Haunted Honeymoon Page #4

- Good night, Sylvia.

See you in the morning for breakfast?

- Yeah.

- Bye.

Bye.

Good night, honey.

Good night, sweetheart.

Beat it, while you're still healthy.

- Jesus!

- Sh!

Where you been? You're late.

I came looking for you.

I couldn't get away. Where's the body?

- I didn't know where to put her.

- Him.

Him. He's in an empty bed on the second floor.

Are you crazy? I can't have the police

snooping around this place.

That's your problem. This is too risky.

Just pay me, I'm going.

- You goofed up once today.

- Don't blame me.

He was in a dress and a wig.

How could I know?

- You'll get your money when the job is done.

- I'll get my money tonight.

Or I'll tell your whole family

what you're up to.

You wouldn't know about the change

in the will if I hadn't told you.

- I want Larry Abbot dead.

- Kill him yourself.

You wouldn't have to hire people like me

if you had the guts to kill...

I'm all by myself and I'm very, very scared.

Gee, ain't you a swell little duck?

Are you afraid of werewolves?

Are you kidding?

The werewolf will eat me up.

Would you like to give me

a little kiss?

I'm a little shy, but OK.

Aren't you scared to be

in this great big house?

What? Scared?

Are you kidding? I'm not afraid of anything.

- Uh-oh.

- Sh. Don't be frightened, Vickie.

I need your help.

Yuck.

It's cold in here. Oh, what a day.

Why, you little devil.

You did it, didn't you?

I didn't think you'd have the nerve.

Oh, darling...

What a great gift you're giving to me.

I'll cherish this night for the rest of my life.

Say, you're very quiet, aren't you?

What's the matter, honey?

Are you shy?

You want me to make the first move?

Come here, cookie.

Oh, honey...

Want to play Donald?

Oh, baby, oh...

Go slow. Go slow, honey.

Oh, sweetheart.

Honey, your little body is frozen.

Your legs are like ice.

Well, maybe this'll warm you up.

Pfister, thank goodness.

Something terrible has happened.

- I found cousin Francis in my bed.

- Wearing a dress?

Yes, he was.

Ask him to leave.

Say you have a headache.

No, you don't understand.

Francis Junior is dead, do you hear?

- He's dead.

- You must be mistaken, sir.

No, come in here, please.

I'll show you.

- Do you see him?

- I think you'd better take a look, sir.

- This can't be.

- I'm afraid so, sir.

I'm telling you I felt a cold dead body

lying beside me in bed. Do you understand?

I feel that every night. Warm brandy helps.

- Are you sure you'll be all right, sir?

- Mm-hm.

Good night, sir.

Whoops, there goes my imagination again.

- Beg pardon, sir?

- Nothing, Pfister, thanks. Good night.

Good night, sir.

Pleasant dreams.

All right, no more nonsense.

You were right, honey.

It was just my imagination.

Now, you'd think this would frighten me.

Well, it doesn't. Because I know that this is

just a filthy figment of my diseased imagination.

And all I have to do to prove it

is simply reach out my hand...

and touch it.

Don't be a scaredy-cat. There's nothing there.

Just touch it.

Larry...

Larry...

Larry...

Larry...

What the hell's going on over there?

- That's the Abbot place, isn't it?

- We better take a look.

Ah! Who's that?

- Pfister!

- Master Larry.

Oh, thank goodness.

Look, it's cousin Francis.

He's dead!

- That's what I was trying to tell you.

- You killed your own cousin.

What? Remember I tried to show you a body?

You're the werewolf.

I've gotta tell your aunt.

Wait a minute. Will you listen to me?

- Somebody killed him and dragged him here.

- You did, you fiend.

Are you crazy? Will you let me explain to you?

There's something fishy

going on here and I don't like it.

Now please stop eating

and tell me if everything's all right.

- Murderer!

- Yes, everything's fine.

- What was that?

- My husband in the cellar, drunk as usual.

Oh, yeah? Well, I think we'd better

take a look ourselves.

Thank you for the cake, ma'am.

You've got the disease,

the curse of the werewolf.

The beast is in your blood.

Ow!

- Hold it right there.

- What?

- Just keep sitting right where you are.

- Sitting?

Oh... All right.

We heard some hollering down here.

Oh, you mean...

You filthy beast! I'll kill you! Murderer!

- You some kind of crackpot?

- No, I was just going over my lines.

- Who are you?

- Larry Abbot. My aunt lives here.

Larry Abbot? Holy smokes.

You mean the radio actor?

Yeah, that's me. I was just going over my lines.

Murderer!

You have to get it right

or the audience won't believe you.

- That was you we heard?

- That was me.

I didn't want to disturb the folks upstairs

so I came down here to sit and relax and...

...go over my lines.

- What brings you here, Mr Abbot?

Getting married.

- Really?

- Yeah, finally gonna do it.

- You boys must know her. Vickie Pearle.

- Hey, that's exciting.

Yes, sir. It's the biggest thrill of my life,

I can tell you that. What the...?

- What are you doing, Mr Abbot?

- Rats. Something terrible.

It's the only drawback really

to rehearsing down here.

Have you seen the butler?

He's supposed to be down here.

No, no... I haven't seen him.

Ho ho ho ho ho

Forget your troubles, come on, get happy

We're gonna chase all your blues away

Boo, boo, shout hallelujah

Come on, get happy

Get...

ready for the judgement day

Oh. I have to sing in next week's programme.

If you don't mind, I'll take a look around

before we go, for safety's sake.

- Sure.

- Well, good night for now.

Good night.

- Night, Mr Abbot.

- Good night, nice of you boys to drop by.

Murderer!

That was phoney.

Murderer...

Mmm... better.

Why, you filthy beast.

- Come on, Bill.

- I'll kill you. Murd...

That was a close call. Poor old Pfister.

Sorry I had to hit you, old fella.

How you doing?

Pfister, do you know where Vickie is?

Pfister, can you hear me?

- Pardon.

- Oh, dear.

Who is it? Who's there?

Is someone there?

Pfister, is that you?

Madam Kate was right. I saw it.

- You saw what, you drunken sot?

- The werewolf.

- What?

- It wasn't Master Larry.

What are you babbling about?

The police were here. Did you know that?

- I've got to hide Master Francis.

- What?

Master Larry's innocent. I must hide that body.

- Give me that.

- It's mine.

- Give it to me.

- It's my last one.

Pull free.

"When the wine runneth red,

it biteth like a serpent".

Vickie!

Vickie!

Larry...

Ow, this thing's pinching my butt.

Just hang on for a minute, Vickie.

Hang on. God!

I should never have let your father

talk me into this.

Vickie, would you hold still, please?

I can't control this if you move around.

If you want my opinion, I think

this Strickland thing is a lot of baloney.

Ow!

- Could you let me down for a minute?

- Why?

- I gotta go to the powder room.

- Vickie!

I gotta go to the can. What should I do?

Hold still. Just hold still.

All right. This is gonna be some wedding.

A loony for a husband

and Peter Pan for his wife.

- Isn't it nice Mr Abbot's getting married?

- Shut up and keep your eyes open.

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