Harold and Maude Page #12

He takes her hand and kisses it.

MAUDE:

Oh, Harold. You make me feel

like a schoolgirl.

HAROLD:

Shall I drop by tomorrow?

(remembers)

Oh, I have a luncheon date. With

this girl.

MAUDE:

Oh.

HAROLD:

I've never met her. My mother set

it up.

MAUDE:

Well, be kind. I've lived a long

time, Harold, seen evil as well as

good, and it has been my experience

that kindness...

As Maude is talking and looking out to sea, Harold looks

down at her hand in his. She is not wearing a long-sleeved

dress and we see a number tattooed on her skin: P-876954.

Maude doesn't notice but Harold is visibly shocked.

MAUDE:

(continuing)

... is what the world sorely lacks.

Oh, look!

Maude points and Harold looks out to sea.

119THEIR POV

A sea gull flies across the reddening sky.

120TWO SHOT

Harold still holds Maude's hand.

MAUDE:

Dreyfus once wrote that on

Devil's Island he would see the

most glorious birds. Many

years later in Britanny he

realized they had only been sea

gulls.

She smiles at Harold and looks back out to sea.

MAUDE:

(continuing)

To me they will always be -

glorious birds.

Harold keeps looking at Maude. The sun on the horizon

begins slowly to sink.

121 INT. CHASEN'S DEN - DAY

Mrs. Chasen is talking to Harold.

MRS. CHASEN

Harold, I cannot impress upon

you too strongly the importance

of this meeting. She is the

last girl. The Computer Dating

Company was reluctant to send

anyone in view of what they've

heard. Fortunately, I was able

to demand they stand by their

original agreement. But kindly

remember this is your third

and final chance.

The doorbell rings.

MRS. CHASEN

Here she is, now. Please try

to take this seriously, if not

for your sake, at least for hers.

Mrs. Chasen leaves. Harold grits his teeth, and breathes

deeply. He is going to try. He goes to a mirror and

straightens his tie. He hears approaching voices and he

turns to greet them.

Mrs. Chasen enters with SUNSHINE DORE, a stringy, long-

haired actress. Harold goes up to meet her.

MRS. CHASEN.

Harold, I'd like you to meet

eh, Sunshine Dore. Sunshine's

an actress.

SUNSHINE:

I like to think so.

HAROLD:

How do you do?

SUNSHINE:

Can't complain.

MRS. CHASEN

Well, I'll leave you two alone

for a moment. I have to call

my hairdresser. I'll bring back

some drinks. Harold, perhaps

Starlight would like a cigarette.

SUNSHINE:

Eh, Sunshine.

MRS. CHASEN.

Oh, yes, of course.

She exits.

HAROLD:

Would you like a cigarette?

SUNSHINE:

No, thank you. They stain my

fingers.

Pause.

HAROLD:

Is Sunshine your real name?

SUNSHINE:

Well, actually, it was the name

of my drama teacher - Louis

Sunshine. Perhaps you've heard

of him. He was such an influence

on the development of my instrument.

That means my body - in theatre

talk. Well, when I came to Hollywood

I felt the need to express the

emerging me in a new form, so I

took on "Sunshine."

Dore is my real name... Well,

Dore, actually. My, what a

lovely place you have here.

She goes to the piano.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

Do you play?

HAROLD:

No. I'm learning the banjo.

Do you?

SUNSHINE:

Oh, I studied the guitar. I had

to give it up. Gave me calluses

on my fingers. As an actress I

can't afford to have a tarnished

instrument.

She picks up a photograph.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

Oh, is this your father?

HAROLD:

No. My uncle.

SUNSHINE:

Oh, he's in the Army. I do so

like the military, don't you?

Those uniforms make men look so

virile. I did "What Price Glory?"

in summer stock. I played

Charmaine - with a French accent.

She goes over to the mantelpiece.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

Oh, what a wonderful collection

of knives. May I see them?

Harold gives up trying.

HAROLD:

Certainly.

He takes one off the wall.

HAROLD:

(continuing)

This one is particularly

interesting. It's a hari-kari

blade.

SUNSHINE:

Ohhh. What's hari-kari?

HAROLD:

An ancient Japanese ceremony.

SUNSHINE:

Like a tea ceremony?

HAROLD:

No. Like this.

With gusto he plunges the knife into his belly. He drops

to his knees bleeding profusely. He continues the upper-

cut and sidecut gouging with appropriate Oriental screams.

He stops and tumbles forward - lifeless.

Sunshine stands in awe. She slowly bends down.

SUNSHINE:

Oh, that was marvelous, Harold.

It had the ring of truth.

Harold... Who did you study with?

... Oh, I'm sorry. I don't want

to break into your private moment.

I know how exhausting true emotion

can be. I played Juliet at the

Sunshine Playhouse. Louie thought

it was my best performance.

She goes into Juliet.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

What's here? A cup, closed in

my true love's hand? Poison, I

see, hath been his timeless end.

Oh churl! Drink all, and left

no friendly drop to help me after?

I will kiss thy lips.

Harold opens his eyes. He can't believe this.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

Happily some poison yet doth

hang on them - to make me die

with a restorative .

She kisses Harold, who immediately kneels up.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

Thy lips are warm!

Harold, startled, knocks over an ashtray.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief.

Oh happy dagger!...

She takes stunned Harold's dagger, pressing the blade

back and forth in the handle to see how it operates.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

... Oh happy dagger! This is

thy sheath.

She stabs herself between the breasts.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

There rest--

She staggers to the couch, clutching the dagger.

SUNSHINE:

(continuing)

- and let me die.

She collapses and expires.

Harold gets up. He has never seen anything like it.

He wanders around the couch as if he was looking at

an idiot.

Mrs. Chasen enters with a tray full of drinks, sees

Sunshine dead on the couch, and drops them all with

a loud crash. She looks over at a bewildered Harold.

Summing up the situation, she flings out an accusing

arm.

MRS. CHASEN

Harold! That was your last date!

122CLOSEUP - HAROLD

He doesn't know what to make of it.

123CLOSEUP - MRS. CHASEN

She is thoroughly steamed up. She makes a decision.

124INSERT CLOSEUP UNCLE VICTOR - SAME FRAMING AS SHOT 27

BUT LOOKING STRAIGHT ON

UNCLE VICTOR:

I'd put him in the Army, Helen.

125INT. MILITARY ESTABLISHMENT - CLOSEUP - DAY

Military file cabinet opened and hand removes a file.

126INT. A MILITARY CORRIDOR - CLOSEUP - DAY

The file is being carried by someone and then dropped

into an "IN" box.

127INT. A MILITARY OFFICE - CLOSEUP - DAY

The file is taken out of the "IN" box, carried through

a door, and placed on a desk.

127AINT. UNCLE VICTOR'S OFFICE - CLOSEUP - DAY

The file is opened by a pair of hands. We TILT UP to see

whose hands they are. It is Uncle Victor who is studying

the file with obvious pleasure.

127BINT. THE CHASEN DEN - NIGHT

Mrs. Chasen stands before a seated Harold looking like a

queen about to proclaim banishment. (As we DOLLY into

her during her speech, we hear the hint of a DRUM ROLL.)

MRS. CHASEN

In view of your recent actions,

Harold, I find you have left me

with no recourse but to listen to

the solution proposed by your

uncle. Consequently, I have

instructed him to take the necessary

measures for you to be forthwith

inducted into the service, and, for

your own good, to take up active

duty with the United States Army.

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