Hedwig and the Angry Inch Page #2

with my hammer

Like I killed

the giants"

ButZeus said

"No, you better

let me

Use my lightning

like scissors

Like I cut the legs

off the whales

Dinosaurs into lizards"

And then he grabbed up

some bolts

He let out a laugh

Said, "I'll split them

right down the middle

Gonna cut them

right up in half"

And the storm clouds

gathered above

Into great balls

of fire

And then fire

Shot down from the sky

in bolts

Like shining blades

of a knife

And they ripped

right through the flesh

Of the children of the sun

And the moon

and the earth

And some lndian god

Sewed the wound up

into a hole

Pulled it round

to our bellies

To remind us

the price we pay

And Osiris,

and the gods of the Nile

Gathered up a big storm

to blow a hurricane

To scatter us away

In a flood

of wind and rain

A sea of tidal waves

To wash us all away

And if we don't behave

They'll cut us down again

And we'll be hopping around

on one foot

Looking through

one eye

d

d

The last time

I saw you

We'd just split

in two

You was looking

at me

I was looking

at you

You had a way

so familiar

I could not recognise

'Cause you had blood

on your face

I had blood

in my eyes

But I could swear

by your expression

That the pain

down in your soul

Was the same

as the one down in mine

That's the pain

That cuts a straight line

down through the heart

We call it love

We wrapped our arms

around each other

Tried to shove ourselves

back together

We was making love

Making love

It was a cold, dark evening

such a long time ago

When, by the mighty hand

of Jove

It was a sad story

how we became

Lonely two-legged

creatures

The story

of the origin of love

That's

the origin of love

The origin of love

The origin of love

The origin of love.

It is clear that

I must find my other half,

but is it a he,

or a she?

What does this person

look like?

Identical to me?

Or somehow complementary?

Does my other half have

what I don't?

Did he get the looks?

The luck?

The love?

Were we really separated

forcibly,

or did he just run off

with the good stuff?

Or did l?

Will this person

embarrass me?

What about sex?

Is that how we put ourselves

back together again?

Or can two people...

actually become one...

again?

I remember once

when I was six years old

I was watching

my favourite cartoon

on American Forces

Network--

"Jesus Was Good."

Jesus said the darndest thing.

Don't you ever mention

that name to me again.

But he died for our sins.

So did Hitler.

Absolute power corrupts.

Absolutely.

Better to be powerless, my son.

In the year I was born,

The Wall went up.

And many people decided

to move west to freedom.

Mother threw me

into a wheelbarrow

and headed east.

The Communists

gave her a job

teaching sculpture

to limbless children.

Most of my time

was spent Iistening

to American Forces Radio.

Our apartment

was so small,

that mother made me play in the oven.

Late at night,

I would listen to the voices

of the American masters:

Toni Tenille,

Debby Boone,

Anne Murray--

who was actually a Canadian,

working in the American idiom.

And then there were

the crypto-homo rockers:

Lou Reed, lggy Pop,

David Bowie--

who was actually an idiom

working in America

and Canada.

These artists,

they left as deep

an impression on me

as that oven rack

did on my face.

To be a young American

in muskrat love,

soft as an easy chair,

not even the chair,

"I am," I said,

"Have I never been mellow?"

And the coloured girls sing...

But never

with the melody.

How could I do it better

than Toni or Lou?

"Hey, boy...

take a walk

on the wild side!"

By my side

You will be the one

Lying by my side

Lying by my side

Lying by my side.

Okay.

Okay.

One day,

in the late mid-80s...

I was in my

early late 20s,

I had just been dismissed

from university

after delivering

a brilliant lecture

on the aggressive influence

of German philosophy

on rock and roll, entitled,

"You, Kant, Always

Get What You Want."

At 26, my academic career

was over,

I had never

kissed a boy,

and I was

still sleeping with Mom.

The search

for my other half

on my side of The Wall

had proved futile.

Might he be found

on the other?

But how to get over?

People died trying.

Such were the thoughts

flooding my tiny head,

on the day that

I was sunning myself...

in an old bomb crater

I had discovered

near The Wall.

I am naked,

face down on a piece

of broken church,

inhaling a fragrant

westerly breeze,

my God, I deserved

a break today.

Girl,

I sure don't mean

to annoy you.

My name is

Sergeant Luther Robinson.

My name is Hansel.

Luther is silent for a moment

as he stares at my...

"Iittle bishop

in a turtleneck."

Hansel?

Well, you must

like candy.

I like Gummi Baerchen.

The taste is completely

different from a Gummi Bear,

yet somehow familiar.

It's much sweeter

than a Gummi Bear.

And softer, too.

I feel

so optimistic.

I suddenly recognised

the flavour in my mouth--

it's the taste

of power.

Damn, Hansel.

I can't believe

you're not a girl.

You're so fine.

Why don't you take

the whole bag?

He searches my face

for news of his fate.

His expression is echoed

in scores of tiny faces,

pressing against

clear plastic,

panting faces of every

imaginable colour,

creed,

and non-Aryan origin,

fogging up the bag

Iike the windows

of a Polish bathhouse.

through the ruins,

back towards blander,

less complicated confections,

Ieaving in my wake,

a trail of rainbow carnage.

Next day, Hansel follows

the trail back,

and on his way

finds a Milky Way,

a roll of Necco Wafers,

some Pop Rocks,

and a giant-sized Sugar Daddy

named Luther.

I've got

a sweet tooth

For licorice drops

and jelly rolls

Hey, sugar daddy

Hansel needs some sugar

in his bowl

I'll lay out fine chinaon the linen

And polish up

the chrome

If you've got

some sugar for me

Sugar daddy,

bring it home

Oh, the thrill

of control

Like the rush

of rock and roll

It's the sweetest taste

I've known

If you've got some sugar,

bring it home.

Looks like we've got

some sugar daddies

in the house.

Honey bees

go shopping

It's something

to be seen.

You could give me

a cavity, honey.

They swarm

to wildflowers

Get nectar

for the queen.

I bet you could fill

that cavity, sweetie.

And everything

you bring me Got me dripping

like a honeycomb

If you got

some sugar for me

Sugar daddy,

bring it home.

It's a car wash,

ladies and gentlemen.

Whoa, the thrill

of control

Like a blitzkrieg

on the roll

It's the sweetest taste

I've known

If you've got some sugar,

bring it home

Come on, sugar daddy,

bring it home.

He loves me, Mother.

He wants to marry me...

and get me the hell

out of here.

Get my passport

and my camera, Hansel.

It's a simple

cut-and-paste job.

We change

the photo,

and you can use my name--

Hedwig Schmidt.

Not so simple,

ladies.

Baby...

you know

I love you.

I'm always

thinking of you.

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