Hedwig and the Angry Inch

f

Don't you know me,

Kansas City?

I'm the new

Berlin Wall.

Try and tear me down!

I was born

on the other side

Of a town

ripped in two

I made it over

the Great Divide

Now I'm coming

for you

Enemies

and adversaries

They try

and tear me down

You want me, baby,

I dare you

Try and tear me down

I rose from off

of the doctor's slab

Like Lazarus

from the pit

Now everyone wants

to take a stab

And decorate me

Blood, graffiti,

and spit

Enemies

and adversaries

They try

and tear me down

You want me, baby,

I dare you

Try and tear me down.

On August 13,

1961,

a wall

was erected

down the middle

of the city of Berlin.

The world was divided

by a cold war,

and the Berlin Wall was the most

hated symbol of that divide.

Reviled, graffiti'd,

spit upon.

We thought the wall

would stand forever.

And now

that it's gone, we don't know

who we are anymore.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Hedwig is like that wall,

standing before you in a divide

between East

and West.

Slavery

and freedom.

Man and woman.

Top and bottom.

And you can try

and tear her down,

but before you do...

you must remember

one thing!

d

Ain't much

of a difference

Between a bridge

and a wall

Without me right

in the middle, babe

You would be

nothing at all

Enemies

and adversaries

They try

and tear me down

You want me, baby,

I dare you

Try and tear

me down

Enemies

and adversaries

They try

and tear me down

You me want me, baby,

I dare you

Try and

tear me down.

From East Berlin

to Junction City.

Hello, New York;

Hello, Missouri.

What? You wanna try

and tear me down?

Come on and tear-rrr--

Me down!

x

Hello...?

Where is everybody?

Out.

"Out"? Why are you

in such a mood?

I have been having

the most wonderful time with--

do you remember

that 45-year-old divorcee

with the hair

and the mean look?

She came up to me

after the show, and I thought,

"This lady wants

a piece of me."

So I didn't know

what to do.

I was alone,

I had nothing in my hand,

I was gonna go

for the eyes.

She came at me

from both sides, somehow,

and she just gave me

a f***ing hug.

She gave me

a f***ing hug.

Can you figure?

Can you f***ing beat that?

She gave me--

I also got a few drinks

out of it as well,

which was not

a bad...

I was born

on the other side

Of a town

ripped in two

Made it over

the Great Divide

Now I'm coming

for you

Enemies

and adversaries...

What the f***

is wrong with you?

Why can't we...

why don't you write

a new song?

You want me, baby,

I dare you

Try and tear me down...

Thank you,

my name is Hedwig.

Please welcome those ambassadors of Eastern bloc rock,

The Angry Inch.

Here they are.

And my man Friday,

through Thursday,

Yitzhak, ladiesand gentlemen.

There's no need, there's none.

Also very talented and so lucky

to be here, right, boys? - Yeah.

- Yes, Miss Hedwig.

Look out, guys,

lmmigration!

I've got their passports

right here.

f

Ladies and gentlemen,

do you like the pelt?

I want you to be honest,

because some b*tch

stopped me on the way in--

"What poor, unfortunate

creature had to die

for you to wear that?"

"My Aunt Trudy,"

I replied.

Just walked away. Just walked away ladies and--

- Hedwig, can we eat dessert?

- What is it? Yes, you can.

I am thrilled,

you can join me for

the fabulous first night

of the St. Louis leg

of my world tour.

And when it comes

to huge openings,

a lot of people

think of me.

Many more of you,

though,

have only recently

become aware of me.

It took a character

assassination piece like this

to make you finally

pay attention.

But now you're

interested, huh?

Intrigued, even?

How did some...

slip of a girly-boy

from Communist East Berlin

become the internationally

ignored song stylist

barely standing

before you?

That's what I want to talk about

tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

I don't wanna talk

about sudden, undeserved

commercial success.

I don't wanna talk

about betrayal,

I don't wanna talk

about my lawsuit

against a certain

rock and roll "icon,"

Tommy Gnosis,

who, by some freak

coincidence, is performing

right next door

at Busch Stadium.

And to whom I taught

everything he knows,

and has apparently

forgotten,

about rock & roll!

Yes, this is

Phyllis Stein,

manager of Hedwig

and the Angry Inch.

I've been ho--

"Inch"! Not "Itch."

Let me speak

to Brad, please.

You know I've been holding

for 24 minutes?

Yes, hi, Brad,

this is Phyllis.

So what's going on

with Bilgewater's?

I heard the entire

chain's going under.

Hold on,

hold on a second.

- Hedwig! - We can have a gig

in any Bilgewater's nationwide

with a 24-hour notice?

And they know what kind

of music we play?

Okay, ciao.

People, people,

people.

Tomorrow is

a travel day.

It's a travel day

for Tommy,

so it's a travel day

for us.

Friday, Chicago.

Tommy's

at Soldier Field,

and we're

at Bilgewater's in the mall

down the street.

And the next day,

looks like he's...

basically, he's back

on the bus.

Phyllis--

"basically"?

He's doing a record signing.

Why do you feel

the need to lie to me?

Hedwig, please.

Come.

I don't think it's going

to help our lawsuit

if you continue to--

if you present

the appearance of stalking.

You know I don't

like that word.

Please listen to me.

How about you don't talk to him,

and I get someone to steal a photo

- of you two together?

- A photo--

You know some rag

will run it.

It'll really help

the lawsuit.

Proves you two

know each other.

Please,

Iet me do my job.

Please?

Okay.

I'm gonna make

some phone calls.

I'm gonna make

some phone calls!

All right.

Okay, everybody.

Bedski!

r

Ladies and gentlemen,

I recently found

my first diary.

Age 2-6.

It was fully illustrated.

As I unrolled the pages,

I realised that so many people

have touched me

on my way

to this stage tonight.

How can I say

who touched me the most?

My father,

the American Gl?

Could it have been

my East German mother?

...pervert!

Get out! Get out!

Go on... Go on!

d

When the earth

was still flat

And clouds

made of fire

And mountains

stretched up to the sky

Sometimes higher

Folks roamed the earth

Like big rolling kegs

They had

two sets of arms

They had

two sets of legs

They had two faces peering

out of one giant head

So they could watch

all around them

As they talked

while they read

And they never

Knew nothing of love

It was before

The origin of love

The origin of love

The origin of love

The origin of love

Now there was

three sexes then

One that looked like two men

glued up back-to-back

They called

the children of the sun

And similar

in shape and girth

Was the children

of the Earth

They looked like two girls

rolled up in one

And the children

of the moon

Looked like a fork

shoved on a spoon

They was part sun,

part earth

Part daughter, part son

The origin of love

Now the gods

grew quite scared

Of our strength

and defiance

And Thor said

"I'm gonna kill 'em all

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