Heartbeats Page #2

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incidentally homosexual.

more than incidentally homosexual,

- like Jean.

- Go f*** younelf!

incidentally heterosexual.

more than incidentally heterosexual.

And 6) Exclusively homosexual.

Where do you fall on the scale?

The Golden Coconut Club.

No, Golden Coconut Depot.

Yeah.

We shared a little Californian wine.

And we split a

fried banana.

Then...

we went dutch, because...

I:

well

I wanted it to be clear.

Then I gave her a lift to the metro.

It must've been, 11:15?

And I went for a beerwith friends.

Oh, and my ex was there.

The day he moved in,

it was over. It was over!

No, l mean, it wasn't over, over.

l mean, we still lived together

and had sex and all, but...

But those are details, meaningless.

It was over.

Of coune at first

we didn't want to admit it

cause we felt bad, you know.

The move, all the cargo...

All that... all that stum.

That's a shitload of money

out the window.

That said, mein Hem

is making Euros,

so he can go f*** himself.

I'm like we were...

"We..." I mean, I'll speak for myself.

Me...

For me...

l was infatuated

with the kind of love we had.

He lived in BerIin,

me, on Dorion St, so...

l guess l was in love with,

you know, taking the plane and

l dunno, landing, the cafs,

the cigarettes and...

wind from elsewhere,

his accent.

It doesn't exist.

I'm the concept you love.

You love the concept more than him.

I'm the distance you love.

But when there's no more distance...

When...

when there's no more ocean to cross

and all there's left to cross

is a hallway...

Anyway,

it's over now.

The letter l got two days after

our evening out.

"My dear Julien,

l can't stop thinking

about our enchanting tte--tte.

Your humor and gallanty seduced me.

Yesterday l went to

the Northland Mall with the girls.

l think l found your perFume.

ls it by chance Insurrection

from Colin Arpel, by chance?"

No, it's not.

"My top moment of our night?

Definitely when you kissed me

on the cheek at the metro station,

almost grazing my cheek.

I shut my eyes

and felt transported

to the ChampEURlyses."

C HAN S:

EUR Ll S EUR S.

He calls me Miss.

Uses "vous" with me.

Who are we,

f***ing de Musset and Georges Sand?

P*ssy-footing. l hate p*ssy-footing.

Now he's ruining

all my favorite places because

when he's not there,

having a beer with friends...

When he's not there,

I'm bored.

I'm no fun.

Yet, the weather's nice,

birds are singing, the wine's good...

l mean:
Shut up, b*tch!

But it's no fun.

When he's there, watch out!

Like l popped 5 tabs of speed.

l say hi to eveyone.

l act like I'm straight om the farm.

St Donat. Howdy!

Worst, l hardly talk to him.

But l know he sees me.

You see people even if you don't look.

Like, if you're there.

And I'm looking here.

I see you.

I'm not looking, but l see you.

l know

where you're looking. l know

you're looking at me.

Mother f***er.

OK.

You smell good.

Thanks.

Oh, God...

"Tick-tock goes your biological clock,

but where is Mister Right?

Modern fashionistas,

what kind of man makes you drool?

ofyour dreams."

What, now?

Yeah.

Brown hai... brown eyes.

For sure. Brown hair.

Down to here, about.

Short.

No, short... Well, curIy.

Below the ears.

Almost shoulder-length.

Curly, blond.

And green eyes, maybe.

This is so beautiful.

"ln love when l ask for a look,

what is deeply unsatising

and always futile,

is that you never look at me

from where l see you."

Smoke break. I'll wait outside.

My friends!

My friend!

Where do we put the gifts?

Sh*t, l am so wasted.

l've never been this drunk

in my life!

- What?

- Where do we put the gifts?

Oh yeah, right!

I:

At the end of the hall

the room to the right

of the dining room.

They bought me presents!

That's so cute!

Wow.

He's super drunk.

A boater.

- I bought him a boater.

- Yes!

Beautiful, huh?

l just hope

he doesn't vomit in it.

No, joking.

He'll be super happy. It's cool!

Yours? Yours?

I'm... It's a little...

I'm not as original.

Just some threads.

l wanna see!

You have such great taste!

Orange!

Tangerine.

I'm tangerine.

Blond hair and citrus tones...

always a victorious partnership.

Well, l mean...

Maybe, l dunno...

l've heard that orange

is a safe pick for any skin tone.

Dunno about fluorescent orange,

though.

That may be the exception.

It'll go with my boater.

You look great.

Thanks, that's sweet. You too.

Bling bling!

They're precious.

What a party!

"T'as de beaux yeux, tu sais!"

Know where that's from?

Yeah, sure.

So?

So what?

So what comes next?

l dunno.

"What a party!"

ldiot!

Who's that android?

His mother.

Her name is Dsire.

He introduced me to her.

She said l looked like a 50s housewife.

Who is she anyway?

Captain Spock's wet-nurse?

Or pemaps a prostitute

rom Blade Runner?

Your dress is a tad anachronistic.

So?

This is vintage, dearie!

Not all vintage should come back.

Know what we should do?

No, what?

Go to my aunt's cottage

for the weekend.

She's in Europe.

l know where she hides the keys.

But l have to work.

Just call in sick.

Right.

"Hi, this is Marie,

and l am sick."

"Hi, this is Sick,

and l am Marie."

OK, I'll call.

How are we gonna get there?

Saddle up a cat?

- Magic carpet.

- No, by car.

I'll borrow JP's wheels.

He won't mind.

l better go now.

Who wants to come?

But someone stays.

My mom's bringing some cash.

l need to buy cigarettes.

You'll see, Francis.

My mom's cool.

Can you zip me up?

You're good?

Thanks.

- Shall we?

- Yeah, let's go.

- Later, Francis.

- Later.

Hello.

The party was a f***in' blast.

Have you known Nick long?

- About mo months.

- Two months!

Franois, right?

Francis, right!

He's talked aboutyou.

I'm true, you're a cutie!

Nice place, huh?Afriggin' palace!

His dad pays for it.

That dick thinks

he's King of the World.

l love your...

What you're wearing, your top.

This? Thanks, sweetie.

Got it in New York,

like, 10 years ago.

I'm a dancer, l pack light.

Don't travel much now, but...

Ask Nick.

As a kid he loved being backstage.

His dad thought it was heavy.

Said it was vulgar. "I'm vulgar!"

What's a pair of tits to a toddle

F*** om.

But ask Nick.

l wonder if he still remembers.

The girls were crazy about him,

smothered him with kisses.

He loved it. He was cute.

Yeah.

He must remember.

But we lost touch.

l mean, Miami

Fort Lauderdale, Ixt!apa...

Dimerent time zones.

His dad snatched him back, pronto.

Father kns best.

Say that again.

He's gotta remember.

The dressing rooms.

l brought him this, his allowance.

Grocey, lottey, candy, whatever.

Show him. He's an aimead.

He'll toss it out.

Ciao sweet dough!

Not home?

l hoped to give him a smooch.

Where the f*** is he?

He'll be back. He's out with...

Marie.

You'll tell him, right?

Give him a kiss from me,

huh, twinkie?

He'll be glad, I'm sure.

- Nice meeting you, Francis.

- Me, too.

You are a cutie.

- Bye.

- Have a nice day.

Don't forget to tell him

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