Hello, My Name Is Frank Page #6

So it's good

we list them all down now.

Well, if we all died today,

then your stupid list

wouldn't matter, would it?

Vinnie:

I'll go.

( Clears throat )

I want to brew beer,

start my own brewery,

and then get married

and have a huge family.

Awe, that's so nice.

All right, fine.

I'll go.

I wanna live every day

like it's my last

which is what

I've been doing anyway.

I wanna get a Harley

and ride around the world.

Where will you go?

It doesn't matter.

It's all about the journey

and not the destination.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

I'd totally do that.

I mean, you know,

before I settle down

and everything.

Yeah, I'm not settling down.

To be stuck in

one place forever.

Ugh.

It sucks being stuck in hell.

O-Kay.

What about you, frank?

Well, ( Chuckles )

I... I... I've never really

thought about it.

Stupid, crazy b*tch.

( Grunting )

( Clears throat ) I've always

just lived day by day.

With my condition

there's certain limitations.

So, I... I just stay at home

and watch TV, read,

listen to my music.

I... I don't really dream

of doing anything.

Yeah, but if you

could do anything,

what would you do?

Well...

I have always been curious

to try one thing.

What?

To drive.

To drive?

That's it?

( Laughs )

If you could do anything

in this world

and you just want to drive?

Yeah, sit behind the wheel

and have my foot on the pedal

and just drive.

F***ing a**hole.

( Grunting continues )

- ( Clears throat )

- ( Alisa laughs )

What do you want to drive?

Mm, anything.

A car, a truck, a bus.

Anything with wheels

and a motor.

Well, let's do it then.

Laura, let him drive.

There's no way

I'm letting frank drive.

Oh, come on.

It's his dying wish.

- Let the man drive.

- I'm sorry, frank,

but I don't think

my parents would be too happy

if I let you drive the car.

Nah, it... it's okay.

It's just a stupid wish.

F***ing crazy b*tches.

- ( Clears throat )

- Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

Well, what about you, Laura?

What's on your bucket list?

Uh...

I don't know.

I just graduated high school,

I've worked really hard,

and mom's was sick.

I haven't had time to think

about what comes next.

You plan on going to college?

We'll see. Um...

I just want to make sure

frank is settled

- before I go.

- ( Laughs ) Oh, she's going.

There's no question about it.

Well, it's my life, isn't it?

All right.

Say you don't go to college,

what... what're you gonna do?

I don't know, frank,

but I'll figure it out.

The problem is,

you spend so much time

thinking about everyone else,

you haven't had any time

to think about yourself.

- Dumb b*tch.

- It's true, Laura.

Not the dumb b*tch,

but the part before that.

Yeah, I mean,

frank can take of himself.

Right, frank?

What is this?

An intervention?

We're just saying that,

you know,

you need some time

to take care yourself.

- Right, guys?

- Uh-huh.

Has everyone aired out

their grievances?

'Cause we're not talking

about this anymore.

Kids:
( Chanting ) Frank!

Frank! Frank!

- Ow!

- ( Chanting continues )

We're here, frank.

- Wow, this place is amazing.

- I got it.

The best place to grow up.

Aunt Flossie!

Kim:

You got it?

Alisa:

Oh, have fun, guys.

You coming?

Cock f***ing

son of a slut whore.

( Barks )

Vinnie!

( Laughing )

Aunt Flossie,

I'd like you to meet Alisa.

Hi, nice to meet you.

- Are you his girlfriend?

- Oh, no, no,

well, I... I mean,

not yet anyway.

Well, welcome Vinnie's

not yet girlfriend.

Thanks so much for having us.

And these are her friends.

This is Kim.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Vinnie:

Laura and...

- b*tch tractor f***er! (

Barking continues ) - Frank.

Well, aren't you a colorful one.

Welcome home.

She's says that to everybody,

but it's true.

For the next couple of days

consider this home.

Or forever long you wanna stay.

Come on.

Come in, come in,

and make yourself comfortable.

Vinnie will take you upstairs

and show you your bedrooms.

I'm gonna make

a little bit of tea.

Thank you.

Wow.

Get that apple out.

Now, you stay here, all right?

You don't say a word.

I don't want to hear you.

I don't want to smell you.

And for the life of god,

keep that mouth closed.

Okay, now,

just stay right there.

Don't you screw this up for me.

Okay.

Hello, hello.

Oh, am I interrupting?

You got company?

- Come in, come in, come in.

- Oh. Yeah,

I just wanted to drop by

and bring you some apples

from the trees.

Aw, thank you,

preacher Alexander.

Well, you keep baking

those apple pies

and I'll keep

bringing them over.

Stupid Jesus lover b*tch!

( Clears throat )

Sorry.

F***ing sh*t eating whoreface

Bible trash!

( Grunting )

Well, my offer still stands,

Flossie.

And you know I'm offering

more than market value

for this house.

I don't think we should be

talking about this now.

You're not seriously gonna sell

the house to Puggis, are you?

Your uncle promised Puggis

that if he would

stay and work the farm

and take care of it,

he would sell it to him

for a lower price.

Yeah, but he's not

taking care of it,

and besides, you know

uncle is in no condition

to be making those decisions.

You know Puggis manipulated him.

I don't know that.

Oh, g...

You f***ing freak show.

Why didn't you stay

in your mama's womb?

Oh.

Stupid f***ing

white trash b*tch!

- ( Clears throat )

- Dear god...

What the hell is go...

Ah, sh*t.

Are you the preacher's son?

Y... yeah, yeah.

I'm his son, John.

Wh... why hasn't anyone

fixed your teeth?

( Sniffs )

My... my pa says it's the way

god wants me to be.

So...

I already told you,

preacher man,

she ain't sellin' to you.

Well, that's for her to decide,

don't you think?

After all I done for you,

you and your husband.

Is this how you gonna treat me?

He made me a promise,

a f***ing promise.

This is her house to sell,

so she's making the call.

The offer's good until Monday.

- You think... - y'all go

get the hell outta here!

Go on!

She ain't got nothin'

to think about, preacher.

( Door slams )

F***ing Satan

worshiping a**hole!

Hey, don't swear

in front of my son!

In fact, I don't want you

talkin' to him, neither.

Why didn't you stay put

like I told you to...

Fix his f***ing teeth!

I'm not sorry.

Your husband made me a promise

on his deathbed.

You got to honor that.

Oh, yeah, you're the one

to talk about honor.

Making him promise you

to sell the house

for almost nothing

on his last breath.

This is between

your aunt and me.

You ain't got

nothin' to do with this, boy.

If I ever see that preacher

around here again...

There's gonna be trouble.

( Door opens, closes )

You ever meet someone

who doesn't give a f***?

Well, I don't give a f***.

You wanna bully someone?

You bully me.

Get off me, you retard.

You nut!

Don't worry, aunt Flossie.

Everything's gonna be okay.

I don't know what to do.

Just leave it to me.

I'll take care of everything.

( Knocking on door )

Hey, aunt flossie's

taking a nap.

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