Hello, My Name Is Doris Page #3

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- Oh, Doris.

- I should probably go.

- Yeah.

- But thanks for the coffee. All right.

- You're welcome.

Since gay marriage became legal,

it's been like so much pressure.

Everyone's like, "Let's do that."

I don't wanna do that.

Hey, do you guys know Doris?

- Doris?

- Yeah.

- What, from Accounting?

- Yeah.

Uh, kind of. Can you ever

really know someone?

I was dating a girlfriend.

One day, I realized...

...I did not even know who she was.

- Who was she?

- No, I mean... I knew who she...

Her name was Jennifer,

but my point is...

- ...I didn't know who she was.

- She lie to you about her last name?

- No. Who she was.

- You said you didn't know her.

- Her essence. I didn't know...

- What's she like though?

- Are we...?

- Jennifer?

- No, Doris.

- She's, like, a shy person.

- So I don't know. I mean, she's shy.

- How'd she get here?

Oh, she's like a holdover

from the dinosaur ages.

When the company rebranded, we

had to keep some lower-level people...

...so she's been doing data entry since

this company was dealing in chinos.

I think she's kind of weird, man.

She has to, like, take a boat to get here.

I think she, like,

lives with her mom, right?

And they're like, you know,

cat ladies or whatever.

- Actually, her mom just passed away.

- Really?

- Yeah, super recently.

- Oh, that's sad.

She was a thousand years old. It's fine.

Well, she's definitely weird...

...but I don't know,

she's like a good weird.

Is that a... Is that a thing?

- Hey, Doris.

- Hey.

Hey, I just wanted to say thank you

for the coffee earlier.

Sorry if I was rude. Anne's been on me

about the December catalog...

...since I got here,

and it's been kind of a thing.

No, it's okay.

- I understand.

- Cool. All right.

Is that a Baby Goya

and the Nuclear Winters CD?

- Yes.

- That's my favorite band.

You're kidding.

Wouldn't have thought

you'd be into electronic music.

Oh, I am. I'm a real music person.

I like, you know, electronic

and doowop and show tunes.

You're a baller, Doris.

Straight up.

- Thank you.

- Pound it.

No, pound it.

Put your fist next to mine.

Yeah. Explode it.

Make it rain.

Bye.

- You know what I forgot?

- What?

- To draw. Can I?

- Oh, God.

Just give me a break on this one,

all right?

You didn't draw first?

Or did you just play?

I'm playing now.

- Just... Wait, just forget the rules, okay?

- Yeah, okay.

- Forget the rules.

- Forget the rules.

- Forget the rules.

- Would you knock, please?

- Thank you.

- Okay.

- Hello?

- Roz?

- It's me.

- Hey, Dorry.

Look, is Viv around?

Can I talk to her?

Sure. Um....

Yeah, hold on.

Vivi.

Vivian!

- I'll get her.

- No.

- Vivian!

- Vivian!

What?

Pick up the ph... Pick up the phone.

Why?

Because I asked you

to pick up the phone.

She never listens to me.

- Is she there?

- Fine.

- Great.

- Why does she wanna talk to Vivian?

I don't know.

Why didn't you ask her?

Play.

My turn? Do I have to knock

or at the end?

- No, that's at the end.

- Okay, I'm learning, I'm learning.

Viv, I have

a really important question.

What does "baller" mean?

- Baller?

- Yeah. If someone calls you a baller.

Well, that's really good.

A baller's like a super cool person.

John called me a baller today.

- Doris, he must really like you.

- You know what it was?

I had Baby Goya and

the Nuclear Winters CD on my desk.

- Do you know who they are?

- One sec.

Just because... Yeah, I mean,

you know, it's one of his favorites...

-...and so that's why he saw...

- Okay.

Doris, Baby Goya and

the Nuclear Winters is playing...

...this Saturday night in Williamsburg.

- You have to go.

- Oh, no, no.

No, no, no. I can't do that.

Williamsburg?

- I'd take a ferry and two trains.

- It's his favorite band.

- I can't, no. I can't.

- That means he's gonna be there.

This is fate, Doris.

I'm supposed to have dinner

at Todd's house.

That's fine. Just go after.

The concert starts at 10.

Come on, Doris. Live a little.

I wouldn't even know

what you wear to a concert.

With electronic music you should

probably just wear, like...

...something with bright colors.

Do you own anything neon?

Neon?

Aunt Doris, can I ask you a question?

Yes, Sawyer.

Do you have a giant pair of shoes

to go with that clown suit?

- Sawyer.

- Enough, you two.

Both of you, just go watch TV

or something. Go on. Go.

They're just being kids, Doris.

They didn't mean anything by it.

I like your outfit.

I think it's a lot of fun.

Thank you.

So, Doris...

...how are things going

with Dr. Edwards?

- You making any progress there?

- It's fine. It's fine.

We're gonna clean out the house,

maybe move out.

- No, I'm not planning to do that. No.

- Okay. All right.

Do you realize how selfish

you're being, Doris?

You cannot keep that house

all for yourself.

It belongs to all of us.

It's my home. I've lived in it

my whole life. Todd, it's my home.

Is it too much to ask

that we at least just sell the junk?

It's not junk, Cindy.

Everything there means something.

How could it possibly

mean anything?

- You live in there like a crazy person.

- All right.

Maybe you're the crazy person and I'm

normal. Did you ever think of that? Hm?

Hm?

I told you

she was gonna act this way.

Why do you have to be confrontational

all the time?

Can't you see

she only wants to help?

- I have to go.

- Where are you gonna go?

To a concert.

A concert?

It's 9:
00. What, is the Staten Island

Glee Club doing a late show?

No. I'm going to go watch a band called

Baby Goya and the Nuclear Winters.

Ever heard of it?

Huh.

Baby what?

Doris. Is that you?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- Gosh, yeah.

I just thought I'd stop by

and, you know, take a peek. I just...

- We don't have to work tomorrow.

- No, true.

- Yeah.

- Well...

...you look amazing.

Well, thank you, just,

you know, this thing.

I wear it all the time.

Just threw it on. Heh.

Is this your first Baby Goya show?

It is. I've tried to go before,

but I've been always busy.

He is going to blow your mind.

It's a pretty cool crowd, right?

- Really, really, very cool.

- Great jumpsuit, lady.

- Your outfit is fierce.

- Oh, thank you.

Get in the pose.

Goya!

Dance like you're on fire

Roll down the window to your love

I got a strange desire

To move with you

To move with you

Giving you a piece of my love

- I can't see.

- What?

- I can't see anything.

- Oh, here. Get on my shoulders.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Dance, Rascal, Dance

I move my feet

I grab you hard

Take your hand

Play your part

The bad desires of restless souls

Take my heart

Take control

Whoa

Take me higher

Make me bolder

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

And I don't want to be off on me

Just want you all over me

Are you having fun?

What?

Are you having fun?

Yeah.

Lasers and lace

Something that I can't replace

'Cause I want what I want

And I want everything so....

Bonsoir, Brooklyn.

Whoo!

Is he coming back again?

- Is he...? No, I think he's done.

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