Heebie Jeebies Page #3

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what she was thinking,

and that is, I'm only doing this

'cause I love you,

and I do, you know?

Love you.

All right.

So, no more cigs, got me?

Right on.

The air freshener's a real

amateur move, by the way.

- [BOTH SPEAKING CHINESE]

- This is so unfair!

- Tracy!

- Is this a bad time,

because I could come back.

- No, please, this house

needs some calm.

- Okay.

- They're like

four-year-old children.

- Yeah.

Is this silk?

I am--i want to

thank you, Teresa.

- You think it's working,

then?

- I do.

Breathing exercises

really seem to help.

- Now we just have to

wean you off the paper bags.

[LAUGHS]

- Yeah.

- I'm kidding.

- Okay.

- Let's begin.

- Okay.

- Deep breath in.

[INHALES]

Exhale out.

[EXHALES]

Picture your fears

as a pile of fresh snow.

You take a handful,

then squeeze it, compress it.

It becomes smaller and smaller

in your hands,

smaller and smaller,

every morsel of fear

melting away.

Another deep breath in--

[INHALES]

And now your fears

are half the size they were,

just a moment ago.

Smaller and smaller,

every morsel of fear

melted away.

- I'm Billy Buckner,

and we're here to help.

[DOG WHIMPERING]

- Binky, no, quiet.

Hush, hush, hush, binky.

I'm trying to watch TV.

- Gold exchange offers the most

competitive prices for your--

I'm Billy Butler--

- this guy

is on every channel.

There we go.

[DOG WHIMPERING]

What is it now, binky?

No, don't you be peeing

on my brand new floors!

- I'm Billy Butler

and we're here to help.

- Finish your business,

binky, stupid dog.

[SIGHS]

Okay, pinch it off.

Yeah.

It's cold.

It's cold out here.

[CREATURE GROWLING, HISSING]

Who's there?

You show yourself

right now, you hear me?

I ain't afraid of you.

[GROWLING]

All right,

you son of a b*tch.

You step out of there,

or I'm gonna send you to hell

with a hole in your head

as big as a grapefruit.

Come on.

What the...

[GUNSHOTS]

[CREATURE GROWLING]

- That was good, Todd.

I could feel you

more relaxed that time.

How do you feel?

- Great?

- There's something to be said

for 1,000-year-old techniques,

huh?

Once you master

your breathing exercises,

you should be able to

control the attacks.

- And give birth.

- [WORRIED SHOUTING IN CHINESE]

- Grandma, grandma,

what happened?

What's wrong?

What happened?

Shh--

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Shh.

It's all right.

She's okay.

- [SPEAKING CHINESE]

- I need my shoes.

I'll get them later, yeah.

- [BREATHING INTO BAG]

- Hey, Todd.

You okay?

- Yep.

It's through there.

- Thanks.

- The paper boy found her

this morning.

It's a real mess.

It's not...

- Teresa--

- hey, Tatum.

- Watch your step.

A couple of shots

fired from that pistol,

but don't appear

to have hit anything,

no blood trails,

nothing.

What do you think?

- I think that this definitely

wasn't an accident.

- Yeah, I got that much.

- Excessive hemorrhaging

from the mouth...

- No kidding, Columbo.

- These look like full

extractions here, sheriff.

- I know. I found

a few teeth over there.

- I'll get on it right away,

but it seems to me

that you've got a killer

on the loose, sheriff.

- I don't know if this has

any bearing on the situation,

but her hair

wasn't white yesterday

when I issued her a ticket.

She was coming

from old doc Payne's place

with a mouth

full of gold fillings.

- Whoa!

- I got it.

It's a dog.

Shhh.

It's okay.

What is that?

- Gold!

I've said it before,

and I'll say it again.

It's the stuff

dreams are made of.

Many folks don't know it,

but the south was the location

of America's first

and greatest gold rush.

Cut.

Cut the damn camera.

- What's wrong?

That was a good take, Billy.

- No kidding.

It would have been great

if this idiot had the cards

right side up,

and the gold here,

it isn't stacked right.

We need to make it look

like there's more here

than there really is!

What's wrong

with you people?

What are you,

a bunch of film students?

I pay you professional wages!

I demand a professional job!

I can't believe it.

You want anything done,

you got to do it yourself.

Now you better get it right

this time.

- Okay, everybody back to one,

let's get it right this time.

- Everybody ready now?

No, let's wait.

No, I got all the time in the--

take your time.

I got time.

We move slow down here, yeah.

Oh, you good--you happy--

you good, now?

You're fired.

Get out of here.

I want some pretty girl over

there, you know, a pretty girl,

just where I can look at it,

and I'll keep

looking at it, okay?

Can you get that for me?

Can you?

- [CHANTING IN CHINESE]

- Let me guess,

your grandmother?

- She's crazy!

There, I said it!

She's acting stranger than ever

these last couple days.

- Well, you know, she's just

going to keep calling

until you answer.

- Let her!

I don't care.

Rick told me

mace got the beer.

- Oh, so you guys are coming?

But I thought

you were grounded.

- Since when has being grounded

ever stopped me?

Sorry, sorry.

- So come on down

to the golderton exchange

located in beautiful

downtown golderton,

and don't forget to tell them

bill sent--

damn it all to hell.

What's wrong now?

What is it with you people?

What is that stuff?

Hey, I'm talking to you!

[CREATURE HISSING, TALKING]

It's bill Butler.

I'm at the mine, and--

which mine?

How many mines are there?

Listen,

people are dying over here!

Send the police!

Send a SWAT team!

Send--send--oh!

[PANTING]

No, keep that mist of yours

away from me, you giant freak!

Okay, okay,

just don't hurt me!

You killed my crew,

ate all the damn gold,

you circus freak!

Now go on, get out of here,

leave me alone!

[COUGHING]

That mist of yours

don't work on me!

You want a piece

of old Billy Butler,

you're gonna have to do it

the old-fashioned way.

Come on,

put up your Dukes!

[CREATURE SCREAMING]

- Ha!

Take that, you bastard!

Shove it to hell, ray!

Send it back

where it came from!

- I got him, Billy.

- It's bleeding gold.

Son of a b*tch.

[CREATURE GROWLING, TALKING]

- Please, no!

[SCREAMING]

[CREATURE GROWLING, TALKING]

- Thanks for the ride,

my man.

- Uh-huh, going,

see you later.

- So everything's set

for tonight?

- I can't wait to get

out of here.

- I'll come by around six.

- Tracy! Tracy!

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

- I don't think

I can wait that long.

Can you make it five?

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

Oh, okay.

- [BREATHING INTO BAG]

- [BREATHING INTO BAG]

Better call Teresa again.

Tell her to bring

the biggest meat wagon we got.

Where's Billy?

- I don't know.

- What the hell

happened here?

- I don't know, sheriff.

Maybe this'll tell us.

- Careful.

[CREATURE GROWLING ON VIDEO]

- Something wrong

with the camera?

It's all blurry.

- What the hell is that?

- I don't know.

It's definitely not

some psychotic serial killer.

I mean, it's too big

to even be human.

- I guess it's some kind of

mutant animal.

What--what--

freeze it right there.

Holy--

we got to get

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