Harold and Maude Page #8

MAUDE:

Yes, you're right. We'll go see

Glaucus. Come on.

HAROLD:

Oh, wait, Maude. Look!

Harold points and we see that two COPS have stopped and are

checking out the Continental on the sidewalk.

MAUDE:

(nonchalantly)

Oh, the police. Come on.

84EXT. BY THE CONTINENTAL - DAY

The police are looking around. Maude boldly walks by.

Harold tags reluctantly along.

MAUDE:

Good afternoon, Officer. Bit

of trouble here?

OFFICER:

(tips his hat)

Yes, ma'am. Somebody had some

trouble parking.

MAUDE:

Well, it's a tricky turn.

OFFICER:

(not understanding

but amiable)

Eh, yes, ma'm.

MAUDE:

Tell me --

(points to car

in front)

-- is that car parked all right?

OFFICER:

Oh yes. That's fine.

MAUDE:

Well, thank you. Eh, officer,

you might turn off the radio.

Saves the battery.

Maude and Harold walk off to the car in front. The officer

turns off the radio. He looks up. Maude has opened the

door of the car in front with her ring of keys. She waves

to him.

85CLOSEUP - THE OFFICER

He tips his hat and waves back. He is smiling as we hear

the engine start. The smile drops as we hear Maude's

screeching start.

86INT. GLAUCUS'S STUDIO - NIGHT

Maude and Harold enter. The block of ice in the center of

the room is now five to six feet tall and melting rapidly

into the large trough in which it stands. Around the studio

on the walls and benches are every conceivable hand tool -

sculpting tools, gardening tools, construction tools, etc.

On a raised platform in one corner covered with rugs and

cushions and skins, lies Glaucus, bundled up in a parka

and snoring horribly. In his gloved hands he holds a

hammer and an ice pick.

MAUDE:

Oh, my. We're too late.

HAROLD:

Is he all right?

MAUDE:

He's fallen asleep, as usual.

She covers him with a rug.

MAUDE:

(continuing)

We'll come back in the morning.

HAROLD:

What is that he's working on?

MAUDE:

An ice sculpture. It's Venus -

the Goddess of Love, the completion

of which is his unfulfilled dream.

HAROLD:

It is kind of rough.

MAUDE:

He's never finished one yet. He

has around him every kind of hand

tool known to man, but the poor

dear has difficulty staying awake.

HAROLD:

Look, the ice is melting.

MAUDE:

Yes.

They both stand and stare.

MAUDE:

That's one of the drawbacks of

the medium.

87INT. MAUDE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Harold and Maude sit before the fire. They have just

finished dinner.

MAUDE:

A little after-dinner liqueur,

Harold?

HAROLD:

Well, I really don't drink...

MAUDE:

Oh, it's all right. It's organic.

She pours.

HAROLD:

Thank you.

MAUDE:

(offering)

Some nuts? Some licorice?

It has no nutritional value but

then consistency is not really a

human trait.

HAROLD:

Thank you.

He chews the licorice. He gestures above the fireplace.

HAROLD:

(continuing)

What's that?

MAUDE:

My umbrella?

(fluttery laugh)

Oh, that's just a relic. I found

it when I was packing to come to

America. It used to be my defense

on picket lines and rallies and

political meetings - being dragged

off by police or attacked by thugs

of the opposition.

(fluttery laugh

as she remembers)

A long time ago.

HAROLD:

What were you fighting for?

MAUDE:

Oh, Big Issues. Liberty. Rights.

Justice. Kings died and kingdoms

fell. I don't regret the kingdoms

- what sense in borders and nations

and patriotism - but I do miss the

kings. When I was a little girl

I was taken to the palace in

Vienna, to a garden party. I can

still see the sunshine, the

parasols, and the flashing

uniforms of the young officers.

I thought then I would marry a

soldier.

(fluttery laugh)

Later, Frederick would chide me

about it.

(with a twinkle)

He was so serious. A doctor at

the University. And in the

government.

Suddenly she gets quiet.

MAUDE:

But, that was all... before...

Maude stares into the fire. She suddenly seems very small

and fragile. Harold notices the change that has come over

her and is not sure what to say.

HAROLD:

So you don't use the umbrella

any more?

She looks at him and says softly:

MAUDE:

No.

HAROLD:

No more revolts.

MAUDE:

(sparks back to

her old self)

Oh, yes! Every day. But I don't

need a defense anymore. I embrace!

Still fighting for the Big Issues

but now in my small, individual way.

Shall we have a song?

HAROLD:

Well, I don't...

MAUDE:

Oh come on. I'll teach you.

She goes to the piano, sits down, and plays. It is a fast,

delightful song and she sings it with zest.

MAUDE:

Come on, Harold, join in the

chorus.

Beside her Harold hesitatingly sings along. The o.s.

orchestra has joined in, enabling Maude to leave the piano

and get up and dance. She capers in true old vaudeville

fashion. As the song continues we go into a MONTAGE and

see Maude dance as she sings in various locales - the beach,

the forest, the fields, the hills, finally returning to

her room to join up with Harold for a socko finish.

MAUDE:

Oh, that was fun. Let's play

something together.

HAROLD:

But I don't play anything.

MAUDE:

(a bombshell!)

Don't play anything! Dear me. Everyone

should be able to make some music.

Why, it's life! - Rhythm and

harmony - That's the cosmic dance.

Come with me.

She goes over to a large cupboard and opens both doors.

It is full of all kinds of musical instruments. She ferrets

about for a while and pulls out a banjo.

MAUDE:

Here we are. Just the thing.

She shows him a chord and how to strum. - "Your fingers

here... etc." He does it a few times.

MAUDE:

That's right. But be impulsive!

Be fanciful! Let the music flow

out of you as freely as though

you were talking. Okay?

(she sits)

From the top -- Let's jam!

She swings into the chorus and Harold strums along. At the

end she looks over at him beaming.

HAROLD:

Okay?

MAUDE:

Superb.

88EXT. THE CHASEN'S BACKYARD - DAY

Harold sits practicing his banjo. We barely recognize that

he is playing Maude's Song. He hears his mother calling

him and he quickly hides his banjo in a nearby flower pot.

His mother enters.

MRS. CHASEN

Harold! Harold! Ah, there you

are. I have a little present

for you. A surprise. Come with

me.

They both go off toward the garage.

89EXT. THE GARAGE AREA - DAY

They both come around the corner and Mrs. Chasen gestures

dramatically in front of her.

MRS. CHASEN

There!

90EXT. THE GARAGE AREA - THEIR POV - DAY

We see a little green MG roadster. Harold comes up to it,

suspecting something funny. He looks around for his

hearse.

MRS. CHASEN

Isn't that darling? I had them tow

off that black monstrous thing of

yours and had them send this around

instead. It's so much more

appropriate for you, don't you

think?

Harold starts to say something.

MRS. CHASEN

(continuing)

One more thing, Harold. I've talked

on the phone with your second

computer date and she seems a very

nice, quiet girl. Not at all

hysterical like the first one.

Nevertheless I want you to be on

your best behavior when she comes

tomorrow and make her feel at home.

(she looks at the

car before leaving)

Cute little thing, isn't it? I

like it very much.

(she exits)

Harold stands for a moment looking at the MG. He makes a

decision.

91QUICK SHOT

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