Held Up

Tie a yellow ribbon

Around the old oak tree

Rae, this is tight, baby.

This is a tight song.

You ain't feeling it. I could

just flip the track, you know.

Put the '90s version, like:

Tie it up

Tie it up

Yellow ribbon

Tie it up

You spent $5000 for this car...

...and you don't even check

to see if the radio works?

You gotta realize this is not

a CD player, okay?

This is not a CD player,

you can't be banging it.

This is history. Original equipment,

an eight-track.

I'm gonna destroy some original

damn equipment in about two minutes.

Every time something sets you off,

you go swinging at the ding-a-ling.

Don't know why women want to do that.

Always ding-a-ling swinging.

I'll tell you, you can swing my

ding-a-ling all the way back to Chicago.

Oh, my God.

- You getting sick?

- Yeah.

- Look, aim it out this time.

- Michael, stop it.

You care more about this car

than you do about me.

- No. I do not.

- Yes, you do.

Come on, you know

I love you, nail girl.

It's just it costs a lot of money

to get these seats cleaned...

...and I haven't spent one night

with the car yet.

- You getting sick?

- Honey?

- You getting sick, huh?

- Honey...

Look, out, out, out. Aim out. Aim out.

- I don't have to throw up.

- What you gotta do?

- Oh, you gotta-

- I gotta go:

In, in. Hold it in.

- I've gotta go to the bathroom.

- I'm driving.

- Drive fast!

- I'm going.

I'm gonna turn the music up

so you don't feel it.

Okay.

- I gotta go.

- Tie a yellow ribbon around your ass.

- Okay, baby.

- Okay.

- Ball three!

- He tak es ball three.

Phoenix is up by one in the first inning

of this state championship game.

The winner goes on to the nationals.

All right, Pete. This is the pitch.

No pressure, babe, no pressure.

Good eye. Good eye. All right,

let's drop a quarter in this carousel.

Strike three. You're out!

Everyone, please, stay in your seats

while the officials sort this out.

Oh, you must be smoking.

Hey, hey. What's going on

with my ri-?

Children of the Corn.

You struck out my hitter

with three men on base.

Struck out your hitter?

Oh, you're talking about the little game.

All right, well, my bad.

- Michael!

- Yeah?

I hope she don't think that's a john.

That filled up last season.

Honey?

Hi.

Look, I'm sorry for whatever he did.

- I did?

- He'll fix it.

But could you please tell me

where I can find a bathroom?

Well, most of the businesses

around here are closed down...

...because of our little game.

But you might try the Zip

two miles out on Main.

- Okay. Honey, come on.

- Yeah, I'm coming. Just hold on.

- I got some man things to discuss.

- Play ball!

- Honey, I gotta go.

- I got to do man stuff.

Dadgum.

- Hold on a second.

- Come on, boys.

- My damages and everything.

- Let's go play some defence.

What you looking at, tiny?

Rae! Rae! Rae, what are you doing?

See, it works. There just wasn't

any radio stations in the desert.

Come on, come on, come on.

Go, go, go.

I see something peeking.

You dropped something.

- Shut up.

- Let the bag of tools go, girl.

It's Michael G. from Las Vegas...

- Oh, man.

- ... where it's 108 degrees on the Strip.

Boy, that's pretty hot.

Coming up next is "Sweet Lik e Candy"

from Page Three.

It's highway robbery.

I'm saying that the prices

is highway robbery.

I wasn't referring to you, that y'all

was robbers or nothing like that.

I'm sure y'all are nice

Christian kind of folks.

Is that the car McCann had for sale

down in Phoenix?

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

You know, your pump is broke.

What did you do to it?

- I didn't do nothing to it.

- Was working fine before you got here.

Yeah, well, now that I'm here, it-

Forgot to lift the handle, didn't you?

You forgot to kiss my black ass.

Yeah, well, looks lik e that Studebak er's

still got a wiring problem.

Looks like you got

a nosy-as-hell problem.

Good job.

I'm amazed that old car runs at all...

...with all that electronic junk

McCann stuck on it.

I'm amazed somebody ain't kicked

your ass, with that trash you talking.

I hope you didn't pay the full 18 thou

he was asking for it.

That's none of your damn business.

Eighteen thousand dollars?!

You told me we paid 5!

- Is that what I said?

- Yes.

I talked him down.

Michael, we all know you're good,

but you ain't that good.

Now, let me see the chequebook.

Yeah, well, the chequebook is-

Right in your hand.

You got it in your hand.

I wanted to make sure you could see.

It was kind of dark

when the transaction went down.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.

- Michael.

- Rae, I know what you're thinking.

Fifteen thousand dollars?

But it's a '57 Golden Hawk classic.

- Honey, that was our house money.

- Did I tell you it was supercharged?

Michael, you lied to me.

You're getting all emotional.

You act like you're in a soap opera.

- Is it your time of the month?

- What?

Is that what's going on?

I thought you was bloated.

- A kangaroo pouch was happening.

- You know, I should whup your ass.

- Excuse me.

- What are you doing?

- These people could be dangerous.

- I can be dangerous.

- Hi, I need to get to an airport.

- We aren't taking sides.

Airport? Come on, Rae.

An airport? That's crazy.

- Oh, you ain't seen crazy yet, either.

- You're looking for an airport?

Yeah. Yeah, actually. Hi. I am.

Yeah. I told you once

to stay out of my business.

Las Vegas is just a short drive

around the canyon.

- Oh, thank you, thank you.

- I can't believe this. After all I've done.

Trying to put together a nice vacation.

This is the way you act?

You call this a nice vacation?

And now we're spending the rest

of our time driving back to Chicago...

...to look for a house

that we suddenly can't afford.

- That money was for a house?

- Yes. Can you believe him?

And he bought this stupid

piece-of-sh*t Batmobile.

You know, I'm out of here. That's it.

Rae- It's not a Batmobile, bro.

Rae, where are you going?

Away from you.

- Don't make me call you out your name.

- Oh, I wish you would.

I'll call you out your name.

I'm gonna call you out your name.

I'll cuss you!

- Give me this bag.

- Give me. You better-

Give me this. You know what,

you are getting-

You're getting strong.

You ain't gotta take it out on the car,

either. Damn.

Don't disrespect me, woman.

Honour thine boyfriend,

like it says in the Bible.

There's a flight to Chicago leaving

Vegas airport tonight at 6.

I thought you said

you weren't taking sides.

I didn't know it would be so easy.

Come on, Michael, spending

that money violated a trust, a bond.

I'm gonna snatch them wires

out your ass.

We're headed that way, ma'am.

You're sure welcome to ride with us...

...as long as you don't mind

riding in the back with the boys.

- The boys?

- The boys?

- pay that much again.

Oh, man. I can't even get with this.

- Howdy.

- Hi.

They don't want you, Rae.

They got spurs that jingle-jangle-jingle.

- They got ropes and no steers.

- That's what you think.

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