He Said, She Said

Here you go, sir.

You're looking great today,

Mr Hanson.

All right, people,

twenty seconds to air.

Fifteen seconds. Where's Lorie?

Five, four, three, two...

Perkell Heating and Cooling

brings you He Said, She Said.

Your commentators,

Lorraine Bryer and Dan Hanson.

The issue today, Proposition 41,

the highway merger.

Good afternoon, Dan.

Proposition 41,

on the ballot in October,

would provide for a new connecting spur

to merge Highways 710 and 88.

In my view, this merger

is long overdue.

It would improve access and boost

growth, especially in outlying areas.

I know what you'll say, Dan: Proposition

41 can wait, there's no need for it now.

But in two or three years

it will be too late.

We must go forward or we stop.

Now is the time.

That's the way I see it.

Lorie, you're

over-intellectualising again.

Common sense says we don't need

a merger. These roads are working well.

It would just add to spending, traffic and

congestion in an already crowded area.

And the outlying areas

that you speak of

have reached a plateau

where further growth is not expected.

There's nothing wrong

with the status quo.

As my Uncle Olaf used to say,

"Why fix it, if it ain't broken?"

And that's the way I see it... Ow!

Christ!

Commentators' opinions are not

necessarily those of station WBAL.

Excuse me, please. This is it.

She's gone too far this time.

- What did you do to her?

- What did I do? She went nuts on air!

You must have done something.

You shouldn't make

a rebuttal with a blunt object.

Here, you do this,

it's too disgusting.

I hope Weller wasn't watching.

It's all right, he's going to be fine.

Get back to work. Please.

Emily, find some aspirin.

Look at all those calls, Mr Thurman.

Hundreds of them.

Vultures. Can't wait

to see what happens tomorrow.

Yeah, neither can I.

Wait a minute.

They all can't wait till tomorrow.

This could be the best thing ever.

- If we promote this right.

- I just spoke to Weller's secretary!

You did?

This could be good. He loves

this kind of stuff. What did she say?

- She said he would call.

- Did you hear that? She said...

Wait a minute. Weller is going to be

calling me? On my phone, personally?

This could be bad, very bad.

He only calls personally

if he wants to hurt you. We're screwed.

Wally, sit down, relax.

You don't know what he's thinking.

- It may not be that bad.

- Not that bad?

Will he still want you after today?

Lorie blew the deal.

Look, I'll find Lorie,

I'll talk to her.

What do we say? He's spending

a fortune, and you break up on air.

We're not breaking up.

This is how me and Lorie are.

We always have been.

Hi, this is Lorie Bryer, I'm

with the people section of The Sun.

Yeah.

Hanson. Yes, hello.

Thanks for calling me back.

I'm doing the obituary

on Professor Hollis.

I was wondering,

what time is the wedding...funeral?

Thank you. Does the family

have any special requests?

In lieu of flowers. Great.

Thanks very much. Bye.

Puce. This is definitely

Pulitzer Prize material.

This will turn journalism on its ear.

No small jobs here, Miss Bryer.

A newspaper is a daily miracle.

And we're all part of it.

Diana.

You look incredible. It's your hair,

you found your cut, right?

Are we still on for Friday?

It's my sister's birthday.

Make it Saturday?

Sure, absolutely. No problem.

My entire schedule is at your disposal.

Sheila, Sheila.

Can we change Saturday to Friday?

- It's my sister's birthday.

- Sure, Dan, I can do that.

Thank you. Thank you.

- You're an angel.

- Thanks.

Dan.

- Dan.

- Sh*t.

Dan?

Lousy, self-centred,

three-timing jerk.

Scumbag. Oh, God, I fell for it.

Now I find out he's got a girlfriend.

- You all right?

- Take my advice, stay away from him.

Never go out with him.

There's no chance of that.

I don't go out with cowardly scumbags.

What does everybody see in him?

He's not that good-looking.

He thinks he's charming

with all this boyish stuff.

And I can't imagine

the sex would be any good.

Well...

How many Es in "sleazeball"?

A note is good, but make

a much more dramatic point!

- You ought to break something.

- Great idea.

One of his models.

No, the Wolfman.

That's his favourite, I think.

Oh, no. I couldn't do that.

Have you heard him talk about the

Wolfman? It brought tears to my eyes.

Look, just do me a favour, OK?

Next time you see him,

you kick his butt for me.

- You got it.

- OK.

You... Don't say a word.

- You told her to trash Wolfman.

- You deserve it, lying to that poor girl.

Am I responsible for the personality

disorders of every girl I go out with?

I told Janet I see other women,

I don't lie.

You help old ladies

cross the street, too?

I happen to have

seventeen merit badges.

And by the way,

sex with me is very good.

I'm sure.

Why, have you heard something?

What have you heard?

Nothing, nothing.

There've been a lot of rumours since

Monroe announced his retirement.

So I've decided to give young

Mr Hanson here a crack at his column.

Congratulations.

Christ, Ed! I wish you hadn't done that.

Dan...and Miss Bryer,

in my office after this meeting.

Technically, the op-ed page

is Ed's territory.

But I wish he'd told me

he'd promised the column to you.

We've decided, in a most Solomon-like

fashion, to give you both a shot.

You know

the public sculpture story? Good!

Don't imitate Monroe.

Use your own style and opinions.

1,500 words on my desk

by five o'clock for publication tomorrow.

May the best man win...

or the best woman.

- This really sucks.

- Tell me about it.

Don't tell me you're done already.

Do you think at all, or do you just type?

I don't need to think.

Common sense tells me what to say.

Common sense, huh?

Tell you what:
I'll wait so we can hand

them in together, to give you a fair shot.

So my years at journalism school

were a waste of time?

- I'm not a journalist.

- I wouldn't brag about it.

- I'm a newspaper man.

- Pithy. Dumb, but pithy.

- Listen...

- Listen...

Go ahead.

After tomorrow, one of us will never

speak to the other again, so I...

How about dinner?

Here you are.

And you, sir.

- To my new column.

- The paper isn't out yet.

- Why not take the rest?

- I just wanted a taste.

- Dan.

- Susan.

Hi.

You look fantastic. Your hair's great.

That's you, that's your cut.

Thank you. And for the flowers.

You remembered I like 'mums.

You got them, I'm glad.

Susan, this is Lorie.

She's...got the cubicle

across from me.

I didn't mean to interrupt. Maybe

we could get together next week.

Great, call me. But don't

change your hair, or the deal is off.

- I won't. Bye-bye.

- See you.

- Don't say a word.

- I do not believe you, it's amazing.

It's like watching

some creeping fungus at work.

Believe it or not,

some people enjoy my company.

All I'm saying is, from what

I've observed of you and your women,

the level of hurt, outrage and distress

you inspire can only be termed massive.

- Does she look hurt to you?

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