Hart to Hart: Old Friends Never Die Page #3

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I've been writing

for the past 12 years.

- Surprise, huh?

- Well, not so much.

You always wanted to write

the great American novel.

Well, I'm afraid that one's gonna

have to wait for a little while.

You don't become a Hemingway

just because you want to,

you have to have it in you.

Oh, you've always had it in you.

The trick was getting it out.

Just like old times.

You may be

right about that, Jonathan.

But in the meantime,

I've been writing mysteries.

Mysteries?

- We love mysteries.

- Really?

Could we have read any of

them or seen any of them?

Well, you might have

stumbled across one or two.

You wouldn't have known it was me.

I've been writing under a pseudonym.

Save the real thing for the real

thing, if you know what I mean.

You ever hear of Stacey Rodgers?

- Stacey Rodgers?

- Are you Stacey Rodgers?

Guilty.

- Hey, that's terrific!

- Really?

Yeah.

We've read most of her books.

I mean, we've read most of your books.

I had no idea.

Anyway, that's what

I'm doing here.

And I've read a couple of your books.

You've done wonderful work.

I didn't know

you were with Raine.

Thank you. I'm not.

Well, not yet.

As always, Jon, you done good.

I don't know what happened

to me in that department.

Things just didn't work

out the way I'd planned.

And it's your fault.

Hanging around with you

all those years,

I guess I just wouldn't

settle for second best.

Just between

you and me, Jennifer,

there was many a night I lay awake

plotting this man's murder.

- Ahem.

- You okay?

I'm fine.

I'm just a little tired.

Its' been a long, long day.

Maybe we could take

this up tomorrow, okay Frank?

How about a threesome? Raine has got

a fabulous 18 hole golf course here.

Hey, I would love that,

as long as it's not too early.

- Ten?

- Fine.

- See you then.

- All right. You get some rest.

- Good to see you, Jonny.

- Thanks, Frank.

Why didn't

you say anything? God!

- What was I gonna say?

- Well...

Gee, Frank, it's good to see

you, and while we're at it

my wife thinks

you're a murderer?

- No.

- Darling, think about it. If you're right,

then you don't want

him to know that you know.

No, that's right.

I didn't think about it that way.

But we just can't do nothing.

Look, we'll meet him tomorrow

for a little golf.

We'll go out on the golf course, have

a little small talk conversation

and then we'll play it by ear.

All right. All right.

- Just relax.

- Mmm-hmm.

- Put your hands together.

- Uh-huh.

- Move them back and forth.

- Like that?

Very slowly.

- Oh.

- Very softly.

- That's good.

- Mmm-hmm.

Ahh!

Have you been

practicing without me?

No, no, no.

It's just beginner's luck.

You wouldn't want to bet

me on the next one?

Joking. Just joking.

Oh, sure. Practicing.

No fair, Jon.

I was just giving Jennifer

some pointers.

Well, I got some good news

and some bad news.

The bad news is the sprinkler

system went bonkers. No golf today.

But the good news is that our

illustrious host, Mr. Alfred

"I Supply My Guests With Everything"

Raine has taken care of things.

Instead of golf, a bunch of us are

gonna do some deep sea fishing.

Hey! I'd love that.

I was hoping to get some

fishing in while I was here.

Well, great, now you've

got your chance.

I'll see you

at the boat in 30 minutes.

- You got it.

- Don't be late.

Darling! Great news.

Guess what?

We're going fishing.

Fishing?

Darling!

Darling, I just spoke with Al.

Frank got a business call, that's

why we took off without him.

- So?

- So?

Don't you think

that's a little convenient?

Well, maybe with a little luck

we could get shipwrecked.

Jonathan!

Just imagine you and me alone for a

weekend on a deserted island, huh?

- Relax.

- I am relaxed.

I'm relaxed.

- Darling, what's wrong?

- Uh, no.

- Feel a little queasy.

- Really?

I think I'll go below.

Is that your stomach?

Catch a big one, darling.

But darling,

I have to tell you something.

Kind of lost my sea legs, here.

Darling.

Oh, Al,

you've got to stop this boat.

- What?

- Don't ask me to explain.

Just stop the boat.

Why, is something wrong?

It's gonna burst into flames.

What are you talking about?

Please don't ask me to

explain, just stop the boat.

Jennifer, my mechanics go over

these boats at least once a week,

there's nothing

wrong with the engine.

How can you be sure?

All right, if it'll make you feel

better, we'll take a look. Hmm?

- Good.

- Ralph, would you see to it?

- Yes, sir.

- Ooh!

Don't you think it's a good idea

to take the fire extinguisher?

- I don't think it's necessary.

- Please, humor me.

Good.

Dear God!

Get me the pliers

from that tool chest.

Well, there's the problem.

That wire's been stripped back

way too far.

This is very sloppy work.

Now, how did you know

about this?

You seemed to know about the

fire before it even happened.

Well, didn't you smell it?

No, I didn't smell anything.

Well, I smelled it very strongly

from where I was standing.

I naturally assumed

it was in the engine.

Well, I guess,

we're all very lucky

you have such a great

sense of smell.

How are you doing?

Oh, fine,

I'm feeling much better.

- You are?

- Yeah.

- Much better.

- Oh, that's nice.

Because I have bad news.

What is it?

Frank Culver

just tried to kill you.

What are you talking about?

Everything that just happened.

It was detail for detail what

I overheard Frank planning.

Darling, you heard Al.

The motor had faulty wiring.

And I heard Frank.

Get the man on the fishing boat.

Drug him so he'll go below

and go to sleep

and then burn the boat.

And, ha-ha,

Frank so conveniently missed

the proverbial boat.

I don't understand. Why would

Frank want to kill me?

I don't know.

But didn't he say he was

thinking of killing you?

Oh, people use that expression

all the time.

Well, maybe he was jealous

of your success

after all these years.

Well, I'm sure there's a reasonable

explanation for all of this.

Don't stare at me, squirt.

Go on, get something useful.

Hey, Max. How's it going?

It's going, Duke.

I need a tip.

Sort of... Inside stuff.

The Fifth at Santa Anita.

I'll guarantee it.

Not the ponies, Duke.

Stock market.

The stock market?

What are you, nuts?

Nah, stick with the ponies,

Max, it's a lot safer.

Come on,

you can do better than that.

Safer or not, I got to find out

who's buying up the hot

industry stock.

What kind of buying

are we talking about?

Big boys.

Forget the kiddie stuff.

How come your boss isn't

doing this himself?

He and Mrs. H are out for the big

bash at Alfred Raine's place.

Alfred Raine, the publisher,

the guy with the island?

The shoe was better than that.

Come on, squirt. Try again.

That's the place.

Okay, Max, but I'm a bookie.

I'm not real comfortable

with these stock market types.

Thanks, Duke.

Where's the mutt?

What do you got there, squirt?

Oh, my God!

Bring that back!

Uh-oh. Let's get out of here.

Hey, uh, Jonathan, Jennifer.

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