Head of the Family Page #2

Susie, I'm a big boy.

Oh, you're a big boy, Lance.

Only Howard Oates is

even a bigger boy.

He finds out about

you and Lorretta,

he is going to put a loop up

around your neck and drag you up

and down Main Street

on his Harley.

Now if you want to keep

your head on your shoulders,

you had better start using it.

I can't do that,

I can't let her go.

It's a grand passion,

that's what it is.

Being with her, shoot, is

like f***ing a firecracker.

[Inaudible Remark]

Howard's beating

up some guys.

He should be gone

till around midnight.

Yeah. Keep dancing

Scarlet, keep dancing.

Oh, it's a problem all

right, it's a problem.

See what the problem is,

just hang around up back

to trailer park, wait 'till

he walks by, [inaudible].

Well, it ain't the

doing it that's hard,

it's getting away with it.

Now, no matter how you cut

it or slice it, Howard turns

up with a bullet,

somebody's going

to be looking in our direction.

Lance, you're

too smart as all.

God make things complicated,

everybody hates him

and everybody give a

charity if he turned

up dead, so just do it.

You know, if you don't, one day

he's going to do it to the both

of us and that's a

God fearing fact.

Yeah, I know, I

know its-- holy sh*t.

What the hell?

You must took a wrong turn.

Honey, there ain't no

turns off this highway.

Would you look at this?

Some sort of fence or something.

Somebody dragged this across

the road, that's what it is.

It's goddamn stupid of them.

Oh, this is some kind

of weird bullshit.

That's the road to

Stackpool place,

I'm going to go check it out.

You wait in the car?

Lance, you be careful now.

Careful is my

credo, wait in the car.

[ Noise ]

Loretta, we got to go.

Go and leave that

there like that, honey?

Somebody making an accident.

I think somebody

already has candy lips.

[ Noise ]

What was it, Lance?

What did you see back there?

I saw the light,

honey, I saw the light.

What the heck?

Don't worry, young man.

What?

I've done this before.

What?

Many times, Otis.

Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, no.

[ Noise ]

Snow, snow, snow,

snow, snow, snow, snow--

[ Noise ]

[ Inaudible Discussion ]

Where in the same

hill have you been?

I ain't seen you since

the day before yesterday.

Not to worry, Susie, my dear.

Oh, we're in my back side me

and Rey had been

running this place alone.

Shoot Lance, I thought

somebody was sprinkling lime

on what was left of you.

Well, I just had a little

business to attend to out

of town, a very important

business.

It's going to make

all the difference.

Every thing is going

to be peaches

and cream from here on out.

Perfect timing, see, that's

exactly what I was looking for.

Lance, don't you mess

with them Stackpools.

Mess with them?

I ain't go mess with

them, honey.

It's business.

Well, hey there Wheeler,

Otis, and Ernestina.

Look, I was wondering

if I could--

I was wondering if I could

talk to you for just a second,

so hold on right there.

All right, that's fine, you want

to act like a bunch of retards,

go ahead but I know what

you're up to, did you hear me?

I know about that

[inaudible] you guys set

up across the road and, oh,

Otis, man, I know what you did

to that truck hunk of love.

Unless you want me to go to the

law, well, I suggest you talk

to me 'cause, well, you go and

talk to me sooner or later.

All right, you want to

play rough the way you do

with hunk of love.

Well, I wouldn't do that if I

were you unless you want to go

to jail, you move it, get up.

All right now,

what are you going to have

to talk to me sooner or

later, book on that, freaks.

[ Noise ]

Oh, sh*t,

watch the PJs, big gorilla.

You come now.

All right, that's

what I had in mind,

just let me get some shoes.

All right, all right.

If you fight, Otis hits

you, you yell, Otis hits you.

I think I got the

game plan here, Otis.

All right, all right.

Well, we're all here,

nice and cozy.

Holy sh*t, them some

big eyes, brother.

You've met

my brothers and my sister,

Mr. Bogen I don't

believe we've ever met.

Well, I kind of figured it

out and remembered if we had.

No doubt.

My name is Myron Stackpool.

I'm the part of the expression,

the head of the family.

As you have perhaps noted,

we Stackpools all have

our peculiarities.

We're quadruplets, you know,

all born from the same egg.

Theoretically, we should

be identical but well,

strange things do happen.

No, sh*t.

Do you know what you're

looking at Mr. Bogen?

Escapees from a freak show?

You're looking at a

unique biological phenomenon,

forged and medically linked

beings each endowed with a share

of normal abilities and, hence,

to almost supernatural

proportions.

Otis, many times stronger

than any normal man,

Wheeler with eye sharper than

an eagle's, ears like a fox,

nose like a hound dog.

Ernestina, well, I

hardly need tell you

about her special

powers, as for me, well--

Yes, so you're the smart one.

Yes, I should say so.

I'm the brains of the

family, we're linked,

you know, telepathically.

I can't leave this chair but I

could see through Wheeler's eyes

and force my will with

Otis's hands and well,

I need not tell you about

my uses for Ernestina.

One brain controlling

four bodies.

Well, then Myron, I

guess you are the one I need

to be talking to.

By all means, talk.

Now, let's just

say for conversation

that somebody happened to see a

strange old road block a couple

of nights ago and this

fellow here happened

to see Otis here

dragging some poor fellow

out of his pick-up

truck bringing him

into this house while

Ernestina there she drove

that truck around back.

You still got some pretty

deep swamp land back there,

don't you?

Indeed we do.

Nice place to hide

a vehicle, or vehicles.

Now, for conversation,

let's just say

that this fellow happened to see

the license plate of that truck,

a license plate that

read, hunk of love?

Such a fellow might be

inclined to go to the police.

He might, he may and

then again, he may not.

You see this fellow, he's

got himself a whole world

of problems, one major

problem, one big dumb biker

of a problem named Howard

Oates, you know him?

He's the boy that

drives the Harley.

Yeah, that's the one.

Man, far as I'm concerned,

he can drive

that Harley right off the edge

of the earth wouldn't

trouble me none.

Well, why should

we help this fellow

when after all we have him?

No, Myron, its awful silly

for a big old brain like you

to play stupid, it's

not too convincing.

Now, suppose this fellow, now--

well, he ain't as smart as some

but he is smart enough to say,

write down everything he saw

that night and put

it in a letter

and then he drive somewhere and

he finds himself a phonebook

and he gets himself a

lawyer, random like.

And he gives that letter to

the lawyer and he says, "Now,

I'm going to call you ever

so often on a schedule act

and I'm going to stop by all by

myself and if and I don't call

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes