Hellphone Page #4

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You didn't.

I did.

You live in a museum.

With an Aston Martin

and a garage full of others.

- And your clothes...

- I have stuff.

So what?

Well I don't.

Girls who have it all

like boys who have it all.

Judge a book by its cover

and count those chickens.

You don't need to dress

like a Polo ad to exist.

Sorry.

You're right.

This jacket

is so uncomfortable.

High heels may look good...

but they really hurt.

Nice!

You're right.

And your tie...

it's not too tight?

And your dress?

Don't worry.

Virgil will return his dad's car.

I'm not worried about his car.

It's the cell phone

I left inside.

We're not going to chase it down.

You'll get it tomorrow.

I told you.

It's different from other cell phones.

It's special.

Look! Pampers forgot his phone!

Toss it!

Hey guys! It's ringing!

This is Sid Soupir.

Hellll-o Franklin!

Sid Soupir...

is not your peer...

What am I doing here?

Hey guys! I fell out!

I'm totally unharmed!

I fell out!

SMOKING KILLS:

Did you like the movie?

Yeah... I loved it.

Can you call Virgil

for my cell?

- You're obsessed with it.

- It's one-of-a-kind.

Sid Soupir?

You know what? Follow us.

- Come on.

- What's wrong?

- Keep away from him!

- What now?

He told Franklin to jump!

He casts cell spells!

- He's a psycho!

- Virgil, David:
go home to bed.

- Lock him up!

- It's the truth!

- That's why we came here!

- Don't let him make any calls!

Careful, Angie.

He's a sicko!

Sit.

I had a baby, haven't slept all week.

I'm not in the mood.

So I'm only going to ask once.

Is this your phone?

Yeah it's his.

What's going on?

Franklin Tour is dead.

- What?

- He jumped out of a car.

His friends claim Sid called

and persuaded him to jump.

He was friends with my son.

A bully, but not suicidal.

Listen kid.

I may have size 14 feet,

but I'm no clown.

Did you steal an AC Cobra

license number 25 LKY 75

registered to Victor Husson?

- No, he lent it to me.

- So why was it reported stolen?

Can I see your student permit?

Shall we start from the beginning?

Name, address...

Captain Hook

Lieutenant Hook here.

No, "Lieutenant".

Sure thing.

Who cares about a dead kid

and a stolen Cobra?

Case closed.

Here's your phone, kid.

Can I have you shown out?

We're fine, Captain.

Lieutenant.

Nighty night, kids.

- Unbelievable...

- Have a blast!

What happened in there?

You should have seen his face.

Like a fried chicken wing.

Imagine his tombstone:

"Here lie the remains

of Mr. Fritz.

"Bring your own barbeque sauce".

Dialed numbers:
Captain Hook

You okay, Sid?

Sorry I have to go.

Go home. I'll call you!

Wait! You can't do this to me!

Why did you do this?

What did I do?

Why? Tell me!

I LUV U:

Pierre!

Tiger!

Mrs. D'Harcourt?

Mon petit sucre,

my Zucker, my sugar!

You know how

to drive a woman wild!

I almost had an orgasm

au telephone.

am Telefon, on the phone.

Fais-moi l'amour,

make love to me.

You got it wrong.

Mein Strudel,

my apple pie,

mein Wienerschnitzel,

Give me your Knudel.

- Take my Knudels. They're yours.

- Stop it!

Let's combine our Knudels.

You bastard!

It's the phone!

Your phone turned you

into an a**hole.

I need your help!

Tiger!

Mrs. D'Harcourt!

The game ends here, my friend.

Get out your tool,

my little handyman!

Ambulance?

Where did you come from?

We are standing in front of

the world's largest necropolis

containing the bones of

- brace yourselves -

six million Parisians.

From the Duc d'Orlans

to Mr. and Mrs. What's-his-name...

Let's move forward.

This bottomless pit is bottomless,

but still 520 feet deep...

Go back where you came from.

- So long, honey.

- Bye, princess.

- Have a good trip.

- You'll miss your plane!

I was right.

- Franklin and Fritz...

- It's no coincidence.

Not in one night.

Your boyfriend's a killer.

Long-distance. One call kills.

Sid didn't make any calls.

He never left my side.

It's obviously him.

It's obvious

that it's obvious!

What is it, Angie?

His phone called by itself.

In a plastic bag, alone.

Then the cop's phone rang.

He answered and became...

really nice.

And he let us go.

We'll be late for Spanish.

I think this is yours.

Be careful, next time.

You could have busted it.

Tiger...

Everyone's talking.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm happy to see you, dude.

I heard about Fritz too.

I was really scared that you...

You were right, Tiger.

I can't destroy it,

can't shut it off.

I can't lose it!

There must be a way to stop it.

- Answer, Sid

- No, don't!

Okay, we'll talk.

If I start acting weird,

knock me out.

Hellll-o Sid.

You're the one

my heart chose.

The hour of your death

rings close.

It's a machine!

In you I live,

in you I hide.

Friend or foe?

You can decide.

You're not me!

You don't live in me!

We don't belong together!

I don't love you! Go away!

I know the girl

for whom you lust.

For our love to live,

die she must.

Okay, the phone works alone!

But Sid's innocent!

Don't answer!

You think his phone is...

Is what? The devil phone?

Yeah, maybe.

You wanted to scare me?

Nice try!

Now I'm getting the heebie-jeebies.

You should have seen your faces!

It was way too funny.

It's your mother.

Hello, Mom?

- Who's there?

- Just a friend. What is it?

Lower the flame under my resin.

I may be late.

You'll be fine, babe.

Listen, babe, hands off.

Why don't you all

just get the hell out?

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

It's Mom!

What a mess.

It's Mom!

It's my mother.

Yeah, he's here.

She wants to talk to you.

Your mother?

That's a toothpick.

- Is she deceased?

- Yes.

But I'm still a virgin!

Stop it! Don't start!

Shut up!

You f***ing killed him.

Tara, come back!

Tara, heel! Heel!

Let me.

I'm good with dogs.

I'll take care of it...

- Nice little doggy.

- David!

Me David, friend of Milou.

Sit now!

Sit!

Like a poodle.

Don't insult it.

Oh my God! Stop it!

- But you looked weird.

- Yeah, right.

You always look weird.

Angie?

Maybe she left for school.

Let me ring!

- You okay?

- No.

Stop it!

Come this way!

- Unbelievable.

- Damn...

It's me, Mom!

Who's the old cow?

My mother!

- She'll be fine. I hope.

- How awful!

Awful!

Margot, David, Virgil, Clemence

are all dead in the kitchen!

- What?

- The police!

- It'll call them right back.

- Destroy it, Sid.

I tried! Water, hammer,

blow-torch, microwave!

Not a scratch!

It's indestructible!

Mom's compactor!

It'sforpressingthemetal.

It'shydraulicandincrediblystrong!

What was that?

- Who killed the dog?

- I did.

Tiger!

Come here!

Sid!

Put it there.

A 5-letter code.

Sucks!

That's not her style.

Rodin.

Doesn't work!

- It doesn't work!

- Monet.

- Csar.

- The Emperor?

The sculptor.

He makes... like your mom's.

Zidane!

- Start it!

- We need a 5-letter code!

Try "Angie".

It works!

It's over.

It's over.

Okay, it's dead.

No, we're dead.

"We're dead"

doesn't sit well with me.

Dad always said if you fall,

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