Hector and the Search for Happiness Page #5

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Buruthi lost his mother

last month.

Listen, if you're not well,

you're no help to your sister.

Good. Good boy.

Stay with him.

Just talk to him.

That I can do.

So, Buruthi...

how old is your sister?

(LAUGHING)

- What?

- Your face, it's funny.

It's like this.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah, yeah.

That's my listening face.

How about this?

(LAUGHING)

You, you're funny.

Oh, am I?

Thank you very much.

- MICHAEL:
You're a big boy.

- (BABIES CRYING)

- (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

- This is gonna be nothing.

- He's gonna be fine.

- (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Gonna be fine.

Mama. Mama!

- Shh, shh.

- (GROWLING)

Is that a...

There's a lion over here.

Michael, there's two lions,

just quite close.

- Excuse me. Excuse me.

- (WOMAN CRYING)

Take off your iPod,

there's a lion really close by.

Is this normal,

to have a lion?

See you, buddy.

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

You know you could always

stay awhile.

We sure could use

another medical doctor.

It's tempting.

I mean, watching you all week.

You are a necessity.

Me, I'm just...

I'm a luxury.

I sometimes feel like psychiatry

comes with affluence.

You know, the richer the city,

the more psychiatrists there are

per square mile.

What does that tell you?

It tells me you're being

too hard on yourself.

Come on, Hector, it's not

some kind of a competition.

The mind can hurt

as much as the body.

And maybe if I seem happy,

it's because I know

I'm loved for who I am.

(LAUGHING)

Okay-

(RINGING)

- CLARA:
Hello!

- Hello.

- Hey, I'm in Africa.

- Wow!

Great. I'm with Michael,

and he hasn't changed.

He looks exactly like he did

in the photo I showed you.

You never showed me

a photo of Michael.

- Didn't I?

- You just think you did.

Mm. I thought I had.

Hey, listen, Clara, about

that last conversation we had...

Hi, boys.

- (SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

- Hey, guys!

Hey-

It's a private conversation.

- Seriously, Clara...

- Hector, you know, I got it.

It's fine.

Let's not make this harder

than it already is.

- Where are you going?

- Out.

- What, like that?

- No, in this.

- Oh.

- It's a work event.

I've never seen that dress.

That dress is new.

- I know.

- (DOORBELL RINGING)

- I've got to go. Bye, Hector.

- What do you mean, bye?

We've only...

Out? Huh.

Okay-

Out.

- Hector.

- Hey.

They told me you'll come.

You're early.

You can get class another time.

So, you are ready

for sweet potato soup?

I've never been readier

in my life.

Well, cowboy.

Clear the way, you amateurs!

Chef coming through.

Chef with a severe case

of the saw bits.

Tit-for-tat, only difference is

I don't need a sexy black dress.

(CHEERING)

Alright, alright, alright.

Yeah, everyday.

Mm-mm. More wine.

More wine, more wine.

More wine, more wine!

(CHEERING)

Aha! Whoa!

Have I said how much

I love this music?

I can almost dance.

Almost.

I see you,

extremely pretty cousin.

Beware, okay?

I have permission.

(CHEERING)

Cheers. Whoo!

- I'm gonna miss you.

- Bye-bye.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you, too.

You're so beautiful.

Thank you.

- Well, thank you, my friend.

- Thank you so very, very much.

Thank you.

Hey, who's available

tomorrow night?

ALL:
I'm available!

Oh, oh, oh,

bless you, my son.

(LAUGHING)

Bye.

ALL:
Sweet potato stew! Yay!

(DRIVER SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

- Oh, okay.

- (SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(EXHALING)

- Oh, okay.

- GUARD 2:
Okay.

(sums COCKING)

- Keys...

- In the cab, man!

Hurry!

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

I want you to go outside.

- Move, move, move.

- Stay there!

Keep-it-handy travel candy?

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Why are you different?

Why are you both different?

What is this place?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

No, you've got to understand.

I'm a psychiatrist.

I'm neutral, I'm Switzerland.

(HECTOR CRYING)

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Look, can we just see this

is one of those

sort of random events that's just

deeply inconvenient for both of us.

Get this piece of sh*t

out of my sight.

(GROANING)

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

No, wait, come back!

Please don't go.

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

- (SQUEAKING)

- (SHOUTING)

MAN:
A losing soldier,

that I will never be.

Soldier go, soldier come.

Barrack remain.

How much do you think

we can get for him?

Forget it.

He's already seen us, d*ckhead.

So, so, what do we do, boss?

Let him rot.

Keep-it-handy travel candy.

Nice.

Once upon a time,

there was a psychiatrist

called Hector,

who was scared to death of dying

before he ever really lived.

I'm sorry, I've never

really been...

See, the thing is...

Would you mind giving me

some privacy?

If you're going to do it, Hector,

do it totally.

She has yet to discover

the words "maternity" or "leave.

You're in it for yourself

like everyone else.

You tricked me.

You hold all the cards,

Hector.

Clara.

Clara!

(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Wait, wait,

where are you taking me?

Please, please...

Ow!

(LAUGHING)

This sh*t's funny, man.

"Happiness is being loved

for who you are."

- Hmm?

- I know. That's true, boss.

(CHUCKLING)

Clara, Ying Li, Clara, Ying Li,

Clara, Ying Li...

What's this one,

it's been crossed out?

It says that the evil

you do in this life

could cost you your happiness

in the next.

No, it doesn't.

I'm sorry, I made that up.

It says happiness

could be the freedom

to love two women

at the same time.

(LAUGHING)

Look, look, look.

I know the police

aren't gonna track me down.

But the thing is I'm really

trying to help a friend of mine

whose wife is very ill.

He's really counting on me.

If I just suddenly disappear,

then he's gonna come

looking for me,

and you do not want this man

as an enemy.

Even if you're friends

with the president himself,

it won't make a difference.

Well, it's not the president,

it's Diego Baresco.

Prove it.

- I can't.

- (CHATTER)

Wait, no, no.

I promise you I know him.

I know him.

- He's a friend of mine...

- Come. Come.

I promise you...

- Shut up!

- (HECTOR SCREAMING)

- Please.

- Why are you here?

I'm researching

the state of happiness.

- Bullshit!

- (GUN C*CKS)

Oh, God!

(LAUGHING)

(HECTOR SCREAMING)

(STAMMERING) I'm...

trying to find the means

by which to make my patients happy.

- Bullshit!

- (GUN C*CKS)

God! Stop it!

Please, stop it.

(LAUGHING)

No, no!

Oh, God!

I want to know

if I can be happy.

(SOBBING)

(SHOUTING)

(SOBBING)

This probably

isn't the right moment, but I...

I just wondered what your

personal idea of happiness is.

You know, personally.

If you want it,

you take it.

That's very insightful.

I just want to...

Would you mind if I just

wrote that down,

just for posterity?

Give him the notebook.

Oh, God!

I don't have a pen.

I just never have a pen.

One last thing.

Um, one final,

final request, I promise.

Would one of you gentleman

mind just making sure

this gold pen finds its way

back to my dear friend,

Diego Baresco?

(GROANING)

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