Haunted Honeymoon Page #5

What are they looking for?

They could ruin things.

- Dr Strickland didn't have the police, did he?

- I could kill them!

- Don't worry, Dad. There's plenty of time.

- There is not.

- That's my lightning machine.

- Where's Vickie?

- She's in the powder room.

- What is that supposed to mean?

I assume she's powdering her nose.

- There's something fishy here.

- That came from the garden.

Come on.

- Pfister!

- Master Larry, you did frighten me.

- What have you got there?

- The other body.

- What other body?

- He was under your cousin.

I was about to bury them.

- Hey, what's going on over there?

- Get rid of the bodies! They'll think I did it.

- They must be around here somewhere.

- There!

Hey, who are you people?

What are you doing?

- Stay right where you are.

- We got you covered, so no fast moves.

What the...?

- Mr Abbot.

- Hello there. What a beautiful night, isn't it?

Isn't it romantic?

Drifting shadows write the oldest magic word

Oh, to be dancing with the woman you love,

just before the wedding.

Darling...

The woman you love? You mean, this is...

Boys, meet Vickie Pearle.

How do you do, Miss Pearle?

Holy mackerel, wait till I tell the kids.

Gosh, could I trouble you for an autograph?

Well...

- Am I imposing too much, Mr Abbot?

- No, that's all right.

- Do you have pencil and paper?

- Sure.

- What's your name?

- Bill.

All right.

Could you hold the pad steady,

please? There you go, Bill.

Thanks, Mr Abbot. That's awfully nice of you.

- Quite all right, Bill.

- We'll leave you two lovebirds alone now.

Come on, Mickey. Weren't they nice?

I love show folks. They're so full of life.

I'm ready, Charles.

Charles?

Charlie? Hey, where'd everybody go?

I woke up in the woodbin

and saw you go to the kitchen.

Then this fiend crossed straight in front of me.

He couldn't have been more than...

Oh my! Pfister!

Help! Someone help!

He couldn't have been more than what?

Paul! Francis!

Charles!

Whoever your werewolf is, he's gone now.

I saw him just a few moments ago.

He was standing right here.

Aunt Kate, don't start again

about one of us being a werewolf.

This is the 20th century.

People don't become werewolves.

Are you so sure?

- Excuse me. I want to see who they are.

- Don't!

I'm sorry, Francis. Your son is dead.

- He's been murdered.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, dear God in heaven!

- I'm so sorry, Francis.

- Who was the other man?

- We don't know, Francis.

Dr Abbot. Where's Larry?

- Aunt Kate saw him here with a werewolf.

- Cut the bullshit.

I just want to know where Larry is.

I don't know where Larry is.

If I did I'd tell you, I swear to God.

- There's a homicidal maniac loose.

- Where are the police?

- They're gone. I saw them leave.

- Should I call them?

Yes, you'd better. All right, let's spread out.

- Men check the grounds, the women inside.

- Come with me while I call the police.

- Kate.

- Go on, find Larry.

I'll stay here with Pfister. Go on.

- Are you sure?

- Go on, go on.

Larry, stop whimpering.

Stand up straight like a big boy.

You've got to help Mummy.

This is a very special day.

Look at your tie.

It's all twisted again.

Try to keep it straight, honey.

Just a little while longer.

I don't want anything to go wrong today.

What are you afraid of?

That old lightning?

Lightning can't hurt you, honey.

Everyone knows that.

I know it's late, Officer,

but this is an emergency.

No. No, I'm not imagining things.

I don't care how many times

you've been out here already!

Two people have been murdered.

Is that important enough for a phone call

in the middle of the night?

Get out here or I'm calling the mayor.

You'll be looking for a job by the morning.

OK. We'll see you in a few minutes, then.

That guy got me angry.

Still, they'll be here in a couple of minutes.

So why don't you just relax, huh?

What's the matter? What are you staring at?

- Nothing. You were so angry. Good for you.

- Oh, yeah. Here.

Larry isn't the only actor in the family.

- You filthy, murdering skunk.

- I was just trying to earn a buck.

I'm the good boy, not cousin Larry.

I'm smarter than cousin Larry.

I'm better-looking than cousin Larry.

And I'm gonna be a hell of a lot richer.

That vase cost me 5,000 dollars.

There are only three like it in the world.

- Two.

- You... Two.

Hold this. Oh, well.

Oh.

- Darling...

- Let's get on with this wedding, my dears.

And do you, Vickie Pearle,

take this man to love, honour and cherish...

- until death do you part?

- I do.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Wait! Oh, wait.

Before this moment is over

I want to say that this house...

has been under a cloud of darkness

for so many years...

and now, at last, the cloud has pissed...

passed.

Passed.

Yes, oh... I mean...

Ah, I mean...

the cloud has passed away.

Oh, it's gone, it's finished.

The cloud has just really passed.

- Run along, you two.

- Goodbye, Aunt Kate.

- We love you.

- And have a happy, happy honeymoon.

Tune in next week when Manhattan Mystery

Theatre presents Your Mummy's Calling,

brought to you by Ralston Purina,

makers of Purina Dog Chow.

We're a little late, so good night, folks.

OK, you two lovebirds,

let's get this show on the road.

I said "pissed". Did you hear?

I said "pissed" on the radio.

- Here you are.

- Thank you. Bye.

Oh, you... Goodbye, goodbye.

Oh, goodbye.

I don't believe it. They got married on the radio

and now they're getting married in real life.

- Call me tomorrow, honey!

- Get the hell outta here!

Sometimes in small ways

We may not agree

But we will weather

Our chips together

Wait and see

Before you all settle back into

the cosy comfort of a happy ending,

let me ask you one question.

Are you so sure

that our story has ended?

Mmm?

Until next time, this is your host

wishing you pleasant dreams.

And then you twist around

And twist around with all of your might

Spread your lovin' arms

Clear out a space

You do the eagle rock.

With style and grace

You put your left foot out

And bring it back.

And that's what we call

"Ballin' the Jack".

Spread...

Your lovin' arms way out in space

Do the eagle rock. With style and grace

You put your left foot out

And bring it back.

And that's what we call

"Ballin' the Jack".

And that's what we call

Ball...

"Ballin' the Jack".

"Ballin' the Jack".

"Ballin' the Jack".

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