Hello, My Name Is Doris Page #4

---

- Oh. Oh.

Hey, guys, Baby Goya

wants to meet you.

Come on, let's go.

Okay, wait a minute.

Oh, good, she found you.

- Welcome.

- Man, this is so cool.

I'm such a huge fan, Baby Goya.

I'm John Fremont.

Thanks, bro. Who are you?

Miller, Doris.

M-I-L-L-E-R.

- Doris Miller.

- Hi, Doris Miller.

What'd you think of my show?

And be honest.

It was a little loud in places and I could

have done without the explicit lyrics.

Other than that,

I thought it was wonderful.

I enjoyed it.

- I like you, Doris.

- Why, thank you.

You say what you mean

and you mean what you say.

- Kind of.

- You're a true original.

- I try.

- Niles, what do you think?

She looks f***ing sick, dude.

- Right?

- For sure.

- All right.

- We've been looking...

- ...for a model to be on my new album.

- Oh, good.

It's gonna be called Fresh Vintage.

- Nice.

- Niles is shooting it.

He's my photographer.

What's up, Doris?

How are you and sh*t?

- What's happening?

- I'm just fine and sh*t.

- Just fine.

- That's Niles O'Rourke.

- He's a major fashion photographer.

- Oh, that's nice.

Niles and I love your look, Doris.

Do you wanna do this?

Yeah. Niles, can you get her digits,

we'll have Cassie set it up?

- Get my... Get my what?

- Your digits.

- What?

- It's your f***ing phone number.

We need your phone number

to call you and sh*t.

Okay. Have you got a pencil?

No. Nobody f***ing

has pencils anymore.

All the ladies in the place get wild

Turn the bass up

Get, get loud

All the ladies in the place get wild

I make my own vanilla.

Each bottle has a special bean in it.

It's kind of like the worm

in a bottle of tequila...

- ...except it's not tequila, it's vanilla.

- Oh, that's nice.

And it's not a worm, it's a bean.

- Wonderful.

- And I make my own chocolate bars.

Yeah. Each one's hand-cut

and comes with a haiku in the wrapper.

- That's nice.

- What do you make, Doris?

- I make my own blueberry cornbread.

- Cornbread, that's amazing.

Yeah, well, it comes from a mix

in a box, but I add blueberries in.

- That is such a good idea.

- Yeah.

So how do you f***ing know Doris

or whatever?

Oh, we work together.

Oh, I get it. I totally get it, man.

She's hot. Doris is hot.

No, we're not...

We're not together like that.

We're just... We're just friends.

Ah, friends with bennies, I hope.

- When you f***...

JOHN:
No, I get it.

We're just cool, man.

We're just regular friends.

- Oh, I got you, dude.

- Yeah.

I teach at a gay preschool

in Park Slope.

- Oh, that's nice.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All my kids identify as either lesbian,

gay, bisexual or transgender.

- Well, that's nice.

- Yeah, it's really changed my life.

I mean, like, these little kids

have changed me...

...more than I've changed them,

you know?

I dress seasonally and

monochromatically. This fall, I'm pink.

I was thinking about paisley for winter

and white for summer.

What's your method, Doris?

- Oh, I don't have a method.

- Wow.

So, Doris, where do you live?

I live on Staten Island

right near the ferry.

- Wow. Staten Island?

- Yeah.

- That's so first wave.

- It is, yes.

- You're a pioneer.

- You know...

...I think I was actually the first one

on my block to have cable TV.

You guys, you guys, we should all

leave Williamsburg in a giant bus...

...and move to Staten Island.

Yes, oh, my God, yes.

Hey, I wanna make a toast.

To Doris.

- To Doris!

- Whoo!

Thank you.

So things are going well?

I'm having the time of my life.

I mean, these people have really

welcomed me into their world.

It's really something, you know?

Feel like you're ready now

to share a little more with me?

I am. I am. I am.

Tell me about your father.

One morning, we just....

We woke up

and he was gone and, uh....

Well, that was interesting.

Nice. You look f***ing tight, Doris.

- No, it's the pants that are tight.

- Hey, let's do this, guys.

Give me f***ing beauty,

f***ing emotion, all that sh*t.

F***, yeah, Doris.

Give it to me, Doris. Yes. Give me hot.

You know, f***ing steamy

like dance the music.

You know, it's like, I'm claiming.

Doris, that is so sick.

That's so tight. That's so sick.

That's so tight, Doris.

Nikki was smart and funny, and one day

she just up and broke up with me.

She did it over text.

Do you wanna see it?

Right there.

It sucks because I just feel like

I don't know what went wrong.

Maybe she thought I was boring.

I get nervous

that I'm boring sometimes.

I don't think you're boring, John.

Thank you.

I just want people to like me.

Yeah.

What about you, Doris?

- What?

- You ever been in love?

- I don't know. Heh.

- You don't know?

- I don't know.

- Come on.

I feel like I just spilled my guts

on the floor to you with this....

It's your turn. I'd like to know.

- I was engaged once.

- Were you really?

Yeah, I really was.

I really was.

I was in my early 20s

and his name was Arthur.

And he was a journalism student

at city college...

...and we met at a bar in the Village

and I was with my friend Roz...

...and he was with his friend Peter,

and they ordered drinks...

...and then sat down at our table with us

and we just talked and talked and talked.

And he loved folk music

and foreign films...

...and he had brown eyes...

...and a big smile and....

We just spent

every moment together...

...and he took me to all these

foreign films that were really weird.

And.... Heh.

And then one night, he was taking me

home on the ferry, and it was bumpy.

I remember it was really rocky

and bumpy...

...and he got down on one knee

and then... And he fell over.

And we laughed and then

he took out a little ring...

...and he asked me to marry him

and I said yes.

And...

...then he got a job, uh,

working on a newspaper...

...in Flagstaff, Arizona, of all places,

and he asked me to go with him.

And, uh...

...I couldn't leave my mother.

It would have killed her

to leave her alone.

And he left and I stayed,

and that's that.

I'm... I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Thank you for walking me to the train.

Yeah, I mean, of course. I can't believe

you have to take a ferry after this too.

Well, that's all right. I'm used to it.

I had a really good time tonight.

It's just nice talking to you.

- Really?

- Yeah, really.

I like you, Doris. Okay.

I got you a little bit there.

- A little bit.

- Sorry.

Okay, good night.

You look different.

Do I?

Thank you.

Okay, thank you.

Do you think that sometime

you might be willing to let me...

...come over and look at your house?

How about I come this weekend?

Oh, that's so cool.

- You look great.

- Oh, stop.

Are you guys, like, together now?

Viv, please.

Well, I'm not saying anything,

but we did kiss.

Doris.

It was accidental, but I felt a spark.

So when are you gonna see him next?

When's your next date?

Well, I'll see him at the office next week.

I'm sure we'll set up something.

Just be careful, okay?

What do you mean?

I mean just what I said. Be careful.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes