Hello, My Name Is Doris

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1

Sometimes, God taketh away

what God hath given.

A mother who bears us

with her loins...

...bears us always...

...and lives forever in our hearts.

Let's go talk to her now.

Just sit next to her.

Doris.

Hey, sis. How you holding up?

I'm holding up.

Supposed to hold up,

so I'm holding up.

Hey, you know,

we're all pretty devastated, so....

Anyway, Cynthia and I were thinking,

now that Ma's gone...

...maybe you could get

your own place in the city...

- ...close to your job and everything.

- You wouldn't have to ride the ferry.

You've really earned this.

You've been living in Mom's house,

taking care of her all these years.

Which was so noble of you.

- I don't know how you did it. Really.

- So noble.

And I was thinking that, you know,

once we cleaned out Mama's junk...

...that we should think about

maybe selling the house too.

- Todd, all my stuff is there.

- Yeah.

All right. Um....

Look, I just....

We, uh....

Here.

Her name is Sylvia Edwards

and she could really help.

- Help with what?

- The hoarding, Doris.

You and Mom,

you held on to a lot of stuff.

Please, sis, just meet with her.

- I'm sorry.

- Sorry. Could someone hit eight, please?

Thanks.

It's tight quarters.

- It's pretty awkward, huh?

- Yeah.

Here. These are a little....

Sorry, they were on your ear.

Is that better?

- Boy, yeah.

- Yeah.

I like your glasses.

They're cat eyeglasses?

Yeah.

They're cool.

Okay. Thanks.

Hey, Doris?

Doris?

Anne's replacing all our chairs

with these posture balls.

She's got a whole truckload.

So I'm gonna need your chair, Doris.

I like my chair. It has a back.

You know I don't make the rules, right?

I'm just the muscle.

Can I have everyone

gather around please? Over here.

Over here.

Over here.

I would like to introduce everyone

to John Fremont.

John is the new art director.

He joins us after a successful stint

in the L.A. office.

We're very happy to have him.

So let's give him

a big New York welcome.

- Speech.

- Speech.

Speech.

Okay, uh, I'll give it a shot.

So I know it's a far cry

from the sandy beaches of Malibu...

...but, um, it's really great to be here

in the city that never sleeps.

So that's it.

That's all, folks.

You're so funny, John.

Okay, everyone back to work.

Okay.

Actually, wait.

There's one last thing

that I need to say.

I met a woman in the elevator

this morning.

And we hardly exchanged

more than a few words...

...but she made a big impression

on me.

She's standing right there.

Look, lady, I don't even

know your name...

...but you set off a fire inside of me

I have not been able to put out...

...since the moment

I laid eyes on you.

Can we explore this?

Doris?

Doris?

Doris?

Hey, sorry to interrupt

whatever that was.

Just me and the cats now.

I hope I don't end up like one of those

weird old New Yorkers...

...that chokes on a peanut and dies

and no one even misses me...

...until the smell of my decomposing

body seeps through the walls.

- Oh, honey, I would miss you. I would...

- Get in the slow lane, ladies.

You go eat some kale.

- Fascist.

- She gave us the finger, Roz.

- Give her the finger.

- Fascist!

- Roz, no, no, no.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, you'd better run.

Run away.

Run away, girl. Uh-huh.

Will you get your friend?

Oh, Roz. For goodness sakes,

just give her the finger next time.

Look, see, she ran away.

Of course.

You scared the heck out of her.

And then after that,

John says, "Th-Th-That's all, folks."

You know, like Bugs Bunny.

And Anne goes, "ooh," you know.

I don't even think

she got the reference.

- That one is such a phony baloney.

- Yeah. I know.

Come on because I don't wanna

be late for this lecture.

So who is this guy again?

One of those motivational speakers.

Val says he's like that doctor on TV.

- I don't know.

- Only better looking.

Come on.

- I'm coming.

- It'll do you good to be around people.

- They do a snack table here.

- How many things do you get?

- You remember that guy that did the....

- Looks like four bites of cheese.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

We are not allowed to serve the cheese

and crackers until after the lecture.

- Bureaucrat.

- Roz.

- Doris. Hurry up.

- There's Val.

I've got primo seats for us. Hurry up.

There's always one in every crowd.

- Doris.

- Yes.

- I'm so sorry about your mother.

- Yes.

Did you get the Edible Arrangement?

Yes, I did, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Willy Williams.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

Have you lost your way?

Is there something missing?

Mm-hm.

An emptiness.

But, folks, don't look back at your life

and ask, "Why me?"

Look ahead and ask, "Why not me?"

Ask yourself, "Why not me?"

Right now.

Why not me?

We've all got fears.

I'm afraid of a lot of things.

Am I safe?

Am I providing for my family?

Am I doing everything I can

to make this world a better place?

But when it comes to our goals

and our dreams...

...fear is just another four letter word

that begins with F.

And folks, don't let your fear of what

could happen make nothing happen.

Don't make that mistake.

Life is short, folks. Let me tell you,

it is over in the blink of an eye.

And that's why I always say:

There are seven days in the week...

...and "someday" isn't one of them.

Hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

This is very good cheese.

I think it's some kind of a Spanish

Manchego. It has a certain ol to it.

Did you see that really cute guy

in the third row?

- Okay.

- Hubba, hubba.

- He's coming this way. Coming.

- Hello, ladies.

Thanks so much for coming to my talk.

You got my DVD.

Yes.

There's actually some great advice

in there, Doris.

- Yes, yes.

- Great name.

- My mother named me after Doris Day.

- Doris Day is my all-time favorite.

You know what her real last name was?

Von Kappelhoff.

- It's funny, huh?

- Very, very funny.

- Excuse me, I just... I have to....

- Certainly.

Mr. Williams, may I ask a question?

Ask me anything.

Mr. Williams,

there's something I want.

Is this something a someone?

Yes.

And he....

He's very different than me.

It just seems impossible.

- Impossible, a confounding word.

- And yet I use it all the time.

- There's no such thing as impossible.

- No?

- Think about the word itself.

- Okay.

I'm possible.

- I'm possible.

- I'm possible.

We're just looking at things

the wrong way.

Like this glass of water,

is it half full or is it half empty?

- I don't know.

- It's all about the way we look at things.

- Do you see?

- I see.

- Yes, you do see.

- Yes, I do see.

Well, I'm glad to see you, Doris.

You are perfect inside and out.

You're a green ball of glowing light.

And don't let anyone

tell you otherwise.

Oh, I recognize you.

I'm possible.

I'm possible.

I'm possible.

I guess what I'm thinking is that

whether it's digital or analogue...

- ...the brand has to be unified.

- I agree. Yeah.

Change up the typeface....

- What is this one?

- See, I like this one a lot too. This is...

John?

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