Heaven Can Wait Page #7

but I guess it is.

Daddy, when you were as old as me,

what kind of a kid were you?

Well, I was very obedient.

When my parents told me to go to bed,

I went without arguing.

I did my schoolwork,

brushed my teeth every morning.

Gee, Daddy.

I guess you were a wonderful boy.

Well, I suppose I was.

Then old Grandpa

must be a terrible liar.

Well, good-bye, Daddy.

Where does he get it from?

Good morning, Grandfather.

How are you feeling?

- That's fine. Morning, Mother.

- Good morning, Henry.

Mother, I want you to look at this.

- Do you think Martha will like it?

- Oh, it's beautiful.

After 10 years of me,

she's entitled to it.

Yes. Ten years next Tuesday.

- And you'll be 36.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, if your dear father could be here

and share this happiness with us.

I always thank heaven he lived long enough to

see you settle down, become a fine husband...

a good father

and a wonderful son.

Well, it's all Martha.

And only Martha.

You know, Mother,

I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Yes. She's a fine wife,

and she has a good influence on you.

And she's pretty lucky herself.

Yes. Don't be a mother-in-law.

By the way, isn't she

coming down to breakfast?

I didn't go into her room. The opera lasted

till after midnight, so she's probably tired.

Thank you.

- Anything serious?

- No. No. Nothing.

Uh, excuse me.

I'll be right back.

Where is she?

Let me see that telegram.

It's just something personal.

It has nothing to do -

So, you don't trust me anymore, hmm?

I'm getting too old.

Henry...

you mean we've lost Martha?

It's impossible.

It's incredible.

It just doesn't make sense,

Martha leaving me.

What did you do?

What happened?

I don't know how I can

go on living without her.

Grandpa, I love Martha.

I love her more than anything in the world.

I didn't ask you that.

I asked you what happened.

I don't know.

I always thought she was

very happy with me.

I don't know what she's heard.

You know how people talk about anybody.

No man is perfect.

But running away like this -

Believe me.

I - I can't see any reason for it.

If a woman like Martha runs away from

her husband, there must be a reason.

Now look here, Henry.

You were the only Van Cleve

I ever really cared about. I loved you.

You were like me -

at least I thought so.

You were all the things

I wanted to be.

You did all the things

I wanted to do and didn't.

- And now you've let me down.

- Grandpa, I can't live without her.

- What -What am I gonna do?

- That's up to you.

But let me tell you one thing.

I'm an old man.

I might have to go any day now.

And if you can't

make Martha forgive you...

I'll be waiting up there

right in the entrance.

And if you ever dare

to climb up that ladder...

I'll hit you on the head

with a baseball bat.

Jasper!

- Jasper.

- Jasper!

Jasper.

Jasper.

- Yes, sir?

- Where are the funny papers?

Uh, boss, well, now, you see -

- Get 'em, and get 'em right now!

- Yes, sir.

- Good morning, Mrs. Strable.

- Good morning, Jasper.

Uh, it's terrible bad weather

we're having today.

You know, when I see it

pouring like this...

I often wonder,

where does it all come from?

You tell Mr. Strable he'll get

the funny papers when I'm through...

and not one second sooner.

Yes, ma'am.

I certainly will.

Excuse me, ma'am.

Boss...

I just had a very fine

conversation with the missus...

and she says if you'd just be good enough

to give the matter a little patience...

as soon as she finishes

The Katzenjammer Kids I think-

I came down

especially early this morning...

to find out if the captain

got out of the barrel!

This goes on every Sunday,

and I'm not gonna stand it anymore!

- Jasper!

- Excuse me, Mr. Strable.

Yes'm?

You can tell Mr. Strable

the captain got out of the barrel.

Boss! Boss!

Got good news for ya!

The captain is out!

Ain't that fine?

- Now you can have a few more cakes.

- Ah, just a couple.

I can't see how he could

get out of that barrel.

Why, that barrel

had wooden slats...

nailed down

on the top and the bottom...

and there were steel bands

all around it...

and they left it

in the middle of the desert.

Now, how could he

ever get out of it?

You eat your cakes

while they're nice and hot.

In the meantime,

I'll see what I can find out.

- Uh, another lamb chop, Mrs. Strable?

- I don't mind.

About that barrel, the way he got out of it was,

a friendly snake came crawling -

Don't tell me!

You know it's no fun

unless I read it myself!

What are you trying to do,

ruin my Sunday?

Will you tell Mr. Strable

I was talking to you?

Jasper...

the snake came crawling along

in the desert...

wound itself around the barrel,

and then, crunch!

I can't live in this house any longer!

- Mr. Strable.

- What do you want, Daisy?

There's a gentleman here to see you

say he's from New York.

- His name is Van Cleve.

- Van Cleve?

That's the gentleman's name,

yes, sir.

The nerve of him,

trying to walk into this house.

- Tell him to go back where he came from.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Wait a minute, Daisy.

- Yes, sir?

Maybe I ought to see Mr. Van Cleve.

And if I wanna see him, he'll come in.

And if I want him to stay here,

he'll stay right here!

- Now, Daisy...

- Yes, sir?

go tell that man if he's not off these premises

in 10 seconds, I'll wring his neck!

Yes, sir.

I'll most certainly tell him.

- Jasper, get me some fresh hotcakes.

- Yes, sir.

Excuse me, sir, but maybe somethin'

done happened to Miss Martha.

- You talk too much.

- Yes, sir.

- Jasper.

- Yes, ma'am?

Tell that man to come in.

Yes, ma'am.

- Hurry up.

- Yes, sir!

Mr. Van Cleve, if you please.

How do you do?

Oh! It's the other one!

It's Albert.

Hello, Albert.

- How do you do, Mrs. Strable?

- How do you do?

- How do you do, Mr. Strable?

- Well, we haven't seen each other since -

Not since that ill-fated occasion

10 years ago tomorrow.

- Mmm. Had breakfast?

- Yes, thank you.

- Well, sit down anyway.

- Thank you.

- Got some business in Kansas?

- No, I was on my way to California.

But I said to myself, why shouldn't I stop

and pay my respects to those charming Strables?

- Well, what do you want?

- Nothing. Nothing in particular.

- Good.

- Oh, yes!

There is one bit of news.

I'll bet you can't guess

whom I met accidentally on the train.

Probably not.

- How's business in New York?

- Very good.

Well, I don't want to keep you

in suspense any longer.

I met your own daughter, Martha.

Don't mention her name

in this house!

We don't want to hear

anything more about her.

My dear friends...

speaking as a jurist, may I say

that even in our penal code...

we have wisely provided

a system of parole...

and I have excellent reason to believe

that the party-

whose name I, naturally, will not mention

in this house - has amply paid for her mistake.

Good.

And I am sure there is nothing she'd like better

than to come back to the paternal nest.

So she wants to leave him,

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