Heartbeats

---

The only truth

is love beyond reason.

We write about 20, 25 texts a day.

I'd go, c'mon, let's hitchhike

to Miami Beach.

He'd anmer now!

ln 1 sec he's there.

But of course

l fall for that f***ing

arrogant prick Jean-Marc

who takes forever

to anmer my emails.

I'm such a dumbass.

Sometimes

I'm at my computer...

and l panic.

l get all worked up.

l go,

if somebody died

evey time l hit Refresh,

there'd be nobody left alive, f***.

When you go into a bar,

go for groceries,

walk down the street, eat out...

Whose ass do you check out?

When you're on the prowl,

is it tits or c*cks?

Tits, c*cks? C*cks, tits?

It was the cat.

Marilyn. The cat was gone.

I knew right away because

Ididn't hear the tingaling.

He'd put this collar on her...

You know, for midgets...

for Santa's elves. A tiny bell.

He put a bell on, thought it was cute.

You always heard it.

But l came home, she wasn't there.

l went, Marilyn?

No bell.

And the vase...

in terracotta,

that was filled with

pennies and sh*t, on the bumet.

Gone.

So l turn around

and next to the door

just my boots.

No running shoes.

No guy stum at all.

So naturally l tear through

the place at like 250 mph.

He'd taken eveything.

All... all... all his sh*t.

On the kitchen table

there was a sheet of blue notepaper

with, written in Gennan

- cause he was German...

Must still be.

"l don't want to waste my life

Ioving you badly."

You can't be 50-50.

Straight is straight, gay is gay.

And don't bring up

your "mood" crap.

The humidex

doesn't amect your libido.

Or the moon in Aquarius.

Gimme a f***ing break!

l know eveything.

Eveything.

l know where he works,

the restaurants he eats in.

l walked by his building.

Ran into thejanitor.

So l asked him,

dunno the f*** why,

if he was home.

Janitor starts talking about him.

l listen.

l start talking about him,

the little l knew.

As if l knew him

since kindergarten.

One point l realize I'm f***ed.

So l tell him to say

Cindy Rosenberg says hello.

Not to look like a stalker.

If he had any idea...

I am so well informed.

His dad had a stroke in 2002.

His mom owns a multicolored

wooden flowers stand

at Jocelyne's Treasures...

If he knew,

he'd probably enter

the witness protection program

for Mafia stools.

Glenn Close in Fatalttraction.

That's me.

Who is that self-satisfacted Adonis?

The blond?

Nicolas.

County lad. Friend of Sophie's.

Just moved into town.

HEARTBEATS:

- Hello.

- Marie?

Guess who we're meeting Saturday?

Seismography.

You bore cables and sensors

into the ground.

You blow it all up

and you can make maps.

Based on the vibrations

you can see what's underground.

Oil companies pay

200 mill for 'em.

I'm crazy.

We work 92-hourweeks

and with overtime

you take home 1300 a week,

plus a fat tax refund,

cause I'm studying literature

at McGill.

l only do it for the money

and to forget all the sh*t.

At night I read

to exercise my brain.

Kolts keeps you in shape.

- Well?

- Well, what?

What do you think of Nicolas?

He's nice.

Yeah, he's nice.

He's intelligent.

Penonally he's not my type.

Me neither.

Thursday night we enter

a rowdy bar with flashy lights

and order ales and lemonade?

- Hello?

- Hi, how are you?

I'm good, you?

Good.

Guess what?

l dunno.

But Nico sent me a card.

You got one too?

Yeah, l got it this morning.

So, see you Thursday, then?

It'll befun.

Eating your chey, Tery?

Chemies are too meet.

Fudge is 1T times sweeter

than cherries.

Ever play hide-and-seek?

Yeah.

nna play?

Like, on the mountain, maybe?

Sure, but,

do you need to change?

Are you gonna wear that dress,

Cause you...

Sporty.

One bottle ofwine.

Two bottles ofwine.

Three bottles ofwine...

Bunny!

Bunny!

You must've sucked at this game

as a kid.

There was...

l saw a white rabbit.

A pet rabbit that probably escaped.

Marie!

Marie!

His dad knows a stage designer.

Nick asked me to his play.

Cool.

OK.

You have a big bed, right?

Yeah, l have a big bed.

You can sleep here. We'll just...

We'll just squeeze in.

Thanks, man.

Shotgun the side.

l hate the middle too!

No sweat, l like the middle.

Good.

Sleeping tight, Marie?

Not eating, Marie?

I'm not hungy.

An article on the play

l invited you to.

Francis, want me to ty

to get you a ticket?

- It's on Thursday?

- Yeah.

No... I'm busy Thursday.

Too bad.

The play's sumealistic, but it's

based on an Audrey Hepburn movie.

The love of my life.

Thanks. VMth one sugar.

Here you go. That's 2.25 please.

Thanks.

Keep the change.

Bye.

Hey!

- Hey, how's it going?

- Fine, you?

Yeah. What are you doing here?

- l live on Jeanne-Mance.

- Really?

What's up?

l was grabbing a comee

with a friend. She just left.

Funny, cause l just...

Dammit!

I'll just... F***, my comee!

it, lemme show you.

Sh*t, l spilled it all over.

Did l get you? Here you go...

Lucky! Where'd you find it?

I'm for you.

l bought it for you.

Really, Frank...

You're so meet!

- My pleasure.

- Thank you!

You said you liked her

so I thought...

I gotta run.

I'm cooking for a girlfriend.

No womies.

A girIfriend?

Pesto with pine nuts.

There you go.

But thanks a lot.

l can't wait to...

to put it up.

I'm om.

- I'll call you.

- OK.

- See you!

- Bye.

Don't forget your bags!

Your pesto won't...

without the bags.

- Bye!

- Call me!

- Yeah!

- OK!

s it bad?

No, no.

It was vey...

engrossing.

You have amazing eyes.

Hazel?

As banal an iris as they come.

Ahigh IQ is a vital counterpoint

to brown eyes.

Do you ever think of movie stan

when you f***?

No, l don't think of anything.

Do you picture celebrities

during coitus?

Yeah.

But l don't need to with you.

Are you in love right now?

Pains, Migraines and Sonatas

Pretty so-so, huh?

The dialogue was a mess.

So pompous.

l heard the author on the radio.

She called it the work

she least undentood.

These pseudo borderlines...

with their pain fetish

as an escape from existential ennui...

F*** om!

Theyjust need to get laid.

The authors have struck again.

l was irrevocably scarred by

Wild erries and Sodomy.

The characters were so Manichean.

Manichean?

Manichean.

You know, good venus evil.

All black or all white.

Yeah, l know what it means.

l just found it channing

you'd use the word Manichean.

Seems out of character?

No, not at all. On the contray.

There's a little

Vietnamese place near where I live.

It might be

pleasant.

Yeah, totally.

Marie, it's Frankie!

Frankie!

- What's up?

- We just saw the play.

Sh*t, l forgot! It was tonight.

Antony, this is Nico.

Nico, Antony...

Nicolas, this is Jody.

And Clara, Nicolas.

Hi.

Didn't hurt too much

when you fell from heaven?

How was the play?

Disappointing.

That's all? What a shame.

- It wasn't good?

- It was awful.

But those actors are good.

Well, they were awful.

Anyway, it's funny

you came here to eat.

I'm measurable.

The Kinsey scale has T categories,

T degrees.

O) Exclusively heterosexual.

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