOSEUP - UNCLE VICTOR - SAME AS IN SHOT 27 EXCEPT

RIGHT PROFILE:

UNCLE VICTOR:

I'd put him in the Army, Helen.

116 EXT. LONG SHOT - THE MEADOW - DAY

Harold and Maude have just finished having a picnic.

117MEDIUM SHOT - THE MEADOW - DAY

Maude is putting the things away. Harold lies on his back

and looks at the sky.

HAROLD:

Look at that sky.

(pause)

It's so big.

MAUDE:

It's so blue.

HAROLD:

And beyond the blue is the blackness

of the cosmos.

MAUDE:

Spreckled with uncountable stars.

The stars are shining right now.

We just can't see them. Just

another instance of all that's

going on that is beyond human

perception.

HAROLD:

(he sits up)

Maude, do you pray?

MAUDE:

Pray? No.

(pause)

I communicate.

(she smiles)

HAROLD:

(smiling)

With God?

MAUDE:

With Life.

They look at each other and smile.

HAROLD:

This is really nice. Makes me

feel like a kid. I want to do

somersaults .

MAUDE:

Well, why don't you?

HAROLD:

No. I'd feel stupid.

MAUDE:

Harold, everyone has the right to

make an ass out of themselves.

You just can't let the world judge you

too much.

Harold shrugs "Okay." He does a somersault in the grass.

He laughs.

HAROLD:

Want to join me in some cartwheels?

MAUDE:

No. I feel more like - yodeling.

HAROLD:

Yodeling?

Maude YODELS. Loud and long. Harold joins in. Their

combined voices ECHO across the valley and FADE OUT as

we:

DISSOLVE TO:

118 EXT. THE BEACH AT SUNSET

The sun sits on the horizon. We PULL BACK to include

Harold and Maude sitting on a rock and looking out at

the reddening clouds and sea.

MAUDE:

(poetically)

It's sinking, Harold. Going

over the horizon - where we are

all going to go. It's getting

dark. "Let each man hold on to

his candle and get a light

where'er he can."

HAROLD:

Where's that?

MAUDE:

(breaking the mood)

From the guys who got the matches,

of course.

(she laughs)

HAROLD:

(smiling)

Boy! It sure has been a wonderful

day. And you - you are beautiful.

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