Held Up Page #7

with his Barney Fife ass.

All right, men,

put away your weapons.

What is it you want, Tyson?

I want what you promised.

I need to get this dude to Mexico

so he can take care of his father.

We can't do that.

We don't have enough money.

You don't have

enough money? What?

Look at all these tax-paying citizens.

You got some money in here.

Come on, don't bullshit me.

- Town's broke.

- We are not!

Fifty.

- Oh, come on, Tyson. Don't do this!

- That's 50.

That's a start. Anybody else?

- You the man.

- Give me some.

Good boy, Rusty.

There we go. Anybody else?

I got 50. Fifty and the 5 and the 50-

Well, this has been about as good

as going to a matine.

There we go. Thank you, Mr. Bojangles.

This definitely qualifies

as my rainy day.

Hey, Jack had the money in his shoe.

Now, everybody, please, quickly.

Thank you, people.

Come, children.

Oh, look at these happy, giving faces.

Come on down, come hither,

feel the love.

Yes. I'm liking that.

Sheriff, all I need

is one more favour.

I need to get a ride to that airport.

Won't do you any good.

We didn't hold the plane.

So you just straight up lied.

It's in the book.

Flight 664 to Chicago is now boarding.

- Is that you?

- Yeah.

He's not coming.

I'm sorry, honey.

Oh, yeah, that's okay.

Thanks, Gloria.

Bye-bye, baby. Here.

Don't forget your flowers. Here you go.

Thanks. I'll see you.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye.

Good luck to you, son.

- I think I owe you one.

- Don't worry about it.

Hey, I'm really sorry

about your girlfriend and all.

She probably wouldn't take me back

now anyway.

- Well, then, she'd be a fool.

- You'd think.

Oh, a little love. Watch this one.

Watch her.

Okay. If you're ever in Mexico...

If you're ever in Chicago

robbing a convenience store...

...I hope they pop a cap in your ass.

Michael.

What's going on?

I've just had one hell

of an unlucky day, man.

Once upon a time, there was a wise

warrior in a tribe who found a horse.

And everybody said

what a lucky man he was.

One day the horse threw him,

and he broke his leg.

And everyone said

what an unlucky man he was.

Then there was a great battle.

All the young men died

except the wise warrior...

...who couldn't go

because he had a broken leg.

Deep.

Deep as usual.

Strange as hell, but deep.

Get on out of here, man.

- Hey, Michael!

- Yeah?

Did I mention I knew a girl

in Topolobampo once?

Sorry about your store, Jack.

Thanks, Michael.

Please come again.

I...

Hey, wait up!

That's Jose's plane.

All right!

Hey, Michael!

This may be your lucky day after all.

Maybe I can make it still.

Grapefruit lady, you're my ride.

We only got 10 minutes.

- Yeah, we can make it.

- Are you sure?

Yeah, it's just a short flight

over the canyon.

A condom with glasses. All right.

Wait. You got the 35 bucks?

- The 35-?

- At least half-ay.

Thirty-five- Come on, please.

This cannot be happening to me.

Consider that a loan, Tyson.

- Have a nice trip.

- Thanks, man.

I'm a little sensitive about my money.

Get me there.

How long have you had your licence?

What is this " licence"?

It's kind of shaky, huh?

This is okay. Go! We need to go!

This is the departure of Alta Air,

flight 664 to Chicago...

...is ready for final boarding.

All confirmed passengers

should be onboard the aircraft.

Hey! That's my car!

What did you do to my ride?

Keep it, you little a**hole!

Did you see the excitement

on the TV today?

It was like Cops

without commercials.

You're not kidding.

Erly and I were glued to the set.

When they came out of there

in their underwear, I had to take a pill.

But how they could mistake that skinny

guy for Mike Tyson, I'll never know.

You give me the other half

right now, okay?

Okay?

Rae!

- Rae! Has anyone seen a black lady?

- ... climax to the hostage drama...

North Butte Sheriff's Department,

shown here bombarding the store...

...issued an apology.

Hey, Tyson!

Rae! Girl!

Oh, honey!

- You waited for me.

- Oh, I knew you'd be late.

Are you ever on time?

- Let's go home.

- Oh, honey.

Could I get a Diet Coke, please? Hello?

Could I get a Diet Coke, please?

Don't make me go for the ding-a-ling.

Don't make the ding-a-ling

go for you.

What in the hell?

Okay. Nobody move!

- Michael! Hey!

- Michael?

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