Heartbreakers

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Do you, Angela Nardino...

take Dean Cumanno as your

lawfully wedded husband...

to love, honor, and obey

till death do you part?

I do.

Out of the tree of life,

I just picked me a plum

You came along,

and everything started to hum

You happy, Baby?

I am so happy.

It's beautiful, Dean.

It's everything

I ever wanted.

Yeah?

Like the song says,

"The best is yet to come."

The honeymoon.

Oh, you got a little

bit of cake right...

I think we've put in enough of

an appearance here, don't you?

Come on, let's go.

I believe it's tradition

for the best man to dance...

with the beautiful bride.

Piss off, Leo.

Dean, you can't be

rude to your friends.

I'd love to dance with you.

The best is yet to come,

come the day you're mine

Come fly with me,

let's fly, let's fly away

Just say the words,

and we'll beat the birds

Down to Acapulco Bay

It's perfect for

a flying honeymoon

They say, come fly with me,

let's fly, let's fly away

Congratulations, man.

She's great.

I love your friends.

That's the busboy, honey.

Wow.

You even got me great busboys.

Now let's have one more

dance with the bride and groom.

Oh! Ha, ha, ha!

Are you still nervous?

No.

And thank you for respecting

my religious beliefs.

- I'm really ready now.

- Thank you, God!

I'm ready to do things to you...

that no woman has

ever done before.

How about a...

Oh.

Here it is.

Oh, it's so...

tasteful.

Oh, my God.

That's how much

I love you, baby.

You must love me...

a lot.

Take me, Dean.

Don't tease me.

I'm not...

Not a big fan

of this material.

Oh.

Angela?

Angela!

Oh, no.

Don't do this to me, Angela.

Welcome back.

Oh, my God.

What happened?

Not a whole hell of a lot.

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

Our wedding night?

Oh, I am a bad wife.

No.

No, no, no.

I do got some frostbite

in some very weird places.

Oh-

You've got your whole

life to make it up to me.

And I'm going

to start right now.

Yeah? OK.

Oh!

Ohhh!

Oh, my God,

I'm going to be sick.

Just give me a minute, baby.

I'll be right back.

No, no, no.

There's no rush.

No rush.

Look, I got to stop

by the office...

before we leave

for Barbados any way.

That'll give you some

time to freshen up.

Let me give you

a quick kiss good-bye.

No! No, no, no.

That's OK, that's OK.

I- I'm late.

I'll see you in

an hour, maybe two.

Here. Put it

over here on the rack.

Hey! What the-?

- Nice security.

- Sorry, boss.

I- I went to bed

late last night.

But nothing

compared to you, huh?

Yeah. Is the Mercedes ready?

Yeah, yeah, just about.

We switched the VIN,

and Wendy's making...

the pink slip for

you to sign up there.

All right.

That's a great

wedding present, boss.

Angela's going to go

nuts for it, huh?

Maybe not as nuts as

she went last night, huh?

Huh?

Hey, boss, was

she worth the wait?

Come on-

Hey, hey, hey!

We're talking

about my wife here.

A man's wedding night is his

own private, sacred business.

It's not to entertain

lowlife scum like youse guys.

Angela's got

to be an animal.

Hey, he's even

walking funny, huh?

Hey, back to work, all right.

The break is over,

guys, come on.

Oh! Congratulations, Mr. C.

I heard the wedding

was awesome.

I'm almost through with

the docs on the Mercedes.

Oh, thanks, Wendy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

You need to sign

here and I think...

here.

Is it hard?

What?

Getting married.

I mean, I haven't

been here that long...

but I've already

heard tons of stories...

about you and women.

Yeah, well.

Those days are all over, Wendy.

Forever.

Thank you.

Ah, damn it.

Here. Let me help you.

Mr. Cumanno.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, Wendy.

I- I'm so sorry,

I'm just nuts today.

I can't,

I can't, I can't.

I'm married, Wendy...

I'm married.

I can't.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Screw it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. OK, OK.

Oh, my God.

Thanks.

Is that frostbite?

I'm fine. It's fine.

Piss off,

I'm working here.

Baby, it's me.

Sh*t. Get out.

Take the back stairs.

I can't.

My hair is stuck.

What?

- Dean.

- Honey.

Ahh, ha, hi.

I was feeling

so much better...

I couldn't

wait to pick up...

where we left off.

Oh, that's great.

That's great.

You know what?

I'm just going

to finish up here.

I'll meet you outside

in a sex-a sec.

OK.

I love you.

Oh.

I love you, too.

You look pretty.

Come on.

Come on. Ow.

Get out.

Not so fast.

You are not

welcome down there.

Get up.

I'm trying.

I can't

believe that Mercedes...

Dean.

Honey, honey, this

isn't what it looks like.

I- I swear her hair

got stuck in my zipper.

I- I-I wasn't getting nothing.

17 hours we have

been married.

17 hours!

The happiest

17 hours of my life.

You just lost the best

thing you'd ever had.

Angela, wait.

She seems...

nice.

My client has agreed,

against my advice...

to settle for

a one-time cash payment.

$300, 000.

For one day?

One horribly traumatic day

in which my client suffered...

irreparable psychological

damage to her self-esteem.

Oh, and she keeps

the Mercedes.

What?

Bullshit.

Well, we could drag this

before a judge...

if you think that

would be more favorable.

That would put your client's

business under scrutiny.

What was it again, Mr. Cumanno?

Random repossessions?

Give her what she wants.

I can't believe you

wore the gray dress.

I distinctly said the blue.

- It worked, didn't it?

- You were lucky.

I was good.

Excuse me.

I wonder if I could ask

your help for a moment.

I'm trying to find Route 40.

Route 40?

Well, you're on it.

That's it.

What?

Where is it?

There. See that black thing...

with the lines on it,

the cars going?

I'm so embarrassed.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't know

where it was.

Thank you so much.

My pleasure.

Sorry to trouble you.

It's OK.

Forget it.

You're not going

to kill yourself...

and stink up my new car.

Our new car.

Hey! Mom.

I only do these things

because I love you, Page.

How was the wedding?

Beautiful.

Like all my weddings.

Have you any idea

what that meat...

is doing to your arteries?

Haven't you heard?

Cigarettes

dissolve cholesterol.

No cards, Page.

This is a classy place.

It relaxes me.

So? How did we do?

Not too bad.

How not too bad?

About 80.

Plus the car.

That's it?

For that I lived 4 months in

a crap hotel without cable?

Ugh, I'm so sick of this

small-time bullshit.

Plus, I had to kiss

that greasy mook.

Dean wasn't so bad.

Any way, we'll make more

in the next one.

I'm thinking Seattle.

Maybe San Francisco.

Mom, remember our deal?

OK, there is no next one.

This is it.

I'm going solo.

Oh, here we go-

It's happening, Mom.

Accept it, embrace it, OK?

I am old enough

to be on my own.

You have no idea what it's like

to be all alone.

I'll tell you exactly

what's going to happen.

You'll go off,

you'll get lonely.

Some moron hunk will come along,

you'll think it's true love.

You'd never been so sure

of anything in your life.

And then, bam.

He will pull a

conceive and leave...

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