Head Office Page #4

of a sperm whale. A subsidiary

of your corporation is killing sperm whales

for this liver. We all represent groups

who are opposed to this murderous action

against God and nature. Child Psychologists for

a Free Poland Against Whaling! (man #2)

Zionism is fascism. Fascism is murder. Murder is whaling. Whaling is Zionism! (all)

Yeah, right. (man #3)

Larry and I were together

for six years. Then your company

gave him a transfer, and they won't give me

his address. This is bad.

This is very, very bad. You know Larry? You're a very unhappy man. You're keeping us apart. I will not let big business play

with people's lives like this! [gunshots ring] You--you slug! [screaming] Larry! I'm looking for someone

in public relations. They sent me down here. They did? My name is Rachael. I'm here to lodge a complaint

against your company. Okay, that's why I'm here. Look, Mr. Issel, I'm not naive. I realize that these complaints

will be filed away somewhere and forgotten. But we will fight

your criminal company in every way that we can. Here, this is

for you, Mr. Issel. thud! Jesus. What--what's the problem? Too much coffee. [clears throat] Anyway, there are 25,000 names

on that petition. That's the population

of Allenville. If your company closes

the Allenville plant, those people will lose

their jobs and their homes. Because your company

can get a bit more profit by moving the plant

to some poor country, where labor is 10 an hour and you guys own

the government. Gosh, you're pretty. [clears throat] Would you like to sit? No, thank you. If INC pulls out,

this town dies, Mr. Issel! Hey, don't yell at me. I just started here

this morning. Would you like a diet Coke? No, thank you. Now, if INC would let

the workers buy the plant and run it themselves,

they could save this town. That sounds very sensible. Hey, listen, I got to tell you. You're the most interesting

and attractive person I've met on this job so far. That's typical. They always dump us

on some little guy who just wants

to make small talk. Hey, wait a minute. This little guy's

going someplace, fella. Oh, where's that, fella? I'm going to lunch at 12:30. Come along,

and we can talk about this Allenville thing. No, thank you. This photocopy of the petition

is for your boss. How about lunch on Tuesday? This pamphlet

outlines the damages that will be done

if the plant closes. I'm free on Wednesday. Good-bye, Mr. Issel. I'm free on Thursday. Thursday--actually,

I'm free right through 2010! (Bob)

Jane, come on.

Can't we do that afterwards? (Jane)

"Howard Gross's tragic death

was not only a personal loss, but a blow to the entire

public relations division." (Bob)

God, can't that wait? (Jane)

No, no, wait a minute. "As former PR head,

I feel qualified to recommend "Jane Caldwell as the new

PR division vice president. "She is a tough-minded,

innovative, aggressive executive." No, I can do better than that. Now what? Just hold it, Bob. "She is a tough-minded,

innovative, aggressive-- [clicking]

team player." Better, right? [cranking noise] "She has a fine intelligence

and a relentless drive-- "with wit and

a unique femininity. "In short, she's the number one

choice for the job. Signed, Bob Nixon."

What do you think? I think you've upset

my concentration. I'll have it typed, and you'll sign it

in the morning. Deal's a deal. All right, all right, all right. Don't be so angry, huh? Scott, this is

Coach Branch Kipp. You've always been a hero,

Coach. You know, two Super Bowl

championships with all white teams is

quite a feat. It helps to have God

in the backfield. Bob Nixon;

my pleasure. How's the Issel kid doing? Good. Promote him. Just started this week. Promote him. We have to make the San Marcos

move sooner than I thought. I want his father in place. I'll move him

into Jane Caldwell's department. What do you think, Jack? It's-- Perfect. Yes, ma'am. God, it's weird. I'm only 29 years old, and I'm already head of public

relations and communications. I must be blessed. You had a little help. Bob, oh, God. Oh, I appreciate all you did. You were fantastic. Why don't I, uh,

drop by your place tonight? Oh, God, I-I-I'm

up to my ears tonight. I-I've got departmental

meetings all week. When, then? When? When, when, when? Let's see; let's s. Uh, when, when, when? How's the, uh-- how's

the first week in September? That's two months from now. Well, I'm up to my ears, Bob. What do you want from me? Well, you are just screwing

your way to the top, aren't you? I wouldn't be much

of an executive if I screwed my way

to the bottom. Would I? Oh, excuse me, sir;

could you tell me-- You!

Sir? Yes, you, mister! Do you work

for this corporation, or are you a messenger? My name's Rabinovich, sir. I'm a new recruit here. You never wear brown shoes with

a blue suit, Mr. Rubenstein. I just--

It's Rabinovich, sir. You never, ever, ever hold

your glasses together with tape and a paper clip,

Mr. Rosenberg! I did this because--

It's Rabinovich, sir. Glasses now! Now, now, now!

Glasses! You have them fixed

by a licensed optometrist. Shoe, shoe, shoe, shoes! Black only

in this corporation. clap! Mr. Robenstein. Is that for me? It's just a complaint. By the way, you've been promoted to Executive Assistant

Vice President of External Information

and Public Affairs. This is just my first week. Well, then you must have

good friends upstairs. But don't get too excited. It's the same job with 10%

more salary and 90% more title. What is the Allenville 25,000? Oh, that's the population

of the whole town. We're closing the plant. So? Well, I just thought

maybe we should consider the impact on the community. Fine. Write up a report. Write up a report? [peppy electric guitar music] [car honking] (Rachael)

Don't let them close Allenville! Help keep American jobs

at home! INC is working

against the interests of the American people. They're moving their plants

to the Third World, where labor's cheaper. Don't let them close--oh! Nice move. Oh, God. Hey, Rachael. Still protesting, huh? You're really into this. Sorry, I got mustard

on your suit. And I ordered this suit

ketchup-only. That's okay. That's fine. How've you been? Fine. Don't let INC

close Allenville. Save Allenville. You eat here often? [saxophone music] Food's not great,

but I like it. Save Allenville.

Because it's quiet! You can talk! Ma'am, save Allenville. Did you decide

about our lunch? Look, you don't get it,

do you? I don't like you! O-oh. I don't like your company. I don't like what

any of you people stand for. I-I don't stand

for anything. Oh, that's great.

That's great. That's something

to be proud of. No, no, no, I mean

I don't stand for anything you think I stand for. I stand for other things. Oh, so what do you

stand for? Well, honor and truth

and great sex. And air-conditioning-- and life after death. I'm in favor of life after death

with air-conditioning. Betting?

Yeah. I hope your friend knows

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