Heartless Page #2

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F*** me, it is shaped like a heart, man.

I love it!

You love it? You love it? But you wouldn't

want it though, would you?

- You know what Rilke used to say?

- No, who's that?

German poet. 1875 to 1926.

So, yes. I am educating myself, man.

Anyway, this dude Rilke...

- he says that beauty...

- Yeah?

is the beginning of terror.

No, it's not. No, it's f***ing not.

If beauty's the beginning

of terror,

then why are kids scared

to even look at me?

I can't stand all this "Beauty's

only skin deep" crap. Because it's not.

I can't imagine what it would be like

to meet someone I like...

and actually think that, like...

that they might be interested in me.

I'm never gonna feel like that.

I'll tell you what it feels like,

alright? It feels like...

I've got...

this parallel life...

I got this life that I'm living where

people look at me and call me names.

And then I got this other life,

where I'm just like you. I'm normal.

And in that life...

In that life I meet, like,

a beautiful girl and then...

And we do the lot, you know,

we get married, have a nice house.

You know, have a...

have a kid.

A daughter, a beautiful baby girl.

I'd love that.

A chance to be a good dad.

You know, just like my dad was with me.

We pay them to clean the grave.

It's all right, Mum. We'll get it clean.

That's better.

What?

I've left my scarf with your dad.

You're joking.

- Look, I'll go and get it.

- You sure?

Yeah, I'll meet you back by the gate.

I won't be long.

- What's wrong?

- Hm?

You've hardly spoke since

you got me scarf. You all right?

- You sure?

- Yeah. No, I'm all right.

Listen to me, Jamie.

You are a beautiful young man.

Beautiful, kind and generous.

This has never been your problem.

You know that.

It's just the world, Mum...

I dunno, it just don't make sense to me.

You know, it's like I open up the window

and all this madness flies in.

And it's like I've never really known

how to live in it.

You do what we all do, Jamie.

We love.

And allow ourselves to be loved.

You need a family of your own.

Like your brother.

Oh, Jamie...

I know what you are!

I know what you are!

What do you want from me?!

Oh, Jamie, please...

Jamie!

- Jamie!

- Mum, no!

- Jamie!

- Mum! No, please!

- Let go of me! Let go of me! Mum!

- Jamie! Please!

No!

No! No!

No!

Please! No!

Jamie... You're getting closer, old son.

Every time I close my eyes...

he's coming for me.

It's the drugs.

Can you stand up? 'Cos we can get

out of here, I can take you home.

I don't want to go home.

But Mum's killers, Ray. Mum's killers.

The police have got your statement.

The police won't do f*** all.

Come on, let's get you up.

The police don't know what this is, right?

They don't know what they're looking for.

I was there, mate.

I was there. I saw what did this.

I saw what did this.

I saw what killed Mum.

I know what did this.

- Dad?

- I know what did this.

Jamie, you're in shock.

You need some rest.

I'm gonna find 'em,

I'm gonna f***ing kill 'em!

We should think about finding you

somewhere else to live.

- The memories of this place.

- The memories of this place are fine.

All right? It's everything else

that's a f***ing mess.

Tea...

Just get off my stuff, Lee, all right?

Just don't touch anything.

Why's everyone keep picking on me?

I've lost her too, you know!

I've lost her too...

I'll tell you, mate.

She was f***ing hot!

- F***ing hot!

- Keep the bloody noise down!

F*** off, you old bastard!

Show some respect!

F*** off!

I'm not afraid of you!

Look at all Mum's jewellery.

It's her mum's stuff and her mum's mum's.

Must be worth a small fortune.

This is the world that we live in!

Makes me f***ing mad, right!

They take innocent people,

torture them and then they film it. Why?

No, for fun! No other reason. Fun!

This is the world that we live in.

Drives me mad, man!

Are you saying

gangs have made stars out of terrorists?

Yes, terror...

is the new fashion accessory.

There's a whole new

generation out there...

that's grown up watching beheadings

on the internet every night.

They all wear the same clothes,

those black hoods, the masks.

- They're not masks.

- These are the new foot soldiers...

in the family of gang culture.

Violence is...

their mother...

- your father?

- Chaos.

- AJ, you all right?

- Just a bit of trouble, man. Don't worry.

What happened? What happened?!

Oh, sh*t!

All right, man.

Lift up your T-shirt, yeah?

Jesus Christ!

AJ, we got to get you to a hospital, mate,

you need stitches.

No, no, no, man. Just pad me up,

give me lots of painkillers. That'll do.

It's like an animal did it.

You said it, man.

A wild f***ing monster.

I just want to live a normal life.

I don't wanna fight.

So you meet me tonight, let's talk.

Okay, I'll be there.

- Here you go, mate.

- Oh, cheers, man. Thanks.

Cool mobile, eh?

Crocodile.

Crocodile.

Our link with the dinosaurs.

You religious, Jamie?

My mum was.

It's all a load of bollocks, isn't it?

All of it.

Do you know what life really is, Jamie?

A meaningless pile of shitty chaos.

Accepting it...

that's the real bravery.

To know that nothing means anything

and still wanna get out of f***ing bed.

"God's will"!

There is no God.

If there's no God

then there's no force of good...

and that means that there can't be evil.

And there's definitely evil.

I mean...

There are demons.

Listen, AJ. You know what's doing

all of this, don't you?

I mean, you really know.

I've seen the future, Jamie.

And it's a kingdom of horror.

This is the age

Of the silent child

Who's forgotten his name

And sits alone

Waiting for stories

To make sense of things

The darker it gets

The more you see

But it's going to get a lot darker

Before you see me

It's going to get a lot darker

Before you see me...

F*** me, I'm just ringing you!

I've been knocking and knocking.

Where you been?

I just went out... Go to the shops.

Where is it then?

- What?

- Shopping.

What you doing here, anyway? I thought you

gone to Paris, Disney Land, with your dad.

Yeah, well, remedial dwarfs and a mouse

the size of an ape. F***ing nightmare.

- What, he let you come back on your own?

- I'm 17, not seven.

Uncle Jamie... You know that gold heart

I got Gran for her birthday?

I never got it engraved.

And now it's on my f***ing brain.

Stupid, innit? But I wanna do it now.

For Gran, you know?

Where is it? In her room?

Oi. Don't go in there!

That's private.

Your dad put all your gran's jewellery

in the safe, back at work.

At work? I never heard him mention that.

Yeah, well, perhaps he had other things

on his mind, Lee, eh?

Well, you know the combination

to the safe, don't you?

Look, I can't talk about this now,

alright? I'm not in the mood.

I wanna engrave it for Gran, Jamie.

It's doing my head in!

Can't you understand that?

Hey, bruv. Hope you're OK. Listen...

there's been a blow-up with Lee.

He's gone back.

And my credit card's gone missing.

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