Heebie Jeebies Page #6

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just to keep my nerves steady

while I drive out there,

just until we get the kids.

I promise I won't

put you in danger.

- All right.

I trust you.

- Okay, let's go.

- [GRUNTING]

Billy, you can't do this.

Come on, man, you're only

making things worse.

- Nothing,

not even you,

can keep me from getting my gold

from that cursed thing.

This bugger is attracted to gold

like moth to a flame.

That's how I'm gonna get it

to follow us.

- You've lost your mind.

- You want to bring it

to justice.

I want to get its gold.

Heads I win, tails you lose.

We do it my way.

- It's gonna kill you.

- I'm smarter

than any stupid monster.

It's not gonna kill me.

- Oh, so you're gonna kill it

with dynamite.

- I don't want to kill it.

Ever heard of killing the goose

that laid the golden egg?

Of course not!

If this thing bleeds,

craps, and spits gold,

it's got the midas touch.

It's gonna make me rich.

Get in.

- Look, fellas, I don't know

what you're trying to do,

but maybe there's some...

- Shut up.

- My dad's the sheriff,

all right?

- It's a small town, kid.

I know who your daddy is.

Threw us in jail

for a year.

Why any sheriff

would hire ex-cons

to hunt something down

is a stupid move at best.

- Must be one hell of a thing

he's after.

- Oh, it's Tracy.

Tracy!

- We're being held

by a bunch of creeps.

We're out in the woods,

we're...

- Tracy!

- You want to die tonight?

- [CRYING]

- Tracy! Hello?

It sounded like

she's in trouble

and the phone went dead.

- Let's go.

- Come on out!

Come on out and get

what's coming to you!

Come on out,

you monster son of a--

come on out, gentlemen!

I've got what you want,

right here!

Come and get it!

Gotta spend money

to make money.

- What are you guys

planning on doing with us?

- Normally

when me and eyeball find

some pretty young things

like you

out drinking in the woods,

well, use your imagination.

- Luckily for you

and these boys,

tonight's pretty damn

far from normal.

- Tie them up.

- Come on out,

you ugly ass abomination!

You think I didn't

recognize you?

You think I don't know

what you are?

My family put you

in that hole,

you damn good for nothing

malformation!

Now come on out here

and face your master!

[CREATURE GROWLING]

Good boy.

Now we're talking.

- What on god's green earth?

- Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Here you go, baby.

- Billy, what the...

- Fire in the hole!

Whoo!

[LAUGHING]

[CREATURE GROWLING]

- God, what is that thing?

- That is my destiny!

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]

- Is that y'all's Jeep

out by the gate?

Whose is it?

[EXPLOSION]

What the hell?

- You're gonna kill us, Billy.

- I got this by the ass!

Whoo!

Atta boy!

- What the hell

you doing, man?

I thought you said

you didn't want to kill it.

- I'm not trying to kill it,

just want to slow it down.

Then I can lead it.

- Lead it?

- Back to where it came from.

Gotta trap it.

Once I trap it, I can siphon it,

milk it like a goat.

- Give me the keys

to the cuffs, Billy.

Let me out of here.

- If you can't tell, sheriff,

I'm a bit busy.

Whoo!

Whoo, that's a hot one!

Whoo!

Ow!

[LAUGHING]

[EXPLOSION]

- I want the keys to the Jeep.

Who's got it?

- Oh, y'all suck.

Look, nobody drives that Jeep

but me.

- By all means.

- Eh, that's not the keys.

[LAUGHING]

- Let's go.

[SIGHS]

- Now what are we gonna do?

- We got any beers left?

- No, they drank them all.

[EXPLOSION]

- Hey, hurry up, man.

We gotta go, man!

- You get the Jeep, man!

- What the...

[CAR CRASHING THROUGH FENCE]

- Speed kills, jerkwad!

- Hey, man,

what are you doing?

You want us

to go back to jail?

- What you talking about?

- Whoo, man!

If I was a cat,

I'd only have seven lives left.

- Hey, look out!

[EXPLOSION]

[CREATURE GROWLING]

- Oh, thank god!

Teresa, we're over here!

- Tracy!

Are you okay?

- I'm sorry.

- You are in a lot of trouble,

young lady.

- Is everybody all right?

Anybody hurt?

- Oh! Run!

- We're going in!

Whoo!

- Get out of the way!

- All right, scat, kiddies.

You, missy!

Come here!

- Don't do it, Butler!

This can only end badly.

- She's my insurance policy.

- Don't! Stop!

Take me!

- Stay out of this,

Barney fife!

Come on!

- Todd, do something!

- Get in there!

- Look at me, deputy!

If you love that girl,

you can do this.

Don't just freeze up, boy.

[BREATHING SLOWLY]

Now prove it to her.

Go.

Wait! I need the keys

to the handcuffs!

Aw, blast!

- Dad!

- Come on,

let's get out of here.

- The keys to these cuffs

are in that cave.

- I'll go get them.

- Go, y'all, get the hell

out of here.

- I'm not gonna leave

without you.

- Go, go!

It's too late.

It's all right, son!

- Oh, Billy!

- Don't you move, sister.

- Help!

- When that thing gets in here,

you might not even

want to breathe.

[LAUGHS]

- Help me!

Don't do this, Billy.

- They say diamonds are forever,

but you gotta admit,

there's just something special

about the weight of gold.

You can see--

hell, I can even smell it.

So can that thing

that's headed our way.

[LAUGHS]

Right on time.

[CREATURE GROWLING]

[GRUNTING, PANTING]

- Todd!

- I'll take that.

- Don't!

[SCREAMS]

- Hey, chinaman!

Look what I've got here!

- Let me go, you psycho!

- Billy, don't do this!

I love her.

- Not as much as

I love gold.

[LAUGHING]

Welcome back to the grave,

octo-monster.

I got your 24-carat dinner

right here.

Come on!

Come on!

Come and get it.

- Todd, Todd!

Help me!

Todd, this guy's lost it.

We're gonna die

if you don't stop him.

- I can't, I can't.

- You can.

[PANTING]

[SCREAMING]

- You got to pull over!

Pull over the car!

- He's dead!

Oh, my god.

- Come on, we got to go.

We got to go help them.

- Help them?

How stupid are you?

We need to help ourselves

and get out of here!

- That's family out there!

- My sister's out there.

- And there's a dead guy

on the ground.

- We can't just run away,

all right?

Veronica, are you coming?

- Yeah.

- Screw this.

No.

- Doug!

[CREATURE GROWLING]

- [WHIMPERING]

- I'm gonna melt you down,

sucker,

like chocolate in the sun.

I want to get

at that cream filling!

How about a little fire,

scarecrow!

[LAUGHING]

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

Yeah, looks like you got

your damn [CHINESE WORD]!

Doesn't matter!

You're still stuck

in this stinking cave.

Gentlemen,

suck on this!

Crap!

Damn it.

[SCREAMING]

- [WHIMPERING]

[CREATURE GROWLING]

- Teresa, take a deep breath

and release it.

Picture your fears

are a pile of fresh snow.

You take a handful,

squeeze it, compress it.

It's getting smaller

in your hands,

melting from your body's heat.

I'm not afraid.

[SCREAMING]

I'm not afraid of you,

[CHINESE WORD]!

[CREATURE SCREAMING, GROWLING]

Get out of here, Teresa!

Go!

- Todd!

Todd!

- Teresa, go!

[GRUNTS]

Thank you, Teresa.

This is for you.

Crap.

- Todd!

- Get out of here, Teresa!

Run!

- I'm not leaving you!

- Go, now!

Run!

- [PANTING]

Todd?

No!

[CRYING]

Todd!

- Pops, I'm so sorry.

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