Hatchet II Page #4

at all the gators around here?

It's like a f***ing farm.

I guess that's what

Reverend Zombie's talking about.

Look at all these.

Nobody here to take 'em.

Hell, I ain't leaving here

empty handed, that's for sure.

What's your name?

Chad.

Cleatus.

Really?

Yeah, I know.

My parents were true rednecks.

I got a brother named Cash.

It's cooler than Cleatus.

No offense.

None taken.

But Chad, that's, uh,

that's a real douche bag name.

You know that, right?

It's betterthan Skip.

That's my little brother.

Chad and Skip?

God damn, you two must have had your

asses handed to you in school.

Yeah, we did.

So how come we don't get ride in

the boat with them boys up there?

I take my own boat wherever I go.

What the hell for?

ln case I hook up.

Who are you gonna

hook up with out here?

Her.

Aw, f*** her.

Biscuits and chicken and gravy,

and biscuits and chicken and gravy,

and chickens with the biscuits

on the gravy with the biscuits

and the chicken.

Want some biscuit

for the biscuit is me.

So what's with a whole lynch mob?

Safety in numbers.

I know most of these folks think

this whole story is ajoke,

but if something bad goes down,

I'd rather be surrounded by

the big guns.

Wouldn't you?

I thought you said you couldn't kill him?

Ah, but if the legend is true,

then there really is a ghost

or maybe not.

I hurt him last night.

I shot him, I stabbed him,

I burned him.

He kept coming.

But you hurt him.

He went down every time.

He felt pain.

Then maybe the thing is to

hit him even worse.

Hit him so hard, take his head off,

so he can't come back.

What did you call him,

a repeater?

But doesn't that mean that he will

just come back again the next night?

I don't have answers,

only theories.

But I have to assume that, uh,

if we take off his head,

then he can't come back at all.

All these people are in danger

and they don't even realize it.

Boss.

He-he--hey, boss!

Did Shaun get off the boat?

I'm sure they're okay.

That's why we're here.

Sup?

Hi.

I'm Vernon.

Marybeth.

What you doing out here in this bullshit?

I'm not looking for a date,

I can tell you that much.

Ooh, no disrespect,

I'm just trying to be friendly.

Sorry.

I'm just having a really bad day.

Well, what you need to do is

turn that frown upside down.

Oh, thanks, Vernon.

Make out with me.

What?

On this boat,

in front of all these people?

Yeah.

Don't.

Okay, man, okay.

There're some freaks

on this boat, man.

What's up with that

Blair witch, man?

I'd tap that but she probably

got cobwebs sealing it up.

Even if I did hit that,

a bunch of bats

probably come flying out of it.

Voodoo.

Magic.

Just keep your eyes open.

Open.

This will be a long night.

Man, it is dead in here.

Where we're going,

it gets much thicker.

It's almost nightfall.

Let's move!

- Hey, how much farther to the house?

- What house?

I'm not exactly sure.

This all looks the same to me.

We didn't walk far.

I'm just not exactly sure

where we got off.

Why'd you guys get off the boat?

Well, I don't wanna linger.

- Let's get to the house.

- What house?

My daddy and my brother

are in the shed.

Why were they in the shed?

What house?

It's scary out here.

Oh, that'sjust 'cause people

want you to think it's scary.

It's no different

than any other swamp.

Have you noticed that

there's hardly even any birds?

Doesn't matter.

But don't let that

clown spook you.

All you gotta do,

hang out here for a few hours,

collect our money, and go home.

Screw that.

I'm taking out that

Crowley monster guy.

5000 bucks,

I could be out of debt.

Ha! Out of all these guys,

you'll get him?

I'm a better shot than you.

That's not true.

Okay, Garden District Fair,

two years ago.

I was drunk and I let you win.

Right, kinda like how you let me win

at air hockey and at pool?

I was sick.

You're adorable.

F***ing mosquitoes!

Hey, man.

I got some spray if you want.

Yeah.

Sweet. Thanks.

Do you believe the whole

ghost story about this place?

I believe there was a story,

but I believe there's a ghost

that can actually hurt somebody.

Right.

Look, I've been thinking

if a ghost takes on physical presence

and manifests itself,

then what's to stop it from

going after somebody?

Damn, man, you need to stop

watching The Syfy Channel.

If that ghost does manifest his ass,

I'll shoot his head off.

Hey, man,

you want some bug spray?

Man, he don't talk a lot, huh?

What, who, John?

No, man he's a riot.

He used to do stand-up down at

Fancy Wigs, man. Real hilarious.

- Seriously?

- No.

Hey, man,

careful with 'em cigarettes.

They'll kill you, you know.

Shut up, Chad.

D*cks!

Well, where the hell are we going?

I don't know, okay.

We came in a different way.

Just how much farther in

you expect us to go, little girl?

Yeah. I'd like to stay

closer to the boats.

Uh, we came in through there,

so the boats are a straight shot back.

So what now?

Let's surround the area,

if Victor Crowley really does exist,

this is where we find him.

So is this some kind of

Victor Crowley call or something?

So, what,

we break up into groups?

No.

That's a bad idea.

No, no. He's right.

That way, we can

cover more ground.

All right now, if you see that

monster out there, shoot.

Now, wait just a damn minute.

We don't want a bunch of spooked

people walking around this swamp

shooting at everything.

Man, who you calling spooked?

I'm going with the big guy.

The f*** you are, boy.

I'm fixin' to keep a eye

on my money.

Come on, let's find that

shed and get out of here.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wait a minute!

What's the plan?

The plan?

We meet back at the boat at sun up.

And if you do find that monster,

bring back his head... 5K.

Trent, you come with us.

What do you want to do?

Stick with these guys tonight.

Wait here till tomorrow

and get out of here.

Well, all right,

this hunter's Daddy Eddy.

I don't want to hang out

with these idiots all night.

All right, come on.

Whoa-whoa, hey, man, what, you're

going to take the pretty thing in the

swamp with you?

Yeah, man. We're cool.

Thanks.

Oh, okay, I get it.

Y'all a couple

or something, huh?

My bad.

Hey man, I got an idea.

Why don't we all just split up?

Hey, better yet,

let'sjust go skinny dipping.

Hey, I don't know about you.

I'm gonna go catch me a gator,

hang out down by the boats.

Well, I like the idea of

sticking near them boats.

I don't want nobody

leaving without me.

Stick with me, pal.

Make it worth our while.

And then, it wasjust us.

Are you scared, man?

Boo!

Ow.

Damn it!

Swamp overflowing with gators

and I can't hit one!

You gotta lead it more.

Dude, I know how to hunt.

Yeah.

That's why you keep missing.

So, uh, are we supposed to

stand around here all night?

Unless you want to go sniffing

around in there with them a**holes.

No, no.

I'm good here but,

man, 5000 bucks...

To hunt down a children story?

Good luck!

And the only reason Zombie's

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