Hello, Dolly!
- G
- Year:
- 1969
- 146 min
- 2,620 Views
(train approaching)
(train whistle)
(police whistle)
(trolley bell)
(singing) Call on Dolly
If your neighbour needs a new romance
Just name the kind of man
your sister wants, and she'll snatch him up
Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts
and she'll match 'em up
Call on
"Mrs. Dolly Levi."
She's the one the spinsters recommend
She even found a lovely bride
for poor cousin Isadore
"Social introductions arranged."
Drag your single relations out
In a week you'll have to
send engraved invitations out
"I n an atmosphere of elegance
and refinement."
Call on Dolly
"Object:
matrimony."If your eldest daughter needs a friend
Just name the kind of man your sister
wants, and she'll snatch him up
Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts
and she'll match 'em up
Call on Dolly
If your eldest daughter needs a friend
I have always been a woman
who arranges things
For the pleasure and the profit it derives
I have always been a woman
who arranges things
Like furniture and daffodils and lives
If you want your sister courted,
brother wed or cheese imported
Just leave everything to me
If you want your roof inspected,
eyebrows tweezed or bills collected
Just leave everything to me
If you want your daughter dated,
or some marriage consummated
For a rather modest fee
If you want a husband spotted,
boyfriend traced or chicken potted
I'll arrange for making all arrangements
Just leave everything to me
- Business or pleasure, Mrs. Levi?
- Mr. Jones, business is always a pleasure.
And you've got more businesses
than a dog has fleas!
As my late husband, Ephraim Levi,
used to say:
"If you have to live from hand to mouth,
you better be ambidextrous!"
If you want your ego bolstered,
muscles toned or chair upholstered
Just leave everything to me
Charming social introductions,
expert mandolin instructions
Just leave everything to me
If you want your culture rounded,
French improved or torso pounded
With a ten-year guarantee
If you want a birth recorded,
collies bred or kittens boarded
I'll proceed to plan the whole procedure
Just leave everything to me
- Where to, Dolly?
- Yonkers.
matter for Mr. Vandergelder,
the well-known
unmarried half-a-millionaire.
- Gonna marry him yourself?
- Why, Mr. Sullivan,
whatever put such
a preposterous idea into my head?
Your head.
If you want a law abolished,
jury swayed or toenails polished
Just leave everything to me
If you want your liver tested,
glasses made, cash invested
Just leave everything to me
If you want your children coddled,
corsets boned or furs remodelled
Or some nice, fresh fricassee
If you want your bustle shifted,
wedding planned or bosom lifted
Don't be ashamed, girls!
Life is full of secrets and I keep 'em!
I'll discreetly use my own discretion
I'll arrange for making all arrangements
I'll proceed to plan the whole procedure
Just leave everything
To me
- And I'm telling you that I will marry her!
- Not without my permission, you won't!
This is a free country,
not a private kingdom.
She's consented and I'll marry her.
- I'm telling you that you won't.
- I'm telling you I will.
- Never.
- Tomorrow. Today.
Ermengarde is not for you.
You can't support her. You are an artist.
- I make a good living.
- A living, Mr. Kemper,
is made by selling something that
everybody needs at least once a year.
And a million is made by producing
something everybody needs every day.
You artists, you painters, produce
nothing that nobody needs, never.
You might as well know,
any way we can find to get married
is right and fair and we'll do it.
You are an impractical,
seven-foot-tall nincompoop.
- That's an insult.
- All the facts about you are insults.
- Thank you for the honour of your visit.
- Ermengarde is of age and there's no law...
Law? The law is there to prevent crime. Men
of sense are there to prevent foolishness.
It is I that will prevent you
from marrying my niece.
And I've already taken the necessary steps.
Mrs. Dolly Levi is on her way here even now.
Dolly Levi? Your marriage broker?
Never mind that. She'll pick up Ermengarde
and take her to New York,
and keep her there
until this foolishness is over.
- We'll see about that.
- Thank you again for the honour...
You have to sit still, Mr. Vandergelder.
If I cut your throat
it will be practically unintentional.
and the rest are
in great danger of contamination.
Enough of this.
I'm a busy man with things to do.
A scraped chin is the least of them.
I did the best I could, Mr. Vandergelder.
- Joe.
- Yes?
I've got special reasons
for looking my best today.
Is there something a little extra
you can do? A little special?
What?
You know, do some of those things
you do to the young fellas.
Smarten me up a little bit.
Face massage. A little perfume water.
All I know is 15 cents' worth, like usual,
and that includes all that's decent to do.
Listen, I don't want you blabbing this,
but I need something extra today
because I'm going to New York
to call on a very refined lady,
name of Miss Irene Molloy.
Your callin' on ladies is none
of my business, Mr. Vandergelder.
- Hold your horses, Joe.
- Uncle Horace!
- Uncle Horace!
- Yes, what is it?
- What have you done to Ambrose?
- I had a quiet talk with him.
- You did?
- Yes, I explained to him that he's a fool.
- Oh, Uncle!
- Weeping, weeping - a waste of water.
I've done you a good turn.
You'll thank me when you're 50.
But, Uncle, I love him.
Save your tears for New York,
where they won't be noticed.
- But I love him!
- You don't.
- But I do!
- Leave those things to me.
If I don't marry Ambrose, I know I'll die!
- Of what?
- A broken heart.
Never heard of it. Are you ready
for Mrs. Levi when she comes?
Yes.
Well, get ready some more and
stay in your room until she arrives.
(Ermengarde sobs)
Cornelius!
Barnaby!
Barnaby!
Cornelius! Barnaby!
- You stamped, Mr. Vandergelder?
- Yes, I stamped.
Are my niece's bags at the railroad station?
- Yes.
- And you, did you label them properly?
- Yes.
- Good.
I'm going to New York
on important business,
then I'll be marching in the parade.
- Yes, Mr. Vandergelder.
- I'm planning to stay at the Central Hotel.
We've never been here alone,
Mr. Vandergelder.
Now, in honour of the occasion, I'll promote
you both. Cornelius, how old are you?
Is that all? That's a foolish age
to be at. I thought you were 40.
No, I'm 28.
Well, a man's not worth a cent till he's 40.
We pay him wages until then
to make mistakes.
- Anyway, I'm promoting you to chief clerk.
- Chief clerk?
- Yes.
- Well, what am I now?
You're an impertinent fool. If you behave,
I'll promote you from fool to chief clerk,
with a raise in your wages.
Thank you, Mr. Vandergelder.
You, Barnaby, I'm promoting you from
idiot apprentice to incompetent clerk.
- Thank you, Mr. Vandergelder.
- Mr. Vandergelder? Mr. Vandergelder?
What is it?
Does the chief clerk get
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"Hello, Dolly!" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hello,_dolly!_9842>.
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