Hellbent Page #2

Life is meant for living.

- Hey, pass me the pants, too, yeah?

- Okay.

- No wait.

- Tobey, grab the wheel.

Yup.

Okay.

- Oh, good Lord.

- Jesus.

- Gotta go commando if you wanna rodeo.

- Oh, come on.

What're you looking to get,

all dolled up in that dress and cheap wig?

No, this wig is not cheap.

You looking to get laid?

No, no, no, we are not cruising

the trannie bars tonight, all right?

No, we're not,

and l'll tell you why.

Because l spent $300

getting this pretty tonight,

and nothing, nobody is passing

through these lips,

no matter how big.

Okay? l am officially

removing myself from the race.

Oh, please.

You and you and you

can all thank me in the morning.

Don't worry about me.

Guys, check out this guy

on the bike here.

Oh, Jesus.

We're here.

Are you kidding me? You can't

park any closer than this?

Why are we here?

Eddie knows why we're here.

This is where it happened.

Less than 1 8 hours ago,

two gay guys were murdered

on this spot.

You're gonna make us

walk through the woods

to go to the carnival

because a couple of queens

got killed here?

lt's Halloween.

That's a two-block hike.

Wuss.

l don't see you wearing heels.

You know, l saw

the crime scene photos.

- No way.

- Shut up.

What did they look like?

Two guys, just like us--

you know, 23, 22.

Yeah? Were they hot?

l don't know.

They didn't have their heads.

One of the guys

was hanging outside the door.

There was blood dripping

all over the handle.

The other guy,

l guess they thought he'd be safe

underneath their car,

so he curled up into a little ball

behind the tire.

When the coroner pulled him out,

he had to break his fingers

to get them off the axle.

That's kind of sweet, though.

Yeah. l don't know.

Whoever done it must have

been really strong

because their heads

were cut off so cleanly

that none of the tubes,

the veins,

the arteries, the wind pipe,

they weren't crushed at all.

They were wide open.

Speaking of air, can l

crack a f***ing window?

Eddie used up

all the goddamn oxygen.

Nice story, Eddie.

You're a man with brains.

What makes people kill like that?

Probably some 40-year-old

gay guy

that just came out

of the closet.

He's probably jealous

of all the nice hot guys

like us walking around.

Sh*t. l mean, think about it.

Wouldn't you want to kill us?

We're f***ing fabulous.

No. lt's got to be

about his mother.

lt always is.

The real motive doesn't matter,

because we're never gonna find out

what it is anyway.

lf there's one thing

l'm sure of,

it's that guy got on a train

and took it back

to Louisiana or Oklahoma

or whatever backwater swamp

his ass was spawned in.

He didn't stick around.

God, sh*t!

Damn it!

Get out of the f***ing car.

- Damn it, get out of the car.

- l got you.

l'm gonna beat your ass.

Get out of the f***ing car.

Come here.

Get out of there.

What the f*** is wrong with you?

Jesus. You scared

the sh*t out of me.

That was hysterical.

Hey, come on, guys. l know

a back way to the carnival.

F***.

So why do you take

somebody's head?

Killers like trophies.

Maybe he couldn't get head

any other way.

Oh, man.

l was just saying

what you guys were thinking.

Maybe he does sleep with them.

Jesus, Joey,

where's your goddamn brain?

You know the brain's

actually the largest sex organ?

Speak for yourself, dude.

Gentlemen, last time

to take a piss

before the port-a-potties.

- All right.

- Find a tree.

Joey.

Joey, come here.

Leave me alone. l can't pee

if you're talking to me.

Eddie, do you ever

stop nagging?

- Shut up. Come here.

- What?

There's someone

in the bushes right there.

What am l supposed to see?

Joey.

Joey, get back here

right now. Come on.

What?

- There's someone in the bushes?

- Yeah.

Holy sh*t. He was right by me.

He's cruising us.

He is totally cruising us.

What does he look like?

l don't know.

he's wearing a mask.

Probably

for a very good reason.

Poor guy.

Halloween's probably

the only night of the year

where he gets any action.

Good luck to you,

creepy cruiser.

l hope you get some.

Yeah, big boy.

Damn!

Oh, man.

Devil Daddy's got

some serious drag on.

Damn, what's he doing?

Oh, man, he's whipping it out.

Yeah, show us, Big Daddy.

Come on.

Here it comes.

What's he got there?

That's a knife.

He's got a f***ing knife,

the kinky bastard.

You are deranged, sir,

and l love it!

ls that all you got?

Give us some more.

ls your knife serrated?

You're making me hot, Big Daddy.

You guys are sick.

You want to see some? Come on,

big boy. You want to play?

Let's play.

- Come on, Eddie.

- Come on, Eddie, do it.

Bend over.

Yeah. Bring it, big boy.

You want to play?

Yeah, dude, you want some of this?

Spanky-spanky, baby.

Where'd he go?

- He snubbed us?

- Are you kidding me?

Four perfect young naked asses?

Who walks away from that?

- Oh, Jesus!

- Oh, sh*t!

lf one more person

grabs my tits tonight--

Hey. Hey, guys,

l think he's following us.

Devil Daddy knows a good thing

when he sees it.

Hold on. l need my gift bag.

Bye-bye.

What kind of lube you guys got?

Mine's got pineapple.

Pineapple, pineapple.

This is all crap.

You guys get CDs?

Glow sticks?

Why do they make green condoms?

l want to know

who sucks a green dick.

l got a scratch-and-sniff

for The Manhole Cover.

Hey, let's go get drunk, man.

What do l drink?

Something with alcohol.

Flaming Penis, por favor.

- Flaming Penis?

- Here you go.

You got three right here.

ls that a real drink?

One swallow, you're hooked.

Hey, copper.

You, uh, fraternize?

We come as a set.

lnsurance l will

have fun tonight.

Sure you don't want the other one?

lt'll bring you luck.

All right.

Motorcycle. No helmet.

Hangs out at the leather club.

And he smokes.

- You like him?

- He's hot.

Yeah, hot in the ''l'm gonna beat you

with a baseball bat'' kind of way.

l don't get it with you and this

rough trade fixation.

Every good boy's got his kink.

l just never thought

he was the type.

You get in there,

and you get him.

l'm not like you, all right?

No, but you want to be. So go.

We're with you here.

All right, come on.

l'm not going in there.

Look at me.

Yeah, they could make this place

any scarier than it already is.

Stick with us, all right?

Safety in numbers.

Hey.

l saw you today.

At the tattoo shop?

We talked about the murders.

Do you remember?

Yeah, l remember.

Yeah. Hey, l'm Eddie.

What do you want?

l'd like to know your name.

l'll tell you what, all right?

Do l have a stalker?

Because l know you're

definitely not a real cop.

You know, it's Halloween.

My handcuffs are real.

Right on.

Unfortunately,

you have no gun.

No, l left it at home.

So you do shoot, then.

Yeah, l do, a little.

l used to shoot, because...

l wanted to be a cop,

but l didn't...

l didn't pass the physical.

No, l hurt my eye.

- Your eye looks fine.

- lt's not.

My field of vision is gone.

My depth perception is shot.

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