Hello, My Name Is Doris Page #2

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John, over here, John.

Hello.

Heh, this is...

John, I....

- Just... Hello.

- I'm gonna... Just hold on. Real quick.

Hi, is everything okay?

So I'm... John, this is the situation.

It seems that I have a defective ball.

Yes, I'm...

...practically empty here.

- Oh, look at that.

- And the other day I saw you...

...so I put it together in my head

because you came in with a bike pump...

...and so I thought, "There you go."

- Let me grab my pump. Be right back.

- Okay. Okay.

BRB.

Lucky bike pump.

- Okay. Let me take a look.

- Okay.

Okay.

- If I could just... Sorry.

- Yeah.

Do you wanna get off the ball

while I do this?

- Do I have to? I have bad knees.

- Oh.

- Uh, oh, okay.

- Okay.

All right.

There we go.

Um.... Um....

How are you liking the new job?

- The new j... Pretty good so far, I guess.

- Is it? Is it?

- Feel like I'm managing okay.

- Yeah.

Okay.

- All right.

- Okay.

Sorry.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- How's that?

- Oh, good.

Yeah? It's not too hard?

- No, oh, no.

- Okay.

- I'm gonna pull it out, okay?

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Let me get that back in. All right.

- Ooh.

- Yeah, there you go.

- All right.

Good.

- Well, all right.

- All right.

- I'm really glad I could help.

- I'm glad you're glad you could help.

- That was great pumping. Okay.

- Okay. Yeah.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Oh, hey.

Hey, you guys order the chicken

or the chicken?

I'm possible.

I'm possible.

- What's going on with that guy?

- It's okay, but we met at a Panera Bread...

- ...because it has clean bathrooms.

- Yeah, that feels like a problem.

- Catch you later. I'll get coffee, okay?

- See you soon.

Oh, hey, Doris.

Is everything okay?

I just wanted to ask

if I could get another cup of coffee.

Oh, yeah, sure. Of course.

Um, let me just get out of your way.

- Oh!

- Ow! Okay.

Damn it. Okay. All right.

- Oh, no. Oh, no, I'm so sorry. So sorry.

- It's okay. It's okay.

Let me help. I'm so, so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

No, please.

- Doris, stop it.

- God.

Stop.

Okay.

- You did that on purpose, didn't you?

- No.

- Yeah, you did.

- No, no, I didn't.

- You're a liar.

- I'm not.

- And that's okay.

- Oh...!

I....

Oh, my God, you're sexy.

I am?

Doris? Doris?

- Doris, are you okay?

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I forgot something.

So...

...Todd says you and your mother

liked collecting things, is that true?

- Sometimes.

- What kinds of things?

Do you like to buy things new

or do you find things on the street?

Sometimes people throw away

really nice things.

You'd be surprised, is all, you know?

The market on Hylan Boulevard

was a zoo today.

I'm stocking up on frozen food

for Thanksgiving.

I'm thinking of making

a rice stuffing this year...

...plus the homemade

cranberry sauce, the rolls...

We know, Roz. You prepare in advance.

You tell us every year like it's new.

I am not Roz to you, I'm your

grandmother. Show some respect.

You can call me Buzozia,

you can call me Noni, Nonni, Nuni.

When you can vote,

you can call me Roz.

Providing you're a Communist,

which in theory was a good idea.

- How's your mother?

- Good.

She's up for parole this summer.

- That's nice.

- She'll get out.

She stole that car but it was a hybrid.

So you're coming to Thanksgiving,

right, Dorry?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

I'm making my famous

mini-marshmallow sweet potato pie.

Yum.

Oh, Buzuzia, could you get one

of those tofu turkeys for me and Dave?

- We're going vegan.

- Who's Dave?

- Vivian's boyfriend.

- He's not my boyfriend.

Vivian's male friend who is here

constantly eating all the food...

- ...and sucking face.

- Oh, my God, we do not suck face.

Where'd you meet him?

Is he in your classes with you?

Yeah, we go to the same school.

We're doing The Glass Menagerie.

- He plays the gentleman caller.

- Oh, that's so nice.

- And who do you play?

- I'm operating the light board.

Speaking of gentlemen callers,

what's going on with you, Dorry?

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing.

I'm getting nowhere with John.

I feel so stupid around him.

It's just not meant to be.

- What's his full name?

- John Fremont.

Love is war, honey.

You need to find common interests.

Melvin and I... May he rest in peace.

Melvin and I....

Melvin and I... Melvin and I

loved improvisational jazz.

I think you need to find common ground

with this man.

How can I find common ground

when the guy won't even talk to me?

- He's on Facebook.

- Huh?

John Fremont is on Facebook.

See?

He grew up in Chicago.

He went to Syracuse.

He likes yoga, Frisbee, Indian food.

- Roz, he likes Indian food.

- When did you have Indian food?

I didn't, but I'm sure I'd like it.

- There he is.

- There he is.

- Check this out. Look at that.

- What else? What else? Go on.

We can't see the rest,

we have to be friends with him.

- Well, let's be friends with him.

- No, Doris, it's not like real friends.

We have to make you a profile

and then ask him to be friends.

Oh. No, I can't do that. I can't do that.

- No.

- Okay.

Then let's make a fake account.

He'll never know.

Yes.

- Okay.

- How about...

- Okay.

- ...this one?

Oh, this is a very bad idea.

- No, it's not.

- Stop.

Let's see. Find someone who looks like

they have, you know, a master's degree.

Okay.

- Yes. Yes.

- Oh, her?

- Yes.

- Yeah, yeah. Totally.

She needs a name.

Lilith Primrose.

I always fantasized my name

would be Lilith Primrose...

...if I was in a romance novel.

Or Lilith Comeswell.

Let's just stick with Primrose.

Okay, let's stick with Primrose.

- Let's get you some friends here.

- Oh, yeah?

Because we don't want John thinking

that you're his only friend.

What? What? What happened?

Oh, my God, we're in.

- We're in?

- We got in.

- We're in?

- Yes, look.

Roz. Roz, come quick. We're in.

- I'm in the kitchen. I can't hear you.

- Oh, my God. We're in.

- We're in. Oh, look.

- Look at all this.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Oh, my gosh.

He rides a bike.

Drinks beer. What else?

Likes dogs.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Tapas.

Ahh.

"Baby Goya and the Nuclear Winters."

What?

Oh, "I don't recognize your name.

Have we met?"

Uh....

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Yes.

We met at a party in...

...Malibu...

...once.

"Oh, okay. Well, see you around."

See you around.

Definitely see you around.

Oh, my God.

Can I help you?

I'm wondering if you have this band.

Baby Goya and the Nuclear Winters.

Electropop. It's cool sh*t.

- Yeah, cool sh*t.

- It's over here.

Sure, of course. Cool sh*t.

Dance like you're on fire

Roll down the window to your love

I got a strange desire

To move with you

To move with you

Giving you a piece of my love

Give me the last part over

Take me higher

Make me bolder

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Come walk through this fire

Where we don't get older

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Hi, John. I brought you a coffee.

No sugar because I noticed

that's how you like it and...

- That's so cool. Thank you, Doris.

- Who's that, John?

- It's Doris.

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