Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Page #6

Scene 17:
Dueling Club.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – Girl’s bathroom - daytime

HERMIONE:
Again? You mean the Chamber of Secrets has been opened before?

RON:
Of course. Don’t you see? Lucius Malfoy must have opened it when he was

at school here. And now he’s taught Draco how to do it.

HERMIONE:
Maybe. We’ll have to wait for the Polyjuice Potion to know for

sure.

RON:
Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the

middle of a girl’s lavatory? Don’t you think we’ll get caught?

HERMIONE:
Heh... No. No one ever comes in here.

RON:
Why?

HERMIONE:
Moaning Myrtle.

RON:
Who?

HERMIONE:
Moaning Myrtle.

RON:
Who’s Moaning Myrtle?

MOANING MYRTLE:
I’m Moaning Myrtle! I wouldn’t expect you to know me! Who

would ever talk about ugly, miserable, moping Moaning Myrtle? Huh...aaaah!

HERMIONE:
She’s a little sensitive.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – Great Hall – set up for Dueling Club - daytime

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Gather ‘round, gather ‘round! Can everybody see me? Can

you all hear me? Excellent! In light of the dark events of recent weeks,

Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little Dueling

Club to train you all up in case you ever need to defend yourselves, as I

myself have done on countless occasions- for full details, see my published

works. Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape. He has sportingly

agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now, I don’t want any of you

youngsters to worry- you’ll still have your Potions master when I’m through

with him, never fear. One, two, threeSNAPE:

Expelliarmus!

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Whoaah!

HERMIONE:
Do you think he’s all right?

RON:
Who cares?

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: An excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but

if you don’t mind me saying, it was pretty obvious- ah- what you were about

to do. And if I had wanted to stop you, it would have been only too easy.

SNAPE:
Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block

unfriendly spells, Professor.

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape! Ah... Let’s

have a volunteer pair! Um, Potter, Weasley, how about you?

SNAPE:
Weasley’s wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We’ll be

sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Might I suggest someone

from my own house? Malfoy, perhaps?

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Good luck, Potter.

HARRY:
Thank you, sir.

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Wands at the ready.

DRACO:
Scared, Potter?

HARRY:
You wish.

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: On the count of three, cast your charms to disarm your

opponent- only to disarm. We don’t want any accidents here. One, two--

DRACO:
Everte statium!

HERMIONE:
Oh!

CRABBE:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

HARRY:
Rictusempra!

Scene 18:
A Parselmouth.

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: I said disarm only!

DRACO:
Serpensortia!

SNAPE:
Don’t move, Potter. I’ll get rid of it for you.

PROFESSOR LOCKHART: Allow me, Professor Snape. Alarte ascendare!

HARRY:
Sya- hassa- she. Sya- hasi- heth. Sya- hasi- heth.

SNAPE:
Vipera evenesca.

JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY: What are you playing at?

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – Gryffindor common room - daytime

RON:
You’re a Parselmouth? Why didn’t you tell us?

HARRY:
I’m a what?

HERMIONE:
You can talk to snakes.

HARRY:
I know. I mean, I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the

zoo once. Uh, once! But, so what? I bet loads of people here can do it.

HERMIONE:
No, they can’t. It’s not a very common gift, Harry. This is bad.

HARRY:
What’s bad? If I hadn’t told that snake not to attack JustinRON:

Oh, that’s what you said to it!

HARRY:
You were there! You heard me!

RON:
I heard you speaking Parseltongue. Snake language?

HARRY:
I spoke a different language? But- I didn’t realize I- how can I speak

a language without knowing I can?

HERMIONE:
I don’t know, Harry, but it sounded like you were egging the snake

on, or something. Harry, listen to me. There’s a reason the symbol of

Slytherin House is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. He could

talk to snakes, too.

RON:
Exactly! Now the whole school’s gonna think you’re his great- greatgreat

grandson, or something.

HARRY:
But I’m not... I can’t be.

HERMIONE:
He lived a thousand years ago; for all we know, you could be.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – Study hall - night

OTHERS:
(whispering)

HARRY:
I’ll see you back in the common room.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – corridor - night

VOICE:
Blood...I want blood...They all must die. Kill... Kill... Kill! Time

to kill.

Scene 19:
Nothing to tell.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – flooded corridor - night

FILCH:
Caught in the act! I’ll have you out this time, Potter. Mark my words.

HARRY:
No! Mr. Filch! Y-you- you don’t understand!

PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Oh!

HARRY:
Professor... I swear I didn’t!

PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: This is out of my hands, Potter.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – entrance to Dumbledore’s office - night

PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL: Professor Dumbledore will be waiting for you. Sherbet

lemon.

LOCATION:
Hogwarts – Dumbledore’s office - night

HARRY:
Professor Dumbledore?

SORTING HAT:
Bee in your bonnet, Potter?

HARRY:
I... I-I was- I was just wondering if you’d put me in the right house.

SORTING HAT:
Yes, you were particularly difficult to place. But, I stand by

what I said last year-- you would have done well in Slytherin.

HARRY:
You’re wrong.

SORTING HAT:
Umm...

FAWKES:
(Brrr...) (Poof)

DUMBLEDORE:
Harry?

HARRY:
Professor! Sir, your bird- there was nothing I could do- he- he just

caught fire!

DUMBLEDORE:
Oh, and about time, too. He’s been looking dreadful for days.

Pity you had to see him on a burning day. Fawkes is a phoenix, Harry. They

burst into flame when it is time for them to die, and then they are reborn

from the ashes.

FAWKES:
(Brrrt)

DUMBLEDORE:
Ah, fascinating creatures, phoenixes. They can carry immensely

heavy loads, and their- their tears have healing powers.

HAGRID:
Professor Dumbledore, sir! Wait! Listen! Professor Dumbledore, sir,

it wasn’t Harry!

DUMBLEDORE:
HagridHAGRID:

In fact, I’d be prepared ter swear it in front o’ the Ministry of

Magic!

DUMBLEDORE:
Hagrid! Relax. I do not believe that Harry attacked anyone.

HAGRID:
Well, of course you don’t, and... Oh... Oh, right. Well, I’ll, umhum.

I’ll just wait outside, then.

DUMBLEDORE:
Yes.

HARRY:
You don’t think it was me, Professor?

DUMBLEDORE:
No, Harry. I do not think it was you... But I must ask you, is

there something you wish to tell me?

HARRY:
No, sir. Nothing.

DUMBLEDORE:
Very well, then. Off you go.

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